All About Us

I had the week off and spent it at Bill's.  He wanted every thing to be perfect for Thanksgiving. The first part of the week was spent cleaning.  He would always chuckle because we did things so much alike.  I had cleaned the kitchen and he came in as I had pulled out the stove and was wiping the sides down as well as mopping  behind it.  I don't do this all the time, but once in a while, it needs to be done.  He thought he was the only one that did that.  He then discovered I had done laundry and his socks were sorted and matched.  He stood in his bedroom with this big grin on his face, "Do you always do this?"

"Do what?" I thought maybe he didn't like how I had matched them, but he was not used to someone matching them.  He was used to someone just throwing them in a pile. We laughed at our quirks and were so  happy we found someone who understood them.

Thanksgiving went off rather nicely, but I started to notice little tell tale signs of some thing that was different. He never opened his mail. It would stack on the dining room table and then he'd place it on the chair. He was a stickler for keeping the garage door down at all times. He had asked me to pick up the ham for dinner and he'd pay me for it, but he never did.  Ashley needed her medication and he wanted me to get it, he'd pay me back, but he never did. It wasn't that I couldn't afford it, it was something nagging my gut, telling me there was some thing he wasn't sharing.  I didn't know nor was it my business to ask him about his finances, so I just kept quite.  He'd tell me if he needed some thing, but he never did, until it was too late.

Meanwhile, I had returned home the Sunday after Thanksgiving to work in the yard and prepare things for winter.  The  house and shed, opened, it appeared someone was home when I was inside and heard someone knock at the door.  I looked out and saw Jeff.

I had been avoiding his phone calls. I had told him I had met someone else, but he kept leaving messages.  I didn't want to talk to  him.  He had decided to "teach me a lesson," hoping I would miss him and it backfired, I met Bill.

I wouldn't answer the door.  I had nothing to say to him nor did I want to see him. He kept calling the house phone telling me to pick up, answer the door and I kept ignoring him.  I was sure he would just leave, but he didn't.  He knew I was there, it was obvious, the shed open, tools in the yard, just the doors to the house were closed.  I hid inside and he came peeking in the windows calling my name.  Just leave.  He had to leave if I didn't respond, but he didn't.  He sat in my driveway for four and a half hours, calling the home phone, knocking on the door, calling my name, peering in the windows, he wasn't leaving and I was a basket case.

He kept telling me on phone messages that he loved me and missed me, wanted to talk, move through this and work on being together.  I had no interest.  Bill called, he was  just getting off of work and wanted to know what I had accomplished that day and if I wanted to get together.  I told him that Jeff had been sitting outside for four and a half hours and wouldn't leave, I didn't have to say another word, he said he'd be right there and within thirty minutes, he was pulling up in the driveway.

I sat inside crippled, shaking like a leaf.  I felt like a prisoner in my own home.  Why I didn't  open the door, I don't know, but I did not want to see him nor talk to him. I was glad he had stopped calling, perhaps I didn't want to open a door that would never close.

Bill brought Ashley with him.  He came inside and said Jeff wanted "a ring?" The bag with the ring had been sitting on my dresser for almost a year, untouched, the chocolate still wrapped.  I had tried to give it back to him, but he told me to keep it in case I changed my mind.  I tried to take it back to the jewelers to see if they would credit his charge card and take the ring back, but  they wouldn't without him standing there.  I didn't want it.  So I retrieved it handing it to Bill who returned it to Jeff, who drove away.  He wasn't there to pick that ring up, he was there to try and make things right, but when he saw Bill, he knew what I was telling him was true.

I never asked Bill what was exchanged between the two of them, I was just grateful he took care of it.  He didn't want me to stay at my house, so he told me to pack a bag and come home with him.  He had Ashley drive back with me so that she could keep me alert to drive.  When we got home, he drew a bubble bath for me and told me he'd make dinner.  I sat there, tears in my eyes, I don't even know why. Bill came in with a cold Diet Coke and sat on the floor beside the tub, "Do you want to talk about it?"  I did, but not with Ashley there.  He took her home later and we talked for a couple of hours.

The next day Bill made arrangements to change the locks on my doors. He told me that he admired my strength, I'm not sure where he saw it as it wasn't there that day Jeff sat in the drive. He wanted to know if his being quiet bothered me? I guess he was, quiet about certain things, but he listened and shared when he wanted.  I had asked him about  some things his sister had mentioned and he blew it off. But he knew deep inside, it was important for me to know things about his past that he didn't want to talk about.


Christmas was just around the corner, Bill had not been feeling well and had to work Christmas Eve. When he got home, he wanted to give me an early Christmas gift, before the girls came over the next day.  We had been having this conversation over and over about him opening up.  He handed me this package and as I opened it, he was beaming.  It was a book.  I had never had some one give me such a thoughtful present. He had spent a considerable amount of time thinking about this, maybe even searching for it, the book was titled, "All About Us." One hundred and sixteen pages of questions, twenty two categories from   "Before Us" to "Uncomfortable Moments" to "Sex & Company," every topic you could imagine with questions to ask each other and a place to take notes.  He drew a hot bubble bath, lit candles, soft music and a cold drink for me.  We sat snuggled in the tub and we started working through the book.  He answered any question I asked and I did the same in return.  It was the best gift I had ever gotten up to that day.  It proved to me that he really did love me and he'd go out of his comfort zone to share parts of his life that he wished remained in his past. I loved that man. He was the best thing to ever happen to me.