Chappy did not see what significance telling me about Vicki would make on our relationship. To him, it was easy, he picked me, she was in the past. Men, they don't understand that women are different. What those little tidbits his sister shared with me, told me that all the times that I thought there was some thing mysterious going on, there was. My gut was talking to me.
The fact that he was sleeping with me and seeing her, told me that I couldn't trust him. The fact that he had lied and said he went to Traverse City with his sister instead of his girlfriend told me that he could lie and be convincing! For two years he had been living this double life. No wonder he had to report home to Momma. Momma knew about Vicki and she'd wonder where he slept if he had not shown up in his bed under her roof! UGH! I was so upset!
We sat on the back deck of my house. I couldn't even speak after he explained himself. He loved me, but I had told him I didn't have an interest in a relationship. He didn't want to hurt Vicki and so he had to gradually taper their relationship to the end. As bizarre as this sounds, I could understand that. I had not wanted to hurt Killer, that is why I didn't cut him off. I wanted him to come to the conclusion that he didn't want me. But I was honest. Killer knew about Michael, Michael knew about Killer.
The first Christmas we knew each other, we were sleeping together and he took Vicki home for the holidays. My mind kept playing over all the events now that I had the flip side of the coin revealed.
I had fallen in love with a man who didn't understand that this secret felt like a betrayal to me. I had supported him, raved about him, even recommended him to a friend to hire for a the current job he held.
Chappy was very good at sales, it was quite evident in the sales job he had given me over the last two years. He worked for a small company and I knew he should span his wings and fly, but he had to get into a company where there was room to grow. I had recommended him to a friend who created a sales job in her office. It was similar work, but for a much larger company that was nationwide and global. He didn't want to jump from his comfortable pond into the ocean but I convinced him the sky was the limit, but he had to leave the small mom and pop and swim up stream to the ocean.
He was hired and he took off with this company. They loved him and twenty years later, he is still with them and doing very well. But back to what a rat bag he was.
The pressure of the wedding and then this was more than I wanted to handle. I listened to Chappy explain himself over and over and beg me to not give up on him. He loved me, only me. I would never have to worry about him ever hurting me again.
I sat there so quiet. Contemplating all the paths that I could choose at that very moment. We were just two months from being married. Could I trust him?
I turned to him and in a very sincere and calm voice I spoke, very clearly. "If you ever fuck around on me, ever, I will take you for every fucking dime you have, do I make myself clear?" He promised, I would never have to worry about his faithfulness again.
Sissy had been out to the dress shop. She didn't like the dress that I had selected. She didn't look nice in it because she was pear shaped and she did not look good in black. Min told me that I'd have to pick a dress that Sissy felt nice in, this was just as an important date for her as it was for me and she should feel pretty.
Of course Min had been in touch with Chappy and asked if I had told him the colors I wanted for the wedding. He said I had and he didn't really care, but Momma Chappy let him know black was for funerals, not weddings and he needed to convince me to change the colors. Chappy came home to tell me that he thought we might want to reconsider the colors and the dress styles. I informed him Min had already been in touch with me and I wanted black and white. Tina Marie had already bought this dress. He explained I needed to keep peace in the family, it was already in an upheaval because of the ordeal with Wes, "just do this to make her happy, please?" And so I did. Did I realize this would be the plea I heard over and over during our marriage? Not at that date, I did not.
We picked out a dress that Sissy would look nice in. We picked a color that she would glow in and the dresses were ordered. The dresses were teal and the coordinating color would be a hot pink. I am not a pink girl, hot, pale or pretty, but this wasn't my party now, was it?
We were told where to go order the cake. We were told where to go put a deposit down on the netting with white lights strung throughout it to decorate the hall. We were told where to go for the caterers.
My own mother did not want a thing to do with any part of this event. She didn't go shopping with me, she didn't want to be there for any thing, so Min was. Min wanted to be a part of it all and I knew it, so I allowed it. I could have put my foot down, but this was her party, not my wedding.
My Mother always told me that if I ever decided to get married to not look to her or my father for financing, they eloped, their parents didn't give them a big wedding, so don't expect it.
My brother had been married in the Catholic Church, St. Michael's in Grand Ledge, but he married the woman whose parents put on the show. My parents had a "rehearsal" buffet at their home in Lansing when my brother got married. But they offered nothing, not the first time around and not the second time around.
Min gave us $2500. The same she had spent on Sissy to get married. She told us it could be spent any way we wanted and whatever was left was ours to keep or put toward our honeymoon. Unfortunately, this had parameters that would surface when we got to close to her barrier of just what she meant, we "could do any thing we wanted, as long as she approved."
I had kept every thing well in our budget. Bucky's daughter had gotten married a year or so earlier and had a beautiful gown. Bucky invited me over to look at it to see if I'd be interested in wearing it. I fell in love with this gown. It was so beautiful and it fit perfect. Every detail was me from the head piece to the fine details at the cuff of the sleeve and hem. My dress was free. Bucky stated that her daughter was now divorced, but she had always wanted the dress cleaned and boxed. That would be my gift to her for allowing me to share in the beauty of this gown.
We were preparing to go to the caterers. We were getting married at 6:30 on Friday evening and with the ceremony and pictures afterwards, we didn't want to have a lot of food wasted, so we had reviewed the menu options and chose to have roast beef, potatoes, vegetable and rolls. Probably had a salad in there for some coloring.
Min had limited the wedding guests to three hundred. I had limited seats available for my family and absolutely no children were allowed at this event. I had thought about inviting my brother although at this point we had not spoken for two years, but I knew if I did not invite his children, he'd be upset, so I didn't send an invitation at all.
Otherwise, I had two tables available for my friends and family, sixteen chairs out of three hundred people. My parents, grandmother, Uncle Jim, his two children and their spouses accounted for one table of family. I had one table for friends, so I invited a few from work that I was close to and a friend from my childhood, actually she was my cousin's friend, but I had grown up knowing her and always admired her. She had been my show and tell project in school, many moons ago. She was still close to my cousin Bob, but no longer close to my cousin, Jackie. Didn't matter, she was invited and she attended. I also invited Abe. He had been a good friend for the past two years and I wanted him there. He and his wife Mickey attended, but didn't stay long. That was it, sixteen people out of three hundred were there for the bride.
The rest of the room was filled with Min's relatives and friends. This was her party and she invited practically the whole town of Westphalia. So as we were heading out to the caterer, I asked Min if she'd like to drive along with us. The caterer was in my home town of DeWitt and it was a beautiful summer day for a drive.
We sat down with the caterer and gave him our selections. Min did not approve. "You are only offering beef to your guests? Everyone gives their guest two selections! You have to offer them chicken, what if they don't like beef, you have to offer chicken, everyone offers two main meat trays."
"No, we decided that because we would be eating so late, we were only going to offer one selection, roast beef."
"Chappy, you have to offer two choices of meat, your Uncle Tom doesn't like beef, you have to offer chicken."
She totally ignored me. Chappy sat there like a deer in headlights. He already knew we had made this decision and he also knew I was tired of his mother directing the planning of our wedding. He told her again our thought process on the one selection and she stormed out of the door, muttering that she was paying for something and she had no say in the matter, why did we invite her?
I was beginning to ask that same question as a matter of fact. I had been trying to include her so that she felt she was a part of her son's wedding plans, but she was starting to piss me off!
He took off after her and came back a few minutes later. Would I please just consider adding the chicken to the menu. Really? For one person, you want to add a whole frigging chicken to the menu, for one person, who is diabetic and will have to eat long before this meal is served? For ONE PERSON????
That one change added a couple hundred dollars onto our tab and dwindled what money we would have left for a honeymoon. Min came back in after Chappy told her "we" had changed our minds. She was happy as a lark now. We signed the agreements and off we went to lunch.
She sat there gloating and I wanted to skin her alive, but I sat there as we ate lunch, planning my revenge. Chappy was going to hear about this come hell or high water. I was done.
The thoughts that wander through my mind. Some have suggested I write a book. I think I'll blog first
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