Well apparently in 1733 he was a General who landed his ship on uncharted land and named it after England's King George II. Georgia became the thirteenth colony and Savannah became its first city. So, there you go, I have been officially invited to join those who make things happen at Crawford to attend a Ball in honor of James Oglethorpe who I am sure strategically landed his ship two hundred and sixty six years ago on the banks of the Savannah River and discovered the homeland of so many of those good ole boys that we would be attending this Ball with.
I literally had nothing to wear. I know you hear this spew from women's mouth all the time as they peer in to a closet, eyes glazed over with confusion, staring at masses of clothing, some with the tags still dangling from the armpit, but I had packed up all my clothes and they were in storage. I only had casual clothes, who expected I'd be invited to a Ball?
Chappy, God love a man who is so naive as to think in twenty four hours, of which I'd be required to sleep as well, a woman could pull of the preparation for such a grand gala! First, I had to find a dress. This was not an event that I could wear Docker's and a "pretty" blouse, it was a Ball that required Chappy to rent a tux.
Men have it so easy. Walk into a store, get measured, walk back in the store the next day and they have every thing packaged up for them to include the tux,shirt, tie, shoes and socks. I am surprised they don't throw in matching boxers for an extra $9.95 to keep as a memento of your special evening. They wear it one evening and return it the next. What is there to worry about? It is so easy. Within 30 minutes you have conquered what may take women weeks to accomplish. And men don't have to worry about whether someone has seen them in this tux before, it's a tux for cripes sake!
"Oh look at Chappy, poor thing, didn't he wear that tux to the Christmas event in 1994 and 1996?"
"Oh girl, I heard he even had to wear it at his wedding!"
Nope, shopping for Ball wear is very simple for men. Get invited one day, stop at the tux shop on your lunch hour, pick it up the next day and you are good to go.
Women? We do not have one stop shopping for our black tie events or even an event so grand as our wedding. We have to find the perfect dress, shoes, jewelry, hosiery and depending on the dress, we may have to buy the proper foundation to firm up every thing under that evening gown that is suppose to make us feel like Cinderella and not the ugly step sister.
We have to get our nails done, maybe even a pedicure depending on what shoe we have selected and some have to have their hair styled. It is an event just to get ready for the event!
I told Chappy I didn't have anything to wear,everything was in storage. Again, Men, you have to love how naive they can be. "Go out and buy some thing." Duh? That's the problem Chappo, you just don't go out and "buy some thing" an hour before the Ball!
I explained my dilemma to him. First, I have a difficult time paying full price for any thing and I'd have to pay full price for a dress to wear to this event. Second, I am tall, long legs and long arms so finding some thing that is long enough is always an issue. But my biggest problem was shoes!
I wear a size 11 and you just didn't go in to a shoe store, find your Cinderella slipper and tell the clerk to box up a size 11, it was rare that you could find them and a shoe that would be considered evening wear, near impossible!
I did not want to go spend all this money on things I already had in storage, but Chappy didn't care, we had to go and so "get whatever you need."
Most women who were given that directive would have a field day. I still had a hard time buying what ever I needed. I wasn't even sure where to shop so I headed to the Mall. I am still sensible given this open checkbook that I've been blessed with. I went to J C Penney's. Not one dress that would be suitable for a Ball. I tried Rich's and again, nothing, so I headed to Nordstrom's. On a day that I was in my right mind, Nordstroms would never even cross my mind. I wouldn't even walk in to the store. First, I shop clearance racks and Nordstrom's does not have clearance racks, they have "Reduced" racks. Their reduced? Still not clearance in my book on shopping frugally.
Reduced. What does that mean? Reduced from the overly priced crap that you bought last week? Do they have "Slightly Reduced," Reduced," "Significantly Reduced" and "If you are buying this, no one in there right mind would be seen wearing it Reduced" Clearance is clearance and there was not one thing on the Reduced rack for me to wear.
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| Years later Tanya wears my Oglethorpe Dress |
My conscience was saying, "Are you crazy, you expect me to pay full price for this?" But I found a dress, very simple, yet elegant. It was not floor length, but it was all I could find. Years later, I gave the dress to my friend, Tanya and she wore it to a Christmas function we attended. She looked stunning in it!
Still delirious over the headiness one experiences from buying full price, I headed out in search of the slipper that Cinderella was expected to wear to this Ball. If I could find a size 11 in an evening shoe, black with some rhinestones, someone had better name a Ball after me because this was going to be a near impossible mission.
I found every thing I needed. Dress, shoes, jewelry, evening bag, foundations, nylons, I was ready to be the Belle of the Ball! Chappy and I needed haircuts, but we had not established ourselves with any stylist just yet and it was late Thursday night. I suggested we go to J C Penney's. We were at the mall, they were open until 9 and they took walk ins.
We headed over and with our luck, they could fit us in before closing. Chappy took off with one girl and I with another. I didn't have my contacts in that evening, so I took my glasses off as she cut my hair. She was babbling on and on about nothing and I felt like she was taking forever to cut my hair. Chappy was done and came over to sit in the booth next to me. He was watching this woman cut my hair and didn't say a thing. She spun me around towards him for his approval, like a man, he knew to say it looked nice and then she swirled me around to the mirror handing me my spectacles.
I looked in the mirror and almost wanted to cry. I didn't have any hair left! She had cut it so short! It looked like I had shaved my head with clippers using a number eight clipper guide. I wanted to melt into that chair. All the natural curl was cut out, there was nothing to style.
Chappy was snickering on the way out as he knew when she swirled me around for his approval that I was going to gasp when I saw the end results. The next day he went to work. I picked up his tux. Had my first manicure. Sky's the limit! I wasn't doing my own nails, for cripes sake, I was going to a Ball! Cinderella didn't do her own nails, the mice did and I was going to pamper myself for one day.
That evening, I removed my dress from the bag and it was a little wrinkled so I took out the ironing board and iron conveniently provided by the apartment complex. I set the iron on low heat and gently applied it to my dress. I don't even think the bed of the iron hit the material and I could smell a slight singe. I had now just placed an imprint of the iron on to the front of this dress, toward the bottom. I was sick! It wasn't noticeable to the eye in a dark room or even in a room with dim lights, but I knew it was there and I was sure every one would notice it as well.
We took off for the Ball and entered the large ball room, finding the group we were to sit with that evening. There were five couples and we stood in a large circle as we were being introduced. I looked directly across from where I stood and lo and behold, the woman was wearing my exact dress only hers was floor length. Women notice this stuff. As we were introduced, I shook her hand and complimented her on the fine taste she had in clothing. She snickered and said she'd talk to me later.
We sat at the same table. Chappy sat next to me and apparently does not have the skills required to listen to many conversations taking place at once while engaged in your own conversation. This woman was from Canada. She had the same experience as I had trying to find the perfect gown. I told her that she looked stunning and that she had to have paid much more than I did, as she was able to afford the full length and I was only able to afford the knee length.
She was sure if she found it in Canada, it would not be in the States and so she wasn't worried that someone might have on her same gown. We had a great chuckle over it as women fear going to these events and finding someone in the same dress as they have on or being noticed that you've worn the same dress again to a different function.
I was just recovering from the shock of seeing this woman in my dress when Chappy opened his trap and said rather loudly, "Cin, look!, you two have the same dress on!" Now, everyone knew. Perhaps they had noticed but they had been kind to not announce it to the world, but Chappy had to throw it on the table for discussion. I could have ripped his vocal cords out and I should have as later in the evening he opened his mouth once more and inserted his second foot. I was surprised he could even walk out of the facility that night with both feet firmly planted in his mouth.
After the Ball we headed to the lounge area to sit and visit with everyone. Chappy was busy chatting up "Bunny," a beautiful bride of one of the Senior Vice Presidents. They sat across the area where we were seated having a drink.
I was watching him as he whispered and laughed, pointing in my direction. What was he up to? It didn't take long to discover he was talking to Bunny about his bride.
"Hey Cin, guess who Bunny thinks you look like?" laughing as he announced it once again to the world, "Sigourney Weaver in Aliens! Hair and all!" I wanted to kill that man, but I let him live one more hour.
We were headed home and again I was very quite. "What's wrong Boo, didn't you have a nice evening."
"Wonderful. Did you not notice when I was introduce to that woman that we had the same dress on? Did you have to announce it so the whole room could hear?"
"What's wrong? I thought it was funny given the fact that you were sweating bullets over this same thing, you even said, you didn't want to wear some thing that someone else might have on and (laughing) you did! What are the chances of that?"
"You couldn't let it go though, you had to sit there and make fun of this haircut that you know I am devastated over! Sigourney Weaver in Aliens? Really Chappy? And then announce it to the world to hear once again!"
"Boo, you are off base. Bunny told me that my wife was beautiful and she said you looked like a movie star. She couldn't figure out who and then it came to her, Sigourney Weaver. I told her a lot of people thought that but tonight, you looked like her in Aliens, you know with the short hair."
"Yeah, I get your joke, but again, you knew how much this bothered me and you had to bring it up and announce it so everyone would notice. Can't you just once saying some thing that is nice, oh, like, Thank you for saying my wife is so beautiful, I think so too and leave Aliens out of it."
He thought I was being overly sensitive. I can't imagine how he would have felt years earlier if I had brought to people's attention that he sweated profusely to the point that his shirts were drenched if he had to wear a suit coat and that he was conscious of his chest and his tiny man boobs. I never brought this up or pointed it out. I knew it bothered him and I found some thing to help him with the sweating, but how inconsiderate to throw your wife under the bus when you knew these things were a delicate subject for her.
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