Women are Not Supportive of their Own Kind

Over the years, I have discovered a man and woman handle the stress of life very different. This is a generalization from observation, not a scientific synopsis.

Men who are submissive at home with the wife, are domineering in the work environment. Women who are docile at home, are docile where ever they roam.

If a man's home environment is stressed with demands of marriage or he is not content, he becomes a bit of a workaholic and pours himself into his work. In the eyes of society this is acceptable as he is working hard to "provide." And again, some times he works and pours himself into some thing else. Just saying.

A woman who is not happy at home or wants to succeed and has to work harder to prove herself, is considered a ball buster. I chose to pour myself in to my job after this incident with the Green eyed monsters.

I had a new job that I thought I might actually enjoy. There was the promise of a managerial position once I finished training all the new staff members. I actually enjoyed training. But from my experience with training in the past, as a participant, it could be very boring, so my methods were a bit more unconventional at times. People who are jealous, will take those unconventional ways and rat you out in a nano second. I believe if you are effective, it doesn't matter how you teach the subject.

As well, jealousy can fester in a women when they see another getting more attention, or they feel they are getting more attention.  A jealous woman is the worst breed to break no matter whether she is jealous of another woman or a man.

Another lesson was learned. Do not trust your peers, subordinates or management. Words are just that. Words. Knives can be inserted and twisted while the villain is looking you straight in the eye, smiling, telling you what a great job you are doing.

I introduce, my nemesis. Her name was Julie. She was an attorney who chose to leave the legal department and join the claims department as a supervisor. This occurred before I was hired at the Accident Fund (AF). She was 4'11 if she told you she was 5'2. Her frame resembled a triangle. She had two bi-racial children, but unlike most mothers, she did not display pictures of her children in her office.

She was very friendly with the manager of the department with whom I had interviewed with. He was her boss. My first day on the job, she volunteered to take me around and introduce me to the staff before I was to begin my training sessions with my first group of students.

She was very engaging and friendly. She reminded me of a childhood friend of my cousins who was about her height, slim built and very entertaining. I so admired this young woman who had been friends with my cousin that I took her to school one day as my show and tell project.

I sensed Julie had to work at this "friendly" facade she was displaying, but what did I know, I had just met her minutes ago. Over the course of a year or two, while training, she would plant seeds in the staff who were either promoted by her or were going to report to her. She wanted information on what I was teaching and it was very simple to figure out where the rat sat in my class.

I am not aggressive in nature at all. I am rather laid back but will assert myself if I have to. On the Myers Briggs scale which is a personality inventory of your psychological preferences on how you perceive the world and make decisions, I test out as an introvert, making decisions based on my feelings and senses.

Some of you who know me might scratch your head on that introvert category, but in my comfort zone, that is where I stand. I work very hard at being an extrovert. So knowing how I perceive the world and others, you will understand also how I make decisions and handle situations presented to me. I am 99% of the time right on target as I have this innate ability to weed through baloney and determine just who I am dealing with.

I sensed that Julie, although an attorney through schooling, was insecure on many levels. I just wasn't sure how many levels we were talking about. To spend years in school to become an attorney and move from the legal department where you practiced your art to the claims department to supervise claims staff is a step down. Many adjusters work towards being attorneys, but it is rare you see a licensed attorney work claims.

Her insecurities started to reveal themselves that first day, although I was too naive to recognize them. I  had forgotten what I wore to work that first day, but six years later, as a group of us sat chatting about the good ole days, several commented on what an impression I made the first day I strolled into the office.  I was curious as to what they were talking about.  I had experienced several first days on the job, but what happened that they each remembered mine so long ago.

It was the way I dressed, walked  and carried myself. I wore creme colored pants, creme colored turtleneck with a tan design. I had on creme colored boots that blended into my pant leg, a tan and creme colored white checked suit coat with a creme colored cape as my overcoat.  I wore a creme and tan colored wide brim hate and a blue, tan and creme colored scarf worn over my right shoulder secured with a pin to my suit coat. Multiply pearl necklaces and enough flash on my hand that created flashes similar to a mirrored disco ball on the ceiling.

I had to chuckle that they could remember exactly what I wore that first day six years prior down to the jewelry. They said I walked in the office and down through the cubicles like I owned the place and as I walked by each cubicle, heads peered out of their cubicles to see who had just walked by.  This authoritative figure that had not been seen before. I had walked by Julie's office unbeknownst to me.

She came out of her office when she heard all the whispering, "who is that?" She made it her mission to find out as she walked down the hall to volunteer to introduce me around. The pieces of the puzzle started falling into place at that  moment as to why she would go out of her way to make my existence so difficult.  She had been a woman that staff turned to due to her title and education.  Her own boss admired her and thought highly of her because she was an attorney, but titles do not represent the person who carries them.

Over a course of a year to eighteen months while I trained staff in both Lansing and Southfield, she had her finger in my business.  I taught this course on the Statute in Michigan.  I followed Chapter three of the Workers Compensation Act to a tee, as this was the chapter that outlined what an injured worker was entitled to and how you administered those benefits. It is important as an adjuster when you are challenged to know exactly where it is written in the law so you can support your decision.  Many things are changed over time due to case law, so you need to be aware of that as well.

Julie had promoted her secretary during one of these  mass hiring.  She as well had an insecurity problem, but she also did not mind reporting back to Julie what I said in the class.  Mary had been a support person so she was some what familiar with bits and pieces of the Act, but not in depth.

One particular day I presented a topic and shortly after offered a break to those in the class.  Those who had been promoted, rushed back to their desk to deal with returning calls or other issues. I wonder if Mary twisted an ankle getting back to Julie over the discussion that morning on a specific topic.

By lunch I was called into  my boss's office who also happened to be Julie's boss.  Roger who had many years in the business questioned me about my teachings that morning.  There is nothing more frustrating than having to defend your self to some one because someone ratted you out and didn't have all the facts nor perhaps take copious notes like others.

He challenged me as to why I would teach them to handle a claim this way as the law stated it should be this way.  I in turn, challenged him and referenced the Statute and where it was noted.  Julie had told him that I was wrong and taking her word for it, he confronted me.  I suggested he contact head counsel in our legal department to confirm if what I was in fact teaching was correct.  He assured me he would and he'd be back in touch.

That evening as I was preparing to leave the office, Roger called me in his.  He had spoken to head counsel and I was right. He did not apologize for reaming me a new one and questioning my knowledge on a topic that I knew inside and out.  But the news didn't take long to get back to Julie that she was incorrect in what she had been telling her staff when confronted with this same issue.

This didn't happen once, it happened several times and we continued to do the same dance with head counsel always siding with me.  I wondered how long this would continue.  

Curiosity had the best of me.   I did not know the people in this class room, so I would plant a seed and follow the trail to the root of all evil, Julie.

Over time I was in charge of training all staff on many topics from  medical terminology to a fee schedule and coding of medical bills which I had no clue about as it was just introduced  as new legislation.

About this time, office supply stores started carrying note pads that came in colors besides white and yellow.  I love things that are different.  I bought a note pad that was a light lavender color. Within a few days I'd be training over twenty six adjusters on this topic of fee schedules.  I had taught myself, trained my self and prepared to present this topic flawlessly.  My notes neatly printed on my new lavender note paper.

I did not coordinate this. I just like shades of purple, but I wore a lavender suit that day, with my lavender note book held in my hand to assure I covered all bases of this new topic.

Julie entered the back of the room as I was in the midst of my presentation.  Things were going very well.  Most of these employees were in front of me for the first time and I had to gain their trust and respect as someone who knew the topic they were presenting.

Julie asked me some off the wall question that had nothing to do with what I was presenting. She was trying to throw me under the bus and discredit me.  She was trying to frustrate  me with hopes of seeing me crumble.  She had no idea who she was dealing with.  She lashed out with one final blow, that apparently being coordinated from head to toe down to my note book made me feel I was knowledgeable and versed in a topic I was not familiar with.

I had answered her questions correctly. I had presented this new topic well informed and at a level that all employees could understand.  I did not talk over some ones head boosting my own ego.  I was there to teach and as a teacher, you need to  know who your students are and how they will grasp the topic you present.

In this moment, as she stood in the back of this room, I could sense that all eyes were darting between the two of us to see who would be left standing. Julie always looked frumpy.  Instead of buying petite clothing and having the arms and legs shortened as they were too long, she walked around looking like a little girl playing dress up with from her  mother's closet.  

How dare she walk into this room and challenge me in front of staff.  I had already proven to her that I was knowledgeable more than once. Some days my brain engages my mouth without a filter to lessen the blow of my words.

I had been trained by the best, she probably didn't know that.  I stood just as tall as I could, with a big smile on my face and just as clear and distinct as I could speak, I responded to her snide remark about my knowledge or lack of was overshadowed by my appearance. How dare she say that because I was dressed nice and my note book matched my suit, that I couldn't have a brain between the curls on my head.

"Julie, yes, dressing the way that I do, does make me feel knowledgeable and superior to people like you.  Perhaps you should try it." And without skipping a beat, continued to teach my class.

She walked out of the room without another word.  I wondered how long it would be before I was called into Roger's  office to reprimand me on being a tad unprofessional, but as the door closed, the room exploded in laughter and cheers.  For they at one time or another had felt the wrath of Julie but feared her because of her title and connections.

She didn't leave me alone, but she did back off a bit.  A couple years later, as the Accident Fund was making the transition to privately owned, she was released from her position, after Roger had been let go as well.  

Lesson two.  Just because someone is above you on the ladder, doesn't mean they won't fall.  Try  not to let them hit you and take you down with them.