I still didn't care about my job, but I'd been there for seven years and was making close to $50,000. I was the bread winner and the State of Michigan's benefit package was almost as competitive as General Motor's.
We lived in Lansing. I had Chappy's name added to the house, in the event some thing happened to me, he wouldn't have to worry. We were married and I wanted him to feel as though this was as much his house as mine. We did some improvements to it after he moved in so he could feel he had time invested in our home as well. We just loved our little house.
But Chappy was never home. He worked in Grand Rapids, so every morning and night he had a commute of one hour each way. He was also in sales, so he spent a lot of after hours entertaining customers. He was out to make a name for himself and I knew it was important, so I didn't say a word about his absence.
In the spring, we took off for a long weekend in Toronto. Chappy wanted to take me to his favorite play, Phantom of the Opera. I simply loved it! We toured Casa Loma. I had always wanted to when Killer and I went to Toronto, but he never thought that would be interesting.
We spent a considerable amount of time at Min and John Boy's. I didn't see much of Chappy during the week except late at night, but Min expected us to come out every weekend or participate in some family function. It was rare that we had a weekend to ourselves.
In early January 1993, we sat out at Min's for a Sunday dinner. I was sitting at the kitchen bar and she was cooking a meal. Chappy and his dad were watching football and Sissy and Wes were not there as we still only visited when we were assured they would not be.
Min had told Chappy to have this conversation with me on our honeymoon. He was not successful and so she was going to have to do the dirty work herself. She informed me that she had "tolerated my shenanigan's" while I was engaged to Chappy, but I had torn her family apart and she was not going to accept this demand of mine that we would not come around if Sissy and Wes were there. I needed to stop playing the victim and move on for the sake of her children. Sissy missed her brother and it was not right of me to forbid the two of them from spending time together.
I spoke up firmly and told Min, I did not forbid Chappy from seeing his sister. He could see her all he wanted, but I would not be a part of any event where Wes was as he was unpredictable when he was drunk and he was drunk all the time. I didn't care for her accusation that I tore the family apart, he was the one that was out of line. She didn't care, I was the one that made the demand that we not be in the same room.
Min was having dinner the next weekend and inviting all of us out and I best get over "my issue" and move past the stage of the victim and on to the next stage. She had already spoke to Chappy and he was on board. I glared over at him watching television. He knew! He knew she was going to confront me and he didn't warn me? He didn't stand up for me? My insides were brewing, just wait until we get in the car. It was going to be a long ride home to Lansing.
We were headed out. Chappy had noticed I had been very quiet after I had sat at the counter talking to his mom. He wondered what we had been talking about as we were very hush, hush. "Nothing that you don't already know about." It was his turn to be silent.
We hadn't been married for more than a year when he came home one day to share his news. He'd been promoted and "we" were moving to Indiana. He never presented an option. We didn't discuss it, just we were moving. My first thought as bad as this sounds was "well, it was nice knowing you." I had no plans to move, but he did.
I told him I needed to stay at the Fund until at least the end of February as there was some active litigation that would determine if I were vested or not in a pension program. His new job started late in the year, we'd figure it out.
I was so torn. I didn't want to move. I'd have to find a new job. I didn't know that I'd find work in insurance which is all I knew. I was thirty three, I had over sixteen years of experience in insurance. I didn't want to leave family. Although they had moved north two hours for six month's of the years, it would now be six hours for me to get there. I didn't want to leave my friends either. Tina Marie and I were both married now so we didn't do much together, but we saw each other every day at work. I didn't want to sell my house. My home. I was so torn.
We went to Indianapolis several weekends to house hunt. How do you find a house in a city that you know nothing about. We spent days looking and found nothing. Chappy was living there in a corporate apartment, but they would only pay so many month's of his rent while we made this transition.
He left every Sunday night and came back late every Friday. It wasn't often, but there were weekends that I would travel down to spend with him, it's just that he was still expected to be home on weekends to spend at Min's.
Min and John Boy helped us move him down there. They had his furniture still from his apartment and took it down for his temporary living quarters. Again, I heard about selling all of his stuff and had I not, he would be able to have all of it now to use. Oh, like I saw this in my future when I had that garage sale.
I had told Chappy I had always wanted a Coach purse, but they were too expensive, so I just admired them from a far. One weekend I had traveled down to house hunt. He told me about this mall, Keystone at the Crossing with all these expensive shops and he had found a Coach store. He took me there and told me to pick out which ever one I wanted. I had really admired the style of this one bag for years and that is the one I selected. He about had a coronary when they rang it up, $249.00 plus tax. As we walked out, he told me he had no idea they were that expensive and he had better never see me carry another bag as long as we lived.
We headed out to Min's one weekend and he wanted me to show his mom my gift. He could have just left it at that. He bought me a purse period. But he had to go on and on about the leather and the price. She couldn't believe that he'd spend that much on a purse, "you certainly are one lucky girl to have that Chappy, John Boy would never spend money like that on me!"
Funny, as I recall our first Christmas, he spent money on you like that. I had bought myself a full leather jacket for my thirtieth birthday, before I even had met Chappy. He loved that coat and I wore it out to his folks several times. Min just admired it so much and so for Christmas that year, we all pitched in to get her a full length leather coat that she never wore as it was too nice.
Now, as she was admiring my new purse, she told Chappy that she'd like one of those for Christmas as well. If he could buy me one, he could buy her one. The next time we went to Indianapolis, we bought her Christmas present. I picked it out.
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| The Family Photo - Christmas 1993 |
She was thrilled when she opened it that Christmas. As we sat at the counter, in what had become a ritual, her cooking and me sitting across the bar on a stool, she smiled, "Wasn't that nice that Chappy bought me a Coach purse too? Now I have one just like you." I couldn't resist it.
"Yes, but mine cost more." The competition was on.
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