Let's Get through This Honeymoon Phase

It was time to meet the family. Bill's sister from Pittsburgh was coming to town and he was anxious for me to meet everyone.  I had met his brother and two daughter's but I had not received the stamp of approval from the rest of the family. Jonnan was his sister from Pennsylvania. He was curious to see if we'd hit it off.  As we sat there that night, I realized I knew a lot about Bill, but I didn't know that much.  There was a part of him that he didn't want to reveal, for whatever reason, I am not sure, but there were bits of him that I never saw, yet so many spoke of.

We went to Greencastle the next day to meet the rest of the siblings and have dinner. It was November 3, 2003, we came home afterwards and sat around chatting. It was a Monday and we were watching Monday night football. Ashley, Bill's youngest was spending the night as well as Jonnan.   They had gone to bed and we sat on the couch talking about the weekend with family.  I told him I had to go and he  said, "I need you here, with me" followed up with, "I love you."  I reminded  him he had a full house of women and he didn't need another, but he insisted, "I don't want to spend another night without you, please stay." And I did.

The next day was his "weekend." I came over after work and he told me I had passed inspection with Jonnan and Ashley. It is strange how much we thought alike, we both reached into our pocket at the same time as he was telling me about his day with Jonnan, from our pockets, simultaneously, we pulled out a key, we had  each made keys to one an other's house, without discussing it, we both had thought of it and at the same time, gave it to the other.  Our life was filled with that.  We could finish each other's sentence's as if we had  known each other a lifetime.  We knew what the other was feeling without asking. It was just so damn simple to fall in love with this  man.

I wasn't afraid of him.  I didn't fear that he would break my heart. I trusted him and would have done any thing for him, I truly fell head over stilettos for him. I cancelled the cruise. We were going to have Thanksgiving at his new home with his family.  I  couldn't imagine being any where else.

When you walked in to  our homes, we had many of the same things, especially in the kitchen.  Our furniture was very similar almost identical, both plaid and a mixture of the same colors. We gravitated toward the same design and we liked quality over quantity and every thing had its place.

I had started doing his laundry on Friday nights while I waited for him to come home from  work.  The ritual was the same, I would drive to the west side at about nine and stop at the restaurant.  The rush would be gone by then.  Sitting at the bar, back by the kitchen, where he could watch every thing and chat with me, he'd bring me out a special plate, smaller portions of what I would normally order.  I'd leave and go to his home, do his laundry and iron his shirts.   The first time I did it, he couldn't believe that I knew how to iron them correctly.  I'd been ironing shirts from my days with Killer through Chappy, I was pretty good at it.

If I were in bed, when he came home, I'd get  up and come snuggle on the couch with him until he was ready to call it a night. Friday nights he didn't get home until close to one in the morning and he appreciated that I would wake up and lay with him.  I might fall back asleep, but he just wanted me there, next to him.

He did the littlest things that  meant the world to me.  They didn't cost a penny, but it made me feel loved.  If I were not in bed yet, or I got up, he'd roll over to my side "to keep it warm for" me.  If I had a long day, he'd fill the bath tub with hot water and bubbles, light candles and put on soft music, dim the lights and bring me a cold Pepsi to sip on while making me dinner.

By mid November, he had cleaned out a section of his closet for me to use so that I didn't always have to drive home to get clothes. I thought about how far I had come in just a few months, from how I was with Jeff to how I was with Bill, the difference? I could see myself spending the rest of my life with Bill.  These things that I feared with other men, were so natural with him.

His youngest daughter warmed up to me. Bill had mentioned that it had been a long time since he had seen her get close to any of his girlfriends. We spent a considerable amount of time together and often all she wanted was someone to listen and care about her. She lived with her mom who didn't live that far away, but she chose to spend most every weekend at Bill's even though Bill worked, she knew I'd be there. We did crafts, we baked, we shopped, we watched movies, we just did things together. Her mom was often gone on weekends to her boyfriends house and Ashley didn't care for that situation. Often she would come over and need things, personal things, medication and her mom would tell her to ask her dad and Bill expected  his former wife to provide those things as he paid support, Ashley was lost in the middle, so I would get her what she needed.  I didn't know the family dynamics at this point, a struggle between parents and a manipulating child.  I learned though.

I was headed to a conference in Chicago for several days and Bill took some time off so we could go together. We went up a day early to be able to enjoy the trip up. We were booked at the Hyatt, Room 2111, our first hotel room, we spent the day shopping on North Avenue again, amazed at how our tastes were so much alike.

We had dinner at Rock Bottom and as we sat there talking about our day and our mini vacation he asked me, "What are you planning on doing for the next forty years?"

I was forty three, "If I'm lucky, living still.  Forty years is a long time, can we focus on just one year at a time?"  I had no idea why he asked me this question, we were notorious for joking around all the time.

"Marry me. Let's get this honeymoon phase out of the way, then let's get married, want to?"  I knew what he was talking about, we had both shared getting married to soon after meeting someone.  I should have waited longer with Killer and Chappy, I should have walked away when I discovered that Vicki had been a part of our life. But had I not married Chappy, I would have never met Bill, so I am OK with that. We decided at one year, if we still felt the same and, neither of us doubted we wouldn't, we'd get married. We'd known each a week shy of two months. Yet it felt like we'd known one another a lifetime.