The Lessons Continue and the Control Gets Tighter

I had taken a job in 1981 with Shelby Mutual Insurance Company as an inside multi line claims adjuster.  Killer did not think I was worthy of this position as I had little experience and no college education.  He had served time in Vietnam and returned to secure a degree from Michigan State University. He worked at Kroger’s during this time and had met Mollie Belle, who was his second wife. His first wife was a woman he had met shortly after high school.  His story was he fell in love with her big “tits” and family money, but she gained weight after he returned from the service and fat was not an option he would select for his wife, no matter how big her “tits” were or the pocketbook. 

He strayed and she hit him where it hurt the most.  His wallet and his car.  He was awarded the car in the divorce and she was to deliver it to him soon after. You have to love a woman with a sense of humor.  She wrapped that Corvette around a telephone pole just outside the apartment of his latest lover and handed him the keys. Her name was Noni and she never remarried after she divorced Killer.  He claimed that once you had “Killer’s Diller” there was nothing to compare it to. 

She spent years in therapy and years later, as she was walking out of her therapist building, she spotted him next door going into his office.  She knew how to get a hold of him. He was in the book.  She called him and wanted to meet him to talk.  They had been divorced for close to twenty years.  Her therapist thought it was a good idea to confront him and it took years for her to build up her courage, but that day, when she saw him, she took it as a sign. We were married at the time and he asked me what I thought. I was fine with his meeting with her if he could help her recover from whatever haunted her all these years.

I don’t know what happened during that meeting and exchange, he didn’t say much, but years later, when we were divorced, she called him again and wanted to meet both of us.  He did not have the courage to tell her that we were no longer together.  He called and I agreed to meet with the two of them.  I told her during the meeting that we were divorced and she was extremely surprised as Killer had led her to believe that I was this Angel of Mercy and he had changed.  He was quick to point out to her though that we were trying to reconcile our differences and had spoken of the possibility of remarriage.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him at the time that this was a pipe dream of his.  I had no intention of any reconciliation at that moment or in the near future.

But back to my story, my life with Killer could not hold a candle to the hell she lived through by the endless stories he shared with me about their marriage.

I accepted this offer of employment at Shelby Mutual as an entry level adjuster.  I was handed claim files that were as thick as the concrete that we drive our cars on every day.  My training consisted of reading these files and learning how a claim is investigated and a claim file documented.  I started taking insurance claim courses offered by the company that allowed you to work at your own pace and secure a certificate at the end of each course to acknowledge your completion.  It was a small office. There were four clerical support women, a male supervisor, male manager and a female field adjuster who came into the office once a week to do paperwork.  I was the only female adjuster in this man’s world and the women treated me poorly.  Two of the four were sisters and had worked for this company for years.  They were very loyal to their male managers, but I was hired and they had to take directives from me, it was not accepted by them.  I had an office and they worked in an open area. I could hear their snide remarks about me and their flippant attitudes began to wear on my patience.  I approached the claims manager who hired me and suggested my office be moved to one in the back office area, away from the pettiness of these coworkers.  He obliged, but he did not give me an office that was open in the back office area, but instead set me out in the open area among the storage files.  I guess that was his way of calming all the pettiness he was witnessing.  I had what I wanted, to be outside of hearing range of all the snide comments and they had want they wanted, me outside of an office that usually was reserved for men.

I started collecting my certificates.  I had maybe three or four and I had hung them on my “storage wall” to homey up the file room I had been assigned to.  The coffee machine was back in my space and these women would walk through and take note of my certificates hanging on the wall.  The remarks about my accomplishments were being noted with sarcastic remarks about my growing display. 

I was quiet.  I did not warn these women that where there is smoke and someone is fanning the flames to burst around Cindy Marie, stand back, because she will throw gasoline on that sucker and watch you burn at the stake.  I have taken a more subtle approach with age, I inform all that  come into my path, I am the nicest person you will ever met, but if you so much as cross me, I will nail your ass to a wall and remove your skin with pleasure. Some have tested me, thinking I was kidding.  Those who have, walked away knowing they had been warned.  It was a lesson I had to learn as so many challenged this young woman who stood tall, dressed very nice, spoke firmly and distinctly and took no prisoners.

While I worked at Shelby Mutual, Killer felt it was necessary to drive me to and from work. This could have contributed to the image these women had of me.  I had a car.  I worked across town from where we lived and he worked, but he felt compelled to drive me to work every morning.  We had breakfast every morning at the Clock Restaurant and I would walk across the parking lot to the office afterwards.  Killer would show  up for lunch and  we’d once again, have lunch at the Clock Restaurant and I’d walk back across the parking lot to work waiting for Killer to pick me up at five for the day.  This went on for two years. I don’t know why he did this, you didn’t question him. And you have to know how tough that was for me who questioned authority from the day I popped out of the oven.

I decided I wanted to take some classes at Lansing Community College.  I had plans to take this world of claim adjusting by the tail and run with it.  By now, experience was not only required but more companies were leaning toward those with a college degree.

I signed up for two classes at Lansing Community College.  I had not been in school for over five years and I was not sure about this whole going to class, doing homework and working full time thing as well as managing the role of being a full time mother and wife.

You guessed it, Killer drove me to class. There was no escaping this man for a moment of fresh air without him standing slightly behind me or watching me from afar.  Killer did not believe in public displays of affection.  He did not like to hold hands.  He did not like to walk arm in arm.  He always walked three steps behind me.  He said he liked to watch others look at me and know that I was all his.  I guess it was better than him walking three steps ahead of me, but it was not what I desired.

I sat in classes with kids fresh out of high school.  They had no grasp of the real world or the working world.  They were in to partying, drinking, staying up late and dragging themselves to night school.  I did not feel I belonged here.  I knew the subject matter we were discussing in these business classes as I had been working for some time now.  Killer always made sure I sat at a desk that was visible from the hallway where he could watch me.  I hated this.  He would be standing at the door when we would have a break, in his suit coat, waiting for me to exit the door way and making sure everyone saw that I belonged to him.  I didn’t return to school after I finished those two classes until years later just before I was about to make my final exit.

The certificates on my wall grew to thirty six.  I started taking more complex courses that required more time and fancier certificates that I displayed in larger frames.  On my twenty second birthday at 10:00 AM, the senior management of Shelby Mutual came into our office from their white pillar towers in Ohio.  Within minutes, our doors closed and I was unemployed once again.  A recession was under way and Lansing, Michigan saw the doors close on many little mom and pop insurance claims offices.  Finding a job was no longer easy.