I recalled the times we shared over the years. He had a fundraiser that he needed to attend and asked me if I wanted to go. It was a Monte Carlo event, people dressed up to the nines and mingled with others as they played casino games to raise money for some cause.
Abe's had been married for years and he had never been faithful to his wife. We were friends, nothing more. I used to tell him what an ass he was for some of the things he had done to that woman, but he was old school, he provided for her and he felt "entitled" to have his affairs since she was not willing to give so freely. I remember on their fiftieth wedding anniversary how hurt he was when he had made special plans for the two of them to celebrate. She refused to participate in his plans and he was hurt. He wanted to go celebrate fifty years and her response was classic, "Why would I want to celebrate fifty years of being married to an asshole." She was right and he was deeply hurt.
But the evening of the Monte Carlo event, we dressed up and headed out. Neither of us gamblers. I have a hard time throwing my money away on lottery tickets and gambling. As we walked into the building, Abe mentioned that he was not going to fund my gambling. I looked at him, surprised, I had no expectations of him "funding" any thing for me. He had this thing about money that just rubbed me the wrong way.
When Neal left years before, I wasn't eating and Abe noticed. It is when our friendship started. He would go to his friend's sandwich shop in downtown Lansing and make me a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly, and we'd meet in the park just down the street from my office. I didn't ask him to do this for me, he just did and one day out of no where he said, "You know you could buy me lunch one day. I'm always buying you lunch."
I stopped eating the sandwich, handed it back to him and stood up. "I never asked you to buy me lunch and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, that you get for free from your buddies sandwich shop, is a kind gesture, but keep it, I don't need it if there is some price tag on it." I walked away and didn't talk to him for a long time. He saw me in the break room one day and apologized, he'd been wrong, "but, you're so cheap, can't you treat me once in a while?'
"I'm not cheap, I'm just not buying an old man lunch who demands that I return his kind gesture." He continued to buy me lunch whenever we met and he never spoke about it again.
But, back to the Monte Carlo night. As we walked around the room, people were watching us. I'm sure we were quite the sight. In heels, I am close to six feet tall and Abe was about five five. He was almost thirty years older than I was. He commented, "I bet these fool's think I'm your pimp."
"You'd be so lucky to hold that position, because, again, I wouldn't share the profits that this," as I swept my hands over my body,"could rake in. My mother always told me I was sitting on a pot of gold." That was our relationship, just two souls who knew how to bullshit with the best of them.
We left the event and he asked me if I wanted to go dancing at the Hayloft on the Southside of Lansing. The Hayloft was a country dance bar that in the day was a hopping joint, if you loved country music. At the time, it was not in my top ten picks of listening pleasure.
He drove to the Hayloft and as we walked to the door, a young "cowboy" was leaning up against the building, smoking his Marlboro, tipping his Stetson in my direction. "Good evening, Ma'am."
Ma'am? I was all of thirty years old! I told Abe I had to ditch him, he was ruining my image. Men my age were calling me Ma'am! We were laughing as we entered the dance hall and I had never been so uncomfortable in all of my life. We were dressed for an event of big time rollers and we just entered Dodge City, I was looking around for Miss Kitty and Marshall Dillon. There was a time warp occurring at that precise moment. "I don't want to stay, let's go."
Abe had a field day with that one for years. "What's wrong? I've never seen you back down like this before."
"I am not comfortable here. Look at the way were are dressed, we stick out like martian's." Everyone was looking at us, this old man and his young friend, dressed as though they had stepped out of the Great Gatsby movie set.
"Come on, dance with me." He grabbed my hand and took me to the dance floor. I hated country music. I danced for a few minutes and then walked off the floor and headed toward the door. Abe quick on my heels.
 |
| Abe and Tina |
"What's wrong with you? You think you're better than those people? Have a little fun, let your hair down. Come on, let's do dance."
I planted my feet firmly. "I'm not your play toy. Don't go parading me around town like I am. I told you, I'm not comfortable and it has nothing to do with cowboys and long neck beer bottles, it has every thing to do with my self respect, take me home."
Abe respected me for my strength. He always thought I had a level head on my shoulders and if I ever appeared weak, he'd remind of that evening. "Where's that pretty lady that had balls the size of China the night I wanted to go dancing at the Hayloft?" He was a wonderful friend over the years and I was going to miss him.
My forty fifth birthday was days later. It wasn't anything memorable. I was shattered beyond belief. I was trying to resolve issues with Bill's finances. I wondered if he had sensed some thing was wrong long before he had gone to the doctor that one day in December. He had significantly increased his life insurance at work and made me sole beneficiary, shortly after he had lost his car, but not long before he had been diagnosed. It saddened me to think he was worth more dead than alive.
His employer had all kinds of policies that I had to figure out what to do with. I read through piles of documents trying to figure out what he had and didn't have. I had to go through files he had at his house to see if I had missed any thing as I had no idea what he had or didn't have.
I'd come across documents that would appear he had policies some where else and I'd have to start digging to find if they were still active or not. Trying to locate things that you have no idea about is a challenge. To this day, I wonder if he had some type of pension with a former employer that he worked for over eighteen years, but I can not locate them. They used to manage a chain of steak houses named Mountain Jack's, but I can't find anything on who owned them. Nothing could just be thrown away, every thing had to be looked at with a fine tooth comb.
I had come across a policy that the girls were beneficiary's on and I contacted Nikki to give her the information. It was a dead end street. He had cashed in the life insurance policy about the time he married his second wife. I had hoped that I could find something for his girls, but it just wasn't there.
The life insurance money came in and I was overwhelmed. I was going to invest it all. I had no "need" for it. I had gotten a nice little sum from Chappy, but I did do one thing, I took the diamond earrings that I had upgraded when Chappy left and I upgraded them one more time. My final gift from Bill. Two caret total weight diamond earrings. I loved them and was often complimented on how beautiful they were, but I always followed up with "you wouldn't want to do what I had to do to get these, I endured a painful divorce and the death of my husband." That always stopped them dead in their tracks. What else could they say?
I had contacted the bank I did business with to discuss investing the money. I did not give them authority to do anything with it just yet, but they did. I was fortunate enough to have emailed the banker on several occasions with regard to our discussions and I had written down the time of phone conversations. Don't ask me why? I just do this and it has saved me time and time again.
I had been trying to reach a friend that was in the investment business to get some insight on what I should do, but he didn't return my calls. So, I placed the money in the bank and had started to talk to them. Phil eventually called and again, it was all in timing. He called days after the bank had transferred this money without my authorization and I was telling him the predicament I was currently in.
I had met Phil on a dating website in early 2003, before I met Bill. We had only spoken on the phone, he lived in the Chicago area, but we did enjoy bantering back and forth. I knew I could trust him to guide me through this maze I was faced with. He didn't disappoint me. His brother had worked for the government at one time and knew the ins and outs of the investment world and the right and wrongs of what investors could and could not do.
With their help, they guided me to resolve the issue at the bank. The investor who was helping me was fired and the fees he had charged me to do this illegal transaction were reinstated. Phil and his brother saved me a lot of money as I did not have to hire an attorney, they just walked me through the loopholes and I did the work.
I ended up investing the money with their company and have had great success even through the market falling out a few years later. Phil has been a great friend, although at times he challenges me. His nickname is Dick Wad because there are days, he really can be one! But for the most part, he has been a kind friend. There was a day though that he was in the cross hairs of my anger, but I'll cross that bridge later.
I spent months sorting through Bill's life, I made it a priority to get to know my niece and nephews and I struggled to get through the year. It was probably the best and worse year of my entire life. I married Bill, that was the best, but losing him and the aftermath, was the worst part of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment