You Need to Make Her Whole Again

We walked back into the room.  The Mediator sat there for a minute than turned to Chappy, "Mr. Schafer,  I have been doing this for many years and there is one constant that I can count on.  That men like you continually walk through those doors and the story remains the same.  They marry a woman who was good enough for them until they started earning six figures, than that woman who stood by them for all of those years, doesn't look as beautiful as the young girl that is flirting with him, because she has her eye on the wallet nothing more, but every time, men fall for it and they walk away from a woman who would have given them the world on a platter.  You don't understand this, but we'll see the same men coming through that door, as they never learn."

He sat there with a smirk on his face, cocky, as if he held all the cards. She didn't care, she continued, "The women that they marry hold on to hope.  I understand from talking with Mrs. Schafer that the last time the two of you were here, you told her to never forget how much you loved her, yet here we are today, the two of you have grown apart or so you say. Mrs. Schafer has been shattered by this news and you have moved on."

He started to say some thing, but she cut him off. "Mr. Schafer, we heard your story, now it is my turn. There is no denying that you have betrayed your wife and according to you, only because you grew apart.  I did not hear you  mention that you tried to resolve that issue with Mrs. Schafer, in fact up to today, she had no idea of the whys. What I see, is that you found some thing that you think is shinier and you decided to follow that.  I have a better understanding of couples that appear before me that have exhausted every avenue to save their marriage and they have grown apart, but you never gave it a chance.  It is rare that I find those couples though earning six figures collectively, let alone just one of them.  So that sets you into a whole other class, you feel entitled."

Wow! I sat there and listened to her just lay it out there, she was not buying his story at all. He did not like being spoken to in the manner in which she was addressing him and I was loving every minute of it.

"For a man that is thirty-seven years old, you've accomplished a great deal, but you have so much more to learn about life.  One is you are not entitled to treat women the way that you do and two, as you have experienced, those who rise, will fall, how hard they fall depends upon their integrity."

I sat there listening to her, wishing Min  were sitting next to Chappy instead of his attorney.  I knew Min would interrupt and try to get her two cents in to defend her son, but how I would have loved to have Min see her son dressed down. "Mr. Schafer, what I have not seen in this room, is a woman as strong as Mrs. Schafer.  She came to this hearing prepared as you have witnessed. I have never had a woman present her own case without emotions taking over and her unable to at times even speak.  That is why I cautioned Mrs. Schafer earlier. The women who sit in that chair that she is in, hold on to hope and they cave in.  I can not help them if they agree to accepting less than what they are entitled to, but Mrs. Schafer, she is not one of those women."

I can't believe I was able to sit there and not shed a tear.  I was void of all emotion.  I actually didn't even hate him, I just felt sorry for what he had allowed to come between us.

"I generally leave the hearing with assignments, both parties scheduling to come back to discuss the division of property, but Mrs. Schafer had prepared for that as well."

My attorney looked at me. He did not know that I had written up my demands. I had not shared them with him.

"I have asked my clerk to make a copy of Mrs. Schafer's demands.  They seem very reasonable and I would encourage you to consider every thing  she has on here.  I am confident your attorney will inform you, given the facts that were presented today, your chances to secure more,  in front of a Judge may not be as lucrative as what  you may work out now with Mrs. Schafer. If you are not able to come to an agreement on the terms she has presented, the two of you may come back here, or you may pursue this in the court room. Do you understand what I have said to you today?"

He didn't hesitate, the tone of voice filled with anger, "Yes."

"Mr. Schafer, I will leave on this note, you were the cause of Mrs. Schafer's depression that you presented as a weakness of hers.  I do not see weakness in her.  You shattered her.  I recommend that you meet her demands and make her whole again." She rose from her chair, nodding at Chappy's attorney and turned to me.

"Mrs. Schafer, again, if there is  any thing that I can assist you will, have Mr. King contact me.  I wish I saw more women like you in here. Best of luck." She extended her hand and I shook it.

"Thank you." I didn't know what else to say. Had I been sitting in Chappy's seat, I'd have sworn he bought her off, but I merely prepared myself for the fight of my life and I might just have pulled it off.

Chappy and his attorney gathered there things and headed out the door.  I sat  there still absorbing what the mediator has said. Mr.King congratulated me on the presentation.  "I have to say, I had doubts.  I have never seen you like you were today.  I thought for sure I would have had to step in to help you."

I smiled. "Never underestimate the power of a woman. When do you expect we will hear back from them with regard to my demands?"

"She didn't put a date on it, I'll follow up tomorrow and inform them we want to hear back in two weeks? Do you think that will suffice?"

"I am thinking he made the decision to have an affair quicker than that, I don't need to give him more time to respond.  Give him one week."  I stood up and gathered my things.  I had given Chappy enough time to exit the building.  I walked to my car and drove home.  Life went on.  I only had to wait to here from him to figure out how long I had for my new life to begin.