Life at the Homestead was not always filled with tension. Killer and I loved working in the yard and our yard was beautiful. One year we even won the neighborhood award for having the prettiest yard in the Baily Community.
He had season tickets to MSU football. I hated football. Never understood it and to this day do not understand it, but will watch if a gun is held to my head. He always would take me to the games and I didn’t mind the first two of the season as the weather was nice and we’d walk to the stadium and I’d people watch. But after the first two games, maybe three, I didn’t like sitting in the cold or damp weather. So, he’d take Worm. I thought it might help them bond together, some one on one time. She needed some attention from Killer and he was not willing to give her any positive attention. I know they enjoyed themselves, although Killer would never admit it.
He always let her watch Miracle on 34th Street at Christmas time. I have never watched that movie, but it is still her all time favorite even to today. She didn’t get to watch television much because she was not allowed to “play” until her homework was done and she lollygagged doing her homework, so her nights were spent sitting in her room day dreaming but not doing her homework. Ok, I’m wrong; tension was always playing softly in the background if not at full blast rocking the plaster off the walls. This child who I loved as if she were my own, was gone, but the memories of her still lingered in my mind. Such as the lying, stealing and skipping school.
The principal called me some time in her sophomore or junior year and wanted to meet with me about her attendance issues. Worm had been skipping classes for almost three weeks when the call came in. I am guessing those hourly attendance reports were a bit behind as how could you allow a child to miss three weeks of the same class without a red flag being slightly raised?
I took off from work to meet with the principal. I was not one of these parent’s who claimed the authorities must be mistaken; my little Wormie would never skip school. I was the parent who said, show me the proof and let’s address it as a team. I will back you up 110%. I need to keep this child on track.
East Lansing Schools in the 1980’s must have had a different agenda. They were not interested in whether your child was attending classes and learning, they were interested in appearances. Perhaps that is why Killer was the way he was, he attended East Lansing High School and graduated in 1962, appearances meant everything to him.
The principal informed me that the rules stated if she missed this amount of time, actually less than what she had missed, she would be dropped from the class with no credit. Okay by me, I went through high school and never took a study hall; she could give up study hall one year to make this class up. I am on board. What next?
This principal appeared flabbergasted! Well, if she was kicked out of the class, she’d have to sit in the principal’s office for that period. Again, I am not seeing a problem with this. The principle’s office was a fish bowl. It was all glass so she’d be seen sitting there while other student’s walked by and maybe a little embarrassment would reel her in to attending class.
I was on board, so if she had to sit in the office for that one hour, not a problem with me. Let’s do this. And then I heard the words come from this principal’s mouth that just blew me over. “Mrs. Henshaw, we cannot allow Worm to sit in the office for the hour, other students would see her and she’d be ridiculed and suffer self esteem issues.”
Hold on to your ball caps! YOU called me, to inform me there was an issue with my child not attending class. Three solid weeks of not attending class, not one day, three weeks, fifteen school days. You told me there was a problem and I needed to drop everything I was doing to come meet with you. You tell me the “rules” dictate she will be dropped from class and not get credit and the “rules” state she will be reprimanded to the principal’s office for that hour to sit until her next class starts. That is what your rules say and now you stand before me and tell me my child is exempt from the consequences because she will have self esteem issues and you are worried about appearances?
She didn’t understand. Worm already had self esteem issues, no thanks to Killer! She didn’t understand that I had been preaching to her the consequences of your actions had to be faced sooner or later. So what did she have in mind if she wasn’t going to follow her “rules?” The principal had a marvelous idea, we will let her continue to attend class and give her an incomplete.
Now, I am a common sense kind of girl. I apply logic to most everything I do. How does this make sense? She is not returning from lunch. She is skipping class. She has overstepped the boundary and the rules dictate she fails the class and sit in the office. If you applied this rule and she didn’t show up to the principal’s office after lunch, I would assume one would think there was a problem. A child missing? A child off campus? But you want me to take time from my day to discuss this issue, yet you want to do nothing about it? Why call? Nothing has changed. You want her to continue to attend class knowing she is going to get an incomplete. Why would she attend? For appearances? I just could not wrap my brain around this issue that warranted my presence to address a violation, but no consequences were to be paid by this blatant disrespect of the rules. I guess I’d have to deal with this myself. They were merely informing me I had the problem, not them.
I implemented a check in sheet. Each Friday, she was to have each teacher, from each hour sign a sheet that informed me whether she had attended class, had late assignments, or was to be working on a project or assignment. That way I would know each week where she stood. If she was attending classes. I could monitor the work she needed to do and make sure the work was turned in on time. I will admit, this might have created self esteem issues and it may have been noticed by others, but how can I monitor what she is supposed to be doing in class if I don’t know whether she is attending class or if she is telling me the truth that she had no homework. This went on for some time and then stupid must have been tattooed back across my forehead as I noticed the same teacher kept writing the same thing each week. And it appeared this teacher was robotic as the message and signature was almost identical even the slant of the signature.
Now, I do not have a trained eye, but I am an investigator by trade. I am paid to investigate claims and find the loopholes if there are any to prove the claim is legitimate of fraudulent, so my eye is trained to details. I held up the weekly sign in sheet to compare it to the others and much to my surprise, the fourth hour teacher (just before lunch) never changed her message or signature. In fact she was so perfect; she signed it in the exact same place each week, at the exact same slant. I was witnessing a miracle before my eyes! Or not.
I pointed this out to Worm and I questioned her about the similarities of the message and the signature. Poor child, she saw stupid tattooed on my forehead and went with it. She had no idea what I was talking about, this teacher signed this sheet every Friday.
So, I was not surprised when the call came in from the principal to come to the office to discuss Worm’s attendance again. I was not surprised that she had merely changed her shopping hours from after lunch to before lunch. She had now been absent from her fourth hour class for three weeks as well. I still could not understand how a child can be absent from a class for three solid weeks and the school officials do not take notice. A day, I understand, but after a few days or a week, I would think some where a light bulb would be flashing, “ALERT, ALERT, we have a problem Houston.”
Was I going to miss this? The last night she was home, I was angry and I confronted her, "When will I ever be able to come home and not have to deal with something that you've done? Can I just have one day that I come home and don't have to deal with this shit?"
These words echoed in my heart that first night she was gone. I wasn't free from dealing with her, I was worried that she was safe. Was she warm, was she out of harm's way? Reggie would not call the police to report a missing person. He did not want them involved. I think deep inside I knew why. But he also didn't go looking for her. I was the one that went up to the school looking for her.
The next morning I needed to be in Saginaw for a hearing. I couldn't back out at the last minute. But Killer, he was working in Okemos, he could have taken the day to go sit at the school and look for her, but he didn't. I couldn't understand why he wasn't more involved in finding her, but over time, I understood. He was relieved that she was gone for his own reasons
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