Friends is a Word Used Loosely

August 16, 1986. My day of freedom. I rented a truck.  I guess I had a few things more than the bedroom set to take.  I had clothes, I had stuff in the attic that I had forgotten about from my move six years ago. A bicycle. An exercise bike. My sewing machine and cabinet. I took a hutch that we had bought when we remodeled the living room.  It was the one thing he told me I could take in furniture besides the bedroom set. I didn't really care for it, but I grew to like it.  Still have it today. It sets in my bedroom with the television stored in it and Bill's ashes and photos neatly displayed on the top shelf. It houses some of my jewelry and other little things that I use periodically.  It has served several purposes over the years, but never a memory of Killer.

He told me to take the sterling silver that he and Mollie had bought as I liked to use it and it was only a bad memory for him. I took his Magna Lite pots as I had to sell my mine when I married him. They were not good enough to enter his household and nestle next to his stuff.  I bought a lot of new stuff, but I still needed some  things and I thought the pots and pans were a good trade off for what I wasn't taking. 

Michael drove the truck. He was going to  help me load all this stuff and move it. Killer just asked me what day I was moving out and he made himself scarce that sunny, warm Saturday morning.

It felt odd to have Michael in the house. No one came into this house. He was curious to see how this man, Killer lived and I was in a hurry to get out of there and start my new life in my new nest.

As we were wrapping up, Gwyn, Norm's wife came over.  We had become friends over the last couple of years and had gotten to know one another when Killer started inviting me to donuts with them.  She wondered if we were getting new furniture.  No.  Were we getting rid of furniture? No. What was the truck for? I sat on the front porch and told her I was leaving Killer.

She was very surprised. Why? Everything seemed so perfect, on the outside.  She had known Mollie.  Her kids went to school with Worm.  They had lived across the street for years, even knowing Killer's parents when they lived there.  I couldn't tell her why. I just said it wasn't working and I needed to move on. 

Another lesson was learned that day. Not every one who claims to be your friend, is your friend.  I had suggested we could get together once in a while and meet for breakfast or lunch.  She was a teacher and her husband was a professor at MSU. She  told me that she couldn't do that.  Very plain and simple. Now it was my turn. Why?  "We are Killer's friends, not yours. We have to stick by Killer. I'm sorry." Her response startled me, but made me realize what Killer had told me so many times before, you don't have friends, you have acquaintances.

The move went rather smoothly. We drove across town to the west side of Lansing.  I was five minutes from the office.  I was minutes from shopping and I was on the other side of town from Killer.  He couldn't just drive by, it would require an intentional trip and he was not fond of the west side of Lansing so I didn't expect to see him.  One, I never told him where I moved so how would he ever know where my little piece of heaven was.

I proceeded to set up my little nest.  I could fix it any way I wanted to.  I did not have anyone telling me what colors or what style to decorate in, it was just me! I loved it!

My furniture and mattress were delivered on the same day.  It wasn't that big of an apartment and I didn't have that much to unpack and organize. By the end of the weekend I was moved in and ready to start the second chapter of my life without Killer, or so I thought.