Rehearsal - Does Not Prepare you for Life

We were ready to order invitations in the early summer of 1992.  They were very simple.  A classic design that would be timeless.  Chappy and I were older than your traditional bride and groom. We were  announcing our wedding, not our parents, so we chose a different message for the invitation.  

We sat in the bedroom at my home and contemplated the many choices, choosing the perfect one that represented us. But as we started to complete the order form, Chappy had one request, he did not want  me to use the name Henshaw, he wanted me to use my maiden name, Beadle.  Did I just hear his mother's words spew from his mouth? Please tell me that I was having a nightmare and his face was on the body of Min because I know he could not be asking this of me!

"I have already had this discussion with your mother. Did she put you up to this?"

"No, I just don't want Killer's name on our invitations."

"Who are you marrying? Because I think my name is Cindy Marie Henshaw. If you wanted to marry Cindy Marie Beadle, you should have found me sooner,  you know before Vicki and Julie."

"I don't understand what the big deal is? I just don't want Henshaw on the invitation."

"OK, then we won't be getting married. You have to face it, I am a Henshaw by marriage, not blood. You are marrying Cindy Marie."

He just couldn't understand why I refused to accommodate this one request.  ONE request? I had been accommodating several requests. I was standing firm on this one, for cripes sake, it was my name!

Did I ask him to change his name?  I was going to be Cindy Marie Schafer soon.  I didn't ask that we hyphenate my name and use Henshaw-Schafer.  I didn't ask him to take any part of my name.  I was giving up my name for his. Wasn't that enough?

The day was approaching. One of the reasons I wanted to get married on the eleventh was if we wanted to go away for our anniversary, it was the week following Labor Day and we'd use less vacation time for our celebration.  I must have been delusional as Chappy was  never going to be away that week. One, he went on a golfing trip with his buddies from high school the week before Labor Day and two, his mother's birthday might be missed.

She wasn't happy that we were going to be gone for not only her birthday that year, but also who was she going to watch the MSU vs CMU football game with? He assured her, he'd call her through out the day to keep up with the score.  We were going to Aruba. The first day of our honeymoon and he was already planning to  call Momma over a stupid football game!

September 10, 1992, we all gathered at the Church for rehearsal. I have to say the church in Westphalia is beautiful inside and out.  I had asked mom and dad to walk me down the aisle and mother had to throw her nasty two cents in. "How many times do you expect your father to give you away?" She certainly knew how to rain on my parade. But they did, they walked me down the aisle. Had my mom just said, "I am not comfortable walking down the aisle with all those people watching me," I would have understood, but she didn't.  She had to go for the jugular and choke the life out of me.

The Beadle's and A Henshaw

I thought it would be an honor for the two of them.  My Mother raised us.  My Dad worked, but he was also a significant person in my life.  I thought the world of him, but I wanted my mother to give me away as well.

Chappy & Cindy

The rehearsal went off without a hitch.  We went out to dinner at some restaurant afterwards, don't even remember the name of it and then we headed back to Min and John Boy's to play cards.  Grandma Lucy was with us.  Min thought she had a lot of class.  Grandma Lucy always looked very sharp and she loved to clean and respected a person who kept a clean house.  She commented to Min how beautiful her home was and in Min's book, that put Lucille right at the top of her list! 

We played cards and enjoyed our final evening as a couple, still free to run in the other direction if we so desired.  Min took me to the side and once again expressed her concern over my commitment to this marriage and warned me to not break her son's heart. I had less than twenty four hours before Min's party. Would I be at the alter or run for the hills?