Are YOU the Right One?

Labor Day 1991 was here.  I suggested to Chappy that we do some thing for the weekend  before we started bowling the next weekend.  He couldn't go away for the weekend, he was going with his sister to Traverse City to go biking.  His sister was nine years older and very motherly toward him.  I had heard stories of his sister, but had never met any of his family at this point.  She had married for the first time the year before at the age of thirty seven.

Her marriage did not take place in the Catholic church much to her Mother's disappointment.  Sissy was marrying a man from Canada who had previously been married. He had been in the States attending a wedding when they met.  Time had gotten away from them and he had to go back to Canada or get married.  There was no time to go through all the hoops to get his marriage annulled so they were  not able to marry in the church.  This did not make the mother happy, but Sissy wanted to get married, so she followed her heart.

I was in Grand Rapids earlier that summer for a mediation and afterwards met Chappy for dinner.  I drove over to his office and waited for him to finish his day. He didn't live far from work and I was surprised that after all the times he had been to my home, he didn't want to take me to his apartment. We had known each other for a year now. What was it that I could not put my finger on? My gut was talking to me, but the message was murky.

In the summer of 1991, I had tickets to go see David Brenner.  I just loved his comedy act and Chappy was going to go with me. I had been to the doctor that day and a lump had been discovered in my breast.  They wanted to do an biopsy and I was afraid of the results as any woman would be.  I shared this  news with Chappy and we didn't go to the show, we ended up on the campus of Michigan State University talking about my fears and he assured me every thing would be OK.  I hate to cry in front of people, but there are some days that life overwhelms you and this was one of them.  He told me as tears ran down my face, mascara dripping down my cheeks that I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.  I knew then he was a liar. What woman looks attractive with crocodile tears and black mascara dripping like candle wax over her cheekbones? Later he told me  he saw this strong woman before him that had a soft spot and he fell in love with me that night.  I didn't know this for some time as he was too afraid to share his feelings for me.

October 11, 1991, Chappy finally decides it is time for me to meet his family. He had already met my parents.  They were visiting in the summer of 1991 and Chappy took me to my first Tigers Baseball game. My Mother, as usual, found every thing wrong with him, after he said hello and spoke to them for twenty minutes. I told her that day, "He is the one.  I can feel it in my heart." Yet I still had so many unanswered questions about this mystery man. And I too, had not shared with him my feelings as there still was this side to him that I was so unsure of.

We went out to his parents home, It was a Sunday and his mom made us all dinner. When I was introduced to her, she responded, "So this is the Cindy Marie that I have been hearing all about lately." I was surprised that Chappy had even mentioned me to  his mom as he had this side to him that was closed off, a door that contained all his secrets, but dead bolted from others on the outside looking in.

We had a nice visit.  Min (his mom) interrogated me about my life, my past, my marriage, you name it, nothing was sacred.  I was waiting for her to ask me if I was fornicating with her son, but she thought her Chappy was the cat's meow.  I doubt she had excepted at twenty eight he had lost his virginity.  I could see no woman was going to be good enough for her little Chappy.

Thanksgiving was spent at his folks house, but Christmas, I always went to Florida for two weeks. Tina Marie and I headed down for the holidays.  I missed him.  We wrote letters back and forth to each other non stop about every thing under the sun,  but there was still this uneasiness lurking within that I  had to find the answer to.

When I came home, we went to a movie and had dinner at Bennigan's in Okemos.  I remember Killer telling me that he had picked a woman up at this restaurant one New Years, before Personal Shopper was in the picture.  This woman had been slightly inebriated and Killer had taken her home with him, bragging to me how he had "screwed her" and then dropped her back off in the parking lot to find her way home.  I didn't doubt his story, he had no respect for women, but that story played through  my head as we sat in the restaurant that this apparently happened. It seemed years ago to me, but it wasn't that long ago.

Chappy had an important question for me.  He confessed that he had had feelings for me but he had to know something.  I had led him to believe that I had no interest in ever remarrying so he needed to know, "Would you ever consider marriage again?"

My response was very simple. "Yes, if the right man came along, I might."

"How would you know?"

"I just would.  I can't explain it, but I just know inside when it is right."

He asked if I thought he would be a "fit" for the right man and I smiled, "there is a possibility."

He was full of questions about my former marriage.  Would I consider getting it annulled? Would I go with him to see the Priest to see what needed to be done to annul the marriage.  He hadn't asked me yet to marry him, but he was not going to disappoint his mom by marrying some one who could not be married in the Catholic church.  I agreed, I would go with him, so he made arrangements for us to meet the Priest at his church in Grand Rapids.  I am sure he didn't want to meet the Priest in Westphalia as any movement in that little community traveled like wild fire among the residents and he did not want his mom to know what he was considering.