Your Game is Over

Killer was surprised to hear from me.  My track record for returning his calls over the last year was less than stellar. I explained to him my concerns first.  No need to offer my decision and have him turn on me. I needed to lay the ground work and MY rules.  Killer always had rules, Cindy Marie was laying out her rule book.  It really was just a post it note compared to his.

First, I would require a set of keys to his car in the event I wanted to go some where without him. Second, this was not a "second chance" or attempt at reconciliation, this was just a trip with a close friend. Third, no sleeping together.  I wanted my own room. Fourth, I was not his maid or housekeeper, we shared all responsibilities to include paying for it.  I would pay my half of the gas, room and meals.  He put his foot down on that one.  He could pay for that, I was his wife still.  Which brings me to the next rule, on this trip, don't pull the "you're my wife card out ever!"

He actually agreed to all of my stipulations!  They weren't really stringent, but I needed boundaries that I could rely on him abiding by, for my piece of mind. We agreed that we would drive down to the Florida Gulf and figure out where we would stay when we found a spot.  Estero Island, Fort Myers Beach, Florida.

Killer on the Beach!

We had a wonderful trip down.  Yes, we stopped at all the regular stops, we revisited our history and memories, but as Killer said, "Is it really all that bad?" It wasn't. It was predictable and with that came a comfort of knowing what to expect. No surprises. Just two people who had a history traveling together in the comfort of a pair of worn shoes, too comfy to throw out.

I had shared with him my trip with Michael to Indian Rocks Beach and how I liked the area. Understandably, Killer wanted to stay away from there, so we headed south and I loved Estero Island! We found a little condo rental right on the beach.  The only problem with the condo were the other tenants, ants, hundreds of them! We stayed at the Tiki Resort.  It wasn't much, but really I just wanted to be on the beach.

Killer could sit on the lanai and watch me laying on the beach.  But he actually spent time with me on the beach, in the sun! We went to Fort Myers and walked around the Thomas Edison Estate and took in some history of the area.  We went to area restaurants. We drove around and enjoyed the sights.   We went shopping in the touristy down town. We walked the beach at sunset. We walked to dinner and took the trolley home each night.  We had ice cream cones on the pier watching the sun set. We went to the dog races..laughing every time the announcer introduced the beginning of the race, "Here comes Sparky," reminding us of the days we went to the horse races in Northville and Jackson, Michigan. I still had a hard time giving up two dollars to bet on the animals! 

He had been kind and considerate all week.  Yes, he liked me to still get his coffee and make him a sandwich, but I didn't mind. He'd pour me a cold Pepsi and bring it to me on the beach.  Killer never waited on me. He would let me sleep in, while he drove down to the corner cafe to have coffee and donuts with the locals.  He had brought me presents from a trip he had taken with the "good ole" boys earlier that year fishing in Cabo San Lucas. I guess because when he told me I didn't believe him.  Killer, fishing? Out of the country with other males?  He actually enjoyed it and for many years went with this same bunch to Canada fishing.  Hard to believe the man who thought a tent was a Holiday Inn could hole up in a log cabin out in the middle of no where and fish, but I was happy when he found this little hobby. It was some thing he really  looked forward to.

White Crow

The last night we were there, he wanted to take me to the Mucky Duck.  It was an upscale restaurant compared to where we had been eating.  I don't mind upscale, I prefer hole in the wall. But I have a hard time paying for a meal that averages what groceries for a family of four cost in those days. I'm just not into food that much to pay outrageous prices for atmosphere. The week had been fairly pleasant.  We sat there examining the menu, Killer asked me what I was looking at for dinner.  He had done this every night so it wasn't alarming and as the waiter approached, he looked to me for my order and Killer spoke, "My wife will have....."

How could some thing so innocent blow my fuse? He had made an effort all week long. I could see that he was trying.  I'd thank him when he did some thing that I knew was hard for him to do. I wanted him to know his effort did not go  unnoticed. I would draw back when I knew he was really trying, such as holding my hands when we walked.  This just wasn't Killer. He hated public displays of affection.

I allowed him to order and I sat there, quietly. He knew. After the waiter left, he looked puzzled. 

"Beadie, you are my wife, I order for you. You know that.  I have let you play your little game all week long and now it is over."

WOW! This was almost as shocking as "You're married now, the honeymoon is over." Did I really think he was going to be different?  I knew I was his wife, legally, on paper. But, mentally, I  had retired from that position sixteen months earlier. We finished dinner.  I don't really remember much of dinner as he was lecturing me and I had tuned him out. I had to prepare to make the drive home the  next day, wondering if he was going to hold me hostage for twenty hours non stop while he spoke to me about coming to my senses.