The Glory of Love

Mr. & Mrs Schafer

I had taken the week off prior to our wedding. My parents had come down to spend the week.  Chappy was living at his parent's house. He worked in Grand Rapids so it was a shorter commute for him and perhaps I just needed time to myself.

I didn't do anything out of the ordinary that week.  I didn't do "pamper" treatments like most brides do these days.  I did my own manicure, pedicure, hair and makeup, just like it was any other day. I packed for our honeymoon.

Grandma & Cindy

Our reception would end no later than 11:30 PM and we were going to drive to Detroit as our flight took off early on Saturday morning for Aruba. I was excited. Excited about marrying Chappy and leaving for our honeymoon.

I truly loved this man even though he challenged me with his desire to please his mother, I truly loved  him.  My grandmother gave me words of wisdom after I had divorced Killer.  She would know as she had her share of husbands over the years, "Always marry someone who loves you  more than you love them, and you'll always be happy." Looking back on those words, years later, she was correct.

Min and Cindy

Our Wedding Party

The morning of the wedding, I did my nails and sat around and talked to my mom about nothing important.  We had to be at the church around three or four and we were picking up Grandma.  Her husband, Joe had taken ill that day and wasn't able to make it.  It was a blessing in disguise. I never cared for her husband so I was fine with him not attending. I'm pretty sure he didn't care for me and his "illness" was just an excuse.

My Parents

I sat in the back of my parent's car as we took the thirty minute drive to Westphalia.  I was always in charge of everything and here my parents were driving me to my wedding.  As we drove out, I looked out the window and reflected upon my life so far. I was thirty two and a half, Chappy had just turned twenty nine.  This was going to be the day that my life changed. I could only pray it would be for the best.

As we entered the church, the dressing room for the bride was just off to the left as you came in the front doors.  Chappy had delivered a dozen roses and placed them on the table with a lovely note expressing his love for me and how excited he was to have me for his wife.  I did my makeup.  Lisa, my brides maid, did my eyes.  I wasn't one to wear eye shadows, but I guess this was a special day.  I got into my gown and I could hear everyone entering the church. I wanted to see what was going on, but tradition was the bride was not to be seen.  I missed a lot standing behind that door, listening to everyone enter, but perhaps I'd hear the stories later.

It was getting down to the moment that I had to make my appearance.  I had feared I would cry like I did when I married Killer.  I didn't want to cry and I sure didn't want mascara all over my face as we had pictures to be taken after the ceremony.  I bought water proof mascara. Best invention ever!

A Special Moment Shared

Every one was lining up.  All I had to do was put on my lipstick and start the journey to my new life.  Mom came in at the last minute.  All the girls were in line.  She wanted one more look at her daughter and in a rare moment between us, she said, "You look so beautiful." We both teared up and the Priest entered the door.

"Enough of this, we have a wedding to get to."  I just wanted to savor that one moment with my mom. I had had so few where she actually said some thing nice to me.  I asked him if he'd take a picture of us, one more, just before I headed out.

As we stood at the back of the church, before they opened the doors for me to walk down, I remembered how I felt the day I married Killer.  There was no aisle to walk down, we just gathered in the basement of the church, piped in organ music and we said our vows.  As I stood there listening to the minister, I thought, "this is is, the rest of my life, is this what I really want?" but it was too late. I was there,  in front of Killer.

I still had to walk down the aisle and it was a long aisle at that.  I told Mom and Dad that I wanted to change one thing.  They had told us how to walk down the aisle the night before, one step, feet together, one step, feet together.  I wanted one step, feet together, hold, one step, feet together, hold.  I was going to be sure when I got to that alter, I was positive that was where I wanted to be. Later people commented on how long it took me to get down the aisle, but I had a lot of thinking to do and was in no hurry to get there just yet.

There was no doubt in my mind, Chappy loved me.  There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him.  But the doubt lingered as to whether I could accept that I was marrying a momma's boy. My own parents did not intrude on my every movement and thought, was I going to be able to live with a woman who insisted on having her way all the time and a man who allowed her to?

Cindy Marie

I made it to the alter and the ceremony was beautiful. I didn't even shed a tear, so I thought maybe this was alright with me inside.  We had changed the program just a bit without anyone knowing as it would have been forbidden had we warned anyone.  As we left the church, after they announced us man and wife, Bette Midler's song, Glory of Love rang through the church's organ.

You've got to give a little, take a little,

And let your poor heart break a little.

That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,

Until the clouds roll by a little.

That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

As long as there's the two of us,

We've got the world and all it's charms.

And when the world is through with us,

We've got each others arms.

You've got to win a little, lose a little,

Yes, and always have the blues a little.

That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

That's the story of, that's the glory of love