You get the news, You can't believe it, You won't believe it, you are in denial

It was all we could do to get Bill discharged by five so that we could go home, change and make it to the Murat Theater to see Jerry Seinfeld.  On our way home, he placed his hand on my leg, "We're going to do a lot of this while we can, enjoy ourselves and just have fun."

I sure hoped so.  We forgot our troubles for a few hours. The day he was to be discharged, his oldest daughter and her boyfriend were on their way to see him, I ran into them in the parking lot.  They hadn't been up there to see him all week long, why today?

"What are you doing here?"  I know it is an odd question to ask the daughter of a man who was terminally ill, but there was always a reason for their visits and money was usually attached to it.

"My mom  won't sign the financial responsibility waiver so that I can go overseas to study.  She told me if I wanted to go, get my dad to sign it."

Just what I thought.  "He's getting discharged, we are kind of in a hurry as we have tickets to go see Seinfeld tonight, can you do this another time?"  

Of course not, I forgot who it was all about.  She followed me up to his room.  He was as surprised as I was to see her.  She didn't ask how he was, she was on a mission.  She told him that she needed a parent to sign a waiver for financial responsibility so she could study next year overseas, blah, blah, blah. Bill took the document and didn't even glance at it, he signed it. He knew he was not going to be around to be financially responsible for her next year.  He asked her to give us a moment alone.  He was furious with her and wanted me to ask her to leave.  As I came out of the room, she was standing at the nurse's station wanting information about  her father's condition.  They were not saying a word.  She was getting rather loud and demanding, so I took her aside, down a hall way and sat her down.

"Nikki, they are not going to tell you what your father's condition is.  It is not their job.  Your father is dying.  He has pancreatic cancer and while we can hope that we have caught it early on, the chances are slim.  There is no cure and treatment can only prolong it."

She burst out in tears and leaned in for comfort.  I am sure these girls loved their father, but they sure didn't show it. I told her to wipe her eyes and to go down the hall to see her dad.  I held back as I thought this was a moment that needed to be shared between them, alone.  Her boyfriend stood in the hall.  I had nothing to say to him.  It was Nikki's job to share it with him.  Within minutes she came out of the room, hugged me and took off.  Bill and I followed shortly after when his discharge papers were signed.

Saturday morning we had our hands full.  People needed to be informed.  He had spoken to his former wife and arrangements were made for all of us to meet at her home to break the news to the youngest. 

If there were not enough drama going on already, we were faced with more. Bill's former wife had just informed Ashley that she had miscarried a baby and Ashley who was a drama major in this thing called life was devastated.  Timing.  It boils down to timing.  You know your former husband is going to deliver some devastating news, so how about if you deliver some first.  Did she have to tell her this?  No.  Ashley would have never known one way or the other, but she did.  I wondered if there was any truth to it or if it was thrown on the table so that the focus would still be on her verses Bill.

The mother of his children.  Hard one to describe.  She was an opportunist to put it mildly.  I had never met her until Bill became ill and her actions during that time, confirmed every thing I had heard about her.  She was involved with a man who was separated, but still married.  I guess getting a divorce was too expensive, although he had nothing. There was the promise that they would be getting married, but as I write this today, eight years later, they are still not.

Ashley was weak.  She thrived on melodrama and it always resulted in her being unable to function in school, allowing her to stay at home often. The fire was being fueled.

We were all there. It was a dead give away that some thing was not right for all of us to be gathered under the same roof. She sat on the floor, we all surrounded her.  "What's going on?"  She had no idea.

Her mom broke the news.  "Your dad is sick."  Bill was unable to speak.  I told her that he had pancreatic cancer and we were going to the oncologist on Tuesday.  We were headed to Greencastle to break the news to every one else and she was free to  come along, if she wanted. She was fourteen.  Her whole life changed that day.

On our way to Greencastle, you would have thought she was dying.  She started creating a bucket list of all she wanted to do. "I want to go to New York and see a Broadway play.  I want to go to ...."  The list was endless.  Bill was never one to say much, but he'd had all he could take.

"Ashley, I'm the one dying. I really don't care what  you want to do, for once it's all about me."  It sure was quiet as we drove down the road.  Thank goodness the phone rang!  It was Bill's sister, Jonnan.  She wondered if he had the test results back.  He was trying to keep it light, but he just couldn't say a word, so he handed the phone to me and I updated her on our news.

We met everyone at his sister Anita's house.  All his siblings with the exception of Jonnan and his sister Lana, who lived in Florida, were there.  Bill's father would learn later of his son's challenges.  They thought we were going to deliver news of a marriage proposal, I'm sure they were surprised to hear some thing completely different.

I had picked up a brochure in Minnesota.  They had a Spam museum and I thought it was funny, so I picked it up to share with Bill.  He brought it with him that day and announced that our next "family" vacation was going to be visiting this Spam monument.  He excused himself to go to the bathroom.  That was my cue to make the  announcement.  Everyone was in tears and Bill came sliding across the floor like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.  "So, what do think?" The broadest smile on his face, masked how he was really feeling.

We told them we wanted to get married as soon as possible, but that we had other business to attend to.  Everyone of them stepped up to the plate to take charge of arranging our wedding.  All we had to do was pick a date.  We made plans to meet the next weekend at Bill's home.  He had to dispose of things he would no longer need.  It was a very emotional day for everyone. 

Like anyone who is faced with this news, you don't want to believe it.  Bill had been a runner.  He had run several marathons  over the years. He was one to take care of his health.  He didn't smoke.  He watched what he ate. He drank plenty of water, he exercised, he did every thing one should do, but his number was called and he was not going down without a fight.