Curbside Dating

When we first begin to date, we are full of hope that we will fall in love and get married.  Happily ever after.  I never had this desire as a young girl.  I never dreamed of wedding dresses, big weddings,  having children, picket fences or rose gardens.  I dreamed of getting out of my  parents home and making money!  I wanted to be independent and free to roam long before roaming carried charges with it.  Pre cell phone days.  When Mother always warned you to keep a dime in your purse in case you needed to make a call.

Those first dates were so full of excitement!  Not necessarily because you did something that was out of the ordinary, but because butterflies carried you through the night. The anticipation of whether he would hold your hand, put his arm around you at the  movies, or kiss you good night kept your heart racing like a roller coaster ride.

As you age, dating doesn't create Monarch butterflies.  It's not something new.  It actually becomes a task.  A career for some and others just a check mark on the bucket list.  Did that, don't need to do it again.

My first husband was much older than I was.  He was happily married to his "second wife." I was struggling with a relationship that I thought was hopeful.  I worked three jobs while he went to school and worked part time.  I admired Husband One for the way he treated his wife.  He put her on a pedestal.  I felt like I was the Tidy Bowl man, one more flush and I was history.

His wife passed away and during that time of grieving, I moved away from this toxic relationship.  We married 9 months later.  I became an instant mother to a 10 year old and a wife to a 36 year old.  I had just turned 20.  This marriage is worth a blog all of its own, but I divorced this man I admired because what you see on the outside is not always creamy, gooey fun on the inside.

Husband two was a Momma's boy.  I took my time knowing the pitfalls from Husband one.  Lessons were learned, once a momma's boy, always a momma's boy and if you mix that with a workaholic, you might as well stay single and buy a dog.  I borrowed the neighbor's dog.  She was better company in my life without a rose garden and white picket fence

Husband three was my soul mate. We met on line of all places but by now the Internet was booming and online dating was a quick way to meet people outside of your social bubble, which for me consisted of work and work.  I married Husband three eight years ago tomorrow.  Unfortunately, the rose garden and white picket fence faded five days later when he passed on from pancreatic cancer.

It took some time to get back into "dating."  In fact in 8 years I really have not "dated" anyone.   One, I am looking for the man with the letters J,Q,X or Z in his name.  Near impossible. Second, I can't seem to get past the "courting."  I am 52, soon to be 53, the red flags standing stiff in the wind and the BS meter cranked past extreme keep me from moving beyond a few meetings.

That brings me to my post...curb side dating.  For this post, we will call him Curb Side.  Mom and Dad met him only because they were visiting when he picked me up, they refer to him as Wayne Newton.

Curb Side was 6'5 and you would think that he was the only human that was 6'5 because he commented constantly about the trials and tribulations of being Shrek. He also promoted himself as being of an "athletic build."  I have discovered one must ask what athlete they are built like, because athletic build could equate to Refrigerator Perry.  Just sayin...live and learn.

So, Curb side had a soft side for chick flicks.  Hundreds of DVD's in his library of chick flicks.  I know!  Are you seeing the red flags bursting in air?  One particular night he suggested we stay in and watch a movie.  He offered to cook.  Call me lucky!  I drove to his home and as I entered he suggested we go out to grab a bite to eat.  He was on the computer.  I assumed he was looking for restaurants and he asked me if I liked Applebee's.  Yes, I did.  He asked me what I liked at Applebee's.  If any one knows me, I'm a cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, coke kind of girl.  I was in the back and he apparently was on the phone. Soon we were off for dinner.  He pulled up to Applebee's and as I tried to get out of the car, he said, "No, they bring it to you."

THEY BRING IT TO YOU?  I was envisioning the movie with Kevin Costner...."build it and they will come."  They were building my burger and I was coming for it!!  As this thought crossed my mind, a woman came out of a side door with an awning overhead, "CURB SIDE."  She brought the bag to the car and he paid for the meal and swoosh we were headed back home.

Curb side.  Have you heard of this? I have never ordered anything except for a pizza and it was delivered..they called it home delivery back in the day, but now you drove to the restaurant and parked in your car like the old drive ins.  Well, this was certainly a whole new concept, but wait, it gets better....

He drove us back to his house.  The meals came in lovely black styrofoam containers.  I guess to make the food pop and appear more colorful.  Flatware matched wrapped in a white tissue and encased in a plastic sterile wrap.  I attempted to take my cheese burger, cheese burger but he snatched it from my paws!  How dare I eat out of styrofoam...this was a date!  He slid the burger on a chipped china plate and presented it to me.  "It just feels special when you put it on one of your own plates."  Yeah, I was feeling pretty special.  Thanks for the memory Curb Side!