Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned

I didn't have to  make many adjustments once Chappy left. I was used to him not being there.  What I missed were the times that he had been.  Friday nights were very difficult as they were always the night he came home and we went to dinner and a movie. We had kept this charade up until late July and one Friday, I just went to the movie before he came home, alone.  

As I pulled out of the theater, I saw him pull in a lone. And when he came home, I didn't ask where he had been, I knew. But it struck me odd that we still continued to follow the same routine. What bothered me was going out alone and seeing other happy couples.  It had not bothered me before, but I was no longer part of a couple.  I think that is what bothered me the most.  I was going to have to redefine who I was.  I had been alone, but I had always been a part of a couple.  There had been a comfort in knowing there was some one there, even if not all the time.

I stopped going to therapy. I got what I needed from it. To know I wasn't crazy, I was married to a man and family that made me crazy. I had lost my identity being married to Chappy. I am funny, very funny.  Many think I should do stand up comedy,  but every time I would say some thing funny, Min would say I was "a nasty girl." I was walking on eggshells to not upset the apple cart when his whole family was around.  I didn't want to do some  thing that Min did not approve of and have Jack hear about it from his mom and in turn hear about it from him. 

While I was sad that it was ending and still did not have a clue why, besides he had invited someone to the  marriage that had not been at the alter the day we took our vows, I was happy that I could do what I wanted.  I could spend Christmas with my parents.  It had been nine years since I had spent the holiday with them. I could live without the fear of moving every time I unpacked the last box.  And I no longer had to explain why Chappy was never with me when I visited people. It is hard to explain why your husband never is with you because he'd rather be with his mom.

My cousin, Jackie had met Chappy when we got married.  One of the last times we had driven to Michigan, I told him I wanted to stop and see her on my way home.  She lived in Marshall and it was just off the highway.  She had been down to our home in Fishers, but Chappy was always gone the weekends she came.

When I told her we were separated, she said, "Hmm, I met him coming in and I saw him going out, but I never saw him in between." That pretty much summed it up.  He didn't want to stop and he was inpatient when we did. Yet I was supposed to act like I was over the moon when we stopped to visit his family.

He had been gone for six weeks.  We had not spoken to one another, nor seen each other. I guess that whole spiel of working on the marriage while having a trial separation was just another lie.  Especially since he served me so soon afterwards.  It bothered me that he lied and I had to wonder many times if our whole marriage was a lie. He just had a hard time with the truth, from day one. I just didn't want to see it for what it was worth.

At six weeks we had our first divorce pre-hearing. It was in downtown Atlanta at the Fulton County Court House.  I was to meet my attorney in the lobby at one thirty in the afternoon for a two o'clock hearing. I was dressed to kill! 

I was as thin as a rail. I think I weighed more coming out of my mother's womb than I did that day! I was loving this life of manicures and pedicures, groomed dogs and elegant fashions! I wore it so well on the outside, but inside I was shredded guts and nerves!

I was waiting in the lobby for Mr. King to discuss our plan of action when I saw Chappy walking toward me in this marble clad atrium.  I couldn't believe he was walking toward me!  There was no one else in the area.

He came up to me and it was just so natural, we hugged and kissed.  Like nothing was wrong between us, two lovers meeting for lunch, not headed to divorce court!

He told me I was beautiful.  He said he had just flown in from Boston last night and he did not want to be "there."  

"I always thought Sissy was so weak when she went through this. I didn't think it would be so hard.  I just don't want to be here  today."

"I had told you it wasn't easy."

"You know I still love you.  I've missed you.  I just can't get over how beautiful you look."

"I've always been beautiful, you just stopped looking at me." Tears welled in both of our eyes as we stood there holding hands and speaking from our  hearts.  "We don't have to do this you know, we can call it off, sell the house, move to Boston together."

"I know, but I have to do it now."

"Why?  You just said that this was hard, you still loved me and missed me, we can work through whatever problems we may have, you just have to talk to me."

"It's almost two, why are you in the lobby?"

"I'm supposed to meet my attorney down here. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go."

"I know. Come on we'll go up together."  We turned toward the elevator, holding hands, walking towards the room that would dissolve this  union.   The elevator doors opened, Chappy let me in first and as we stood there, he leaned over and kissed me. I started to cry and as we got off the elevator, we stood in the hall and held on to each other, tears streaming down both of our cheeks.

A woman came up to us and interrupted this final moment before we had to go in to the meeting room.  She pulled on Chappy's elbow, "Mr. Schafer, this way, we are about to start." It was Chappy's attorney. "Mrs Schafer, Mr. King is delayed and will be here shortly, you can wait in here."

As Chappy walked away he looked me in the eye, "I love you, never forget that." And I fell apart. They closed the door and left me there.  Where the hell was my attorney!  He walked in a few minutes later apologizing for being late.

"Are you OK?" He handed me a box of Kleenex.

"No, I'm not!" I proceeded to tell him what had happened and had he been on time, I wouldn't have had to experience that.  "How can he tell me  he loves me and then head off with his attorney to discuss divorce in front of the Judge?"  I could not stop crying and I was shaking.

"They do that to weaken you.  Don't buy into it. Now wipe your tears and let's go in there with our head up high."

I walked into the room, head up, but my eyes were filled with tears.  Chappy and his attorney sat on one side of the table and we headed to the other side. I looked across at Chappy, his eyes were dry, but you could still see the emotion hanging in them.  We sat there looking at each other across the table and then the hearing began.

My attorney informed the Judge that Mr. Schafer had approached his client before the hearing and had said inappropriate things to stir my emotions, so "please excuse Mrs. Schafer if she appears to be a little emotional. I would ask from this point on, Mr. Schafer  not come within five hundred feet of  my client unless I am present."

Where did this come from?  The emotion that loomed in Chappy's eyes, disappeared and anger arose as he sat there and glared at me! His whole demeanor changed before my eyes and I still sat there, this beautiful glob of pitiful.

Nothing was accomplished.  The attorney's were still waiting for documents to be filed and discovery to be provided by Mr. Schafer. We agreed to mediate instead of having a hearing, mediation was set for the first part of December.

Mr. King advised the Judge that he would appreciate if Mr. Schafer would vacate the building immediately so that I could leave the building without being approached again.  Mr. Schafer was advised once more to have no contact with me unless my attorney was present.

A few minutes later, Mr. King walked me to my car. He told me that Chappy's attorney had not responded to  his interrogatories and the due date had passed, but he was confident once those documents were secured, I'd feel differently about what Mr. Schafer had to say today.

I guess when you do this for a living, you see the same thing over and over, for the next day, Mr. King called and asked if I could come to his office. The responses to the interrogatories had just been received and he wanted to go over them with me. 

I arrived at his office and sat down. I wasn't expecting much, perhaps because I was still in denial. Perhaps, I wanted to believe him when he told me he loved me, perhaps I still had hope.  Mr. King opened the folder and provided me with a copy of telephone records, credit card receipts, emails, stock options, stocks, bank statements, any thing that could be construed as a paper trail, laid there in front of me, for me to examine.  Mr. King pointed out just a few minor things, and my world changed.

When you are spiraling down a deep dark hole, sooner or later you will hit bottom.  You make a choice, you hit it hard and stay there, or you hit it like a trampoline and you come out of the dark with a vengeance. You are ready to take names and kick ass.

I looked at those documents and I hit the bottom, that son of a bitch was going to pay and he'd be shelling out more than the dimes I promised him I'd be taking if he ever screwed around on me.