Men Rule this World, Step up and Be counted

Terry and I  never spoke again after that event.  We saw each other in the hall, but we never exchange anything more than hello.  He left within the year for another company.  Apparently he was struggling to bring in applications as the company eventually chose to close its doors a few years later.

When you are sitting on a secret like I was, you are the luckiest person in the world.  Just don't get cocky and go roll the dice at the casino. The company always had tickets to high profile events, basketball,  football, baseball, concerts, you name it, they had seats and the best the house had.  The policy had been that you put your name in for a drawing and you could win tickets to whatever event you had an interest in.  I had put my name in the hats dozens of times and never won, but all of a sudden, I was winning tickets to events I had thrown my  name in the hat for and events that I had not!  

My new boss, Charlie was weak.  He feared Joe. Joe would call you into a meeting and have you take notes, type them up and provide him a copy.  Charlie tried that with me and I refused to do it.  "Charlie, you called the meeting.  I would suspect you had an agenda when you called it so if you didn't take notes as we were talking, I didn't take them either." I was not going to be some shriveling nut in his parade.

Joe was  on a rampage one day.  I had been called to his office many times once Terry had been removed. Terry shielded me from Joe, or perhaps that was part of his plan, not allowing me to be there when the questions were asked about claims.

Charlie always accompanied me when I got called to the white pillar office.  Joe tried very hard to be intimidating, but one has to allow ones self to be intimidated and I never have been.  I knew what he detested and I'd wait for the moment to play the card.  He was very into personal space and body language.  He hated for any one to pull the chair closer to his desk and God forbid you to put a cup on his desk top!

This was after the ashes settled and Joe realized I was still standing.  He'd been making sure I had tickets to what ever show I wanted.  We had a discussion about the salary cut he gave me for the car and I informed him I lost money on that deal, he reinstated the salary cut, "Are you happy  now?"  Jeez, I just wanted to be treated fairly and I had not been.

He was riding me hard, trying to break me and I  wouldn't.  I was depending on Cheryl though to step up to the plate as I was on the broiler and she threw the old "if I had a gun, I'd kill her" comment out there. I didn't have time for this pettiness, I was dancing with the devil and was determined to win.

When we would go into these meetings with Joe, Charlie didn't say a word, just yes, sir and no, sir.  He took his copious little  notes and had them typed and delivered within the  hour.  It was pathetic.  

I on the other hand, would go toe to toe with him. I was not backing down if he was wrong.  Many times it was a fight to see who was going to back down first. But this day, I had been tired of being called up to his office over nothing.  As we rode the elevator up to the seventh floor, Charlie spoke, " Cindy, I'm going to give you a word of advise, I learned it a long time ago, just let him say what he has to say and walk away.  Don't argue with him, you'll never win.  Take your beating and he'll let you go. Open your mouth and you'll  never leave."

"So if her calls me a stupid bitch, I just sit there and take that? Is that what you are saying?"

"I'm saying, take the beating.  You will never win."

We opened the door and I sat down.  OK.  I'll give this a try.  He started in and he was way off base with the facts as he was presenting them.  I crossed my arms in front of me and must have rolled my eyes or sighed because the next thing I knew he jumped up from his chair, slammed the door to the office, came back to the chair and leaned across the desk at me, "I'm tired of walking on fucking eggshells with you!  You want to be a part of the man's world, then you are going to learn to deal with the men that run this world."

I just sat there.  "You don't think I can tell what message you are sending to me with your arms crossed, rolling your eyes when I'm talking to you."

"I am not sending any message to you, Joe.  I'm just sitting her listening to you." If I wanted to  send a message, my fingers were dancing to send a set of twins his way, but they didn't.

He started to rip me up one side and down the other and I just sat there.  My insides were about to explode, but I took Charlie's advise.  "I'm talking to you, Cindy, what you don't have an opinion today?  You don't want to share with me what you are thinking? So you are just going to sit there closed off to me?"

"No, Joe, no opinion."

"I find that hard to believe! You always have some thing to say, what the hell is wrong with you today that you don't have an opinion?"

Oh, I had an opinion, but Charlie told me to take my beating and I'd get out of there sooner than later. Sorry, Charlie, but this isn't working for me.

"I was told to just come in here, take my beating and leave, so if you could tell me what is on your mind, I'd like to get back to work."

Charlie sat next to me, I could see him melt on to the floor as I spoke those words. "Who told you to not say any thing? You've never come into this office and just sat here, who, who told  you?"

"Charlie.  He told me that I would never win, so to just keep quiet.  Are we done yet?"

He lost it! I can't help that my message was dripping with sarcasm.  It is just who I am. " So that is how you want to play this, huh? Cindy?"

Oh this is just not  me! I stood up, I moved my chair right up to his desk and I put my glass on the desktop. I leaned in on the desk, my arm supporting me, I was getting into his personal space. Charlie was quivering behind me, taking notes of whatever he was witnessing, I'm assuming.

"I never asked you to walk on fucking eggshells with me.  That was your doing.  You're scared shit less that I'll go to the Board and blow the whistle on the shenanigans that Terry pulled, so you have to be nice to me and it's just eating you alive. I didn't ask to be put in that situation and I saved your ass, if the board ever found out, I had the paper trail to sink Terry, your scape goat. So whatever   you have to say, say it, but you better know that I'm not going to sit here like Charlie and lick my wounds. I will take you on toe to toe if you are wrong and today, you've got your facts screwed up!"

He sat back for a moment and I was planning on how I could pack my office up quickly once he fired me.  He didn't though. "There's the Cindy I know, don't listen to Charlie, you got something to say, say it! You can go, close the door when you leave, Charlie, you need to stay."  

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when I walked out of that office! I was tired of being the woman that men walked on.  I was tired of playing the game.  I didn't have any thing to lose, I had a big check coming in every month, perhaps that is why my balls were so big that day, or perhaps I had let Joe know that I could play in the world that men thought they ruled.