Living the life of a Thug - Not my style

When I offered to help Barry, I invited more drama into my life than I cared to imagine. While he had his own set of issues, his former room mate was a  walking time bomb waiting to explode.  The whole reason she kicked him out was because I bought groceries and she was under the impression there was more between the two of us than there ever was.

She did not believe people did nice things for no reason. While she couldn't stand to have him around, she couldn't stand to not have him around. She was married to her husband, Steve, who had held a good paying job in Colorado, but got mixed up in the cocaine scene and lost his job.  She met Barry at a party and they "hooked" up.  They had an affair and her husband was fine with this as he had his own little quirks about himself that she accepted.  It was a tit for tat kind of marriage, if you want to call it a marriage, legally on paper, they were married, but their behavior did not support a healthy relationship.

She called Barry constantly and the conversation would start out fine, but she knew where to push his buttons and then the match was on. I grew tired of her emailing me with stories about him and calling my home leaving long winded messages that were hateful.

After the first stint of the "missing money," I called her and told her to come get him.  He was missing in action again and I was  tired of the drama.   She wasted no time coming to get his things and I was more than happy to return to my boring life.  She stood in my driveway and wondered how he would know she had his belongings. I told her to call him and tell him, she had a better idea, she stripped off her dress, in my drive way, removed her bra and left it on the trash can where he could see it and would know she had been there.  

My mouth dropped to the ground.  She had had a boob job that she was quite proud of, so I discovered any time she could flaunt them, she did. She was right, when he rode up on his bike and saw her bra, he knew exactly what had happened.  Perhaps it was a secret message between the two of them.

He was angry that I had given her his stuff, but I was angry that he had used me.  We had made a deal  and he didn't stick up to it. It lasted less than a week, he called me, she had thrown him out again and he had no where to go.  This went on for a couple of months and it had to stop. My parents were coming for a month as they always did in the summer.  My mom does not understand my giving nature and this would put her over the edge.

After the incident with the car, I started demanding he give me his money so that I could make sure he would not blow it. He had a job on the west side of Indianapolis that his boss would pick him up and take him to the construction site.  I placed him in a motel near the intersection where he caught his ride. He was making six hundred a week under the table. He was a hard worker, but with jobs like that, one day they are there and the next day they aren't.

He needed money to pay his "rent" at the motel. He was paying by the day as he didn't have a steady income.   He called and asked me to bring him some money and I refused.  I had helped all I could.  The next call I received was from him a day or two later. He was calling from a local grocery store.

"Sue, (that was his nickname for me) I need your help. I got busted at the Marsh store on Washington Street. Guess I'm not  good at shop lifting.  They are taking me in for processing and I need you to come get my bike.  They won't let me keep it in the store so I've locked it up outside. Please?  I need you to do this for me cause otherwise some one will steal it.  Sue?  Pick up?"

He turned to ask the officer the address of the store and proceeded to tell me where the bike was at. I was just getting off of work so I swung by the house to pick up some cable cutters  

On my drive over, I called the motel.  I had become acquainted with the desk clerk, we were on a first name basis.  "Hey Rodney, it's Cindy.  Barry just got picked up for shop lifting and I'm headed over to get his bike.  Can I swing by and have you open his room so I can put it in there?"

"Sorry, I can't open the room unless your name is on the paperwork. I saw him leaving this  morning. He didn't have money for his room for tomorrow so he was headed out on his bike. He was going to pawn some tools he had."

"Really?  Well, can I drop it off and you keep it in the lobby for him?"

"Nope, can't do that either."

Well, so much for making this easy on me.  I found the grocery store and just as he had said, it was chained out front. I went inside to talk to the manager and inform him that I was there to get the bike.  He said Barry was a nice guy, but had gotten caught stealing an eleven dollar steak.  The interesting thing was the steak was on clearance.  If you are going to steal a steak, go for the one that is fresh, hell, why go to jail for meat that is hours from creating a case of food poisoning for you.

I had on  a turquoise dress, three inch heels, jewelry and looked unlike your typical thug that day.  As I pulled up in my Lincoln, the rain came down  in buckets.  I jumped out of the car and grabbed my cable cutters.  They make it look so easy in the movies, one snap and the bike was mine, but there were no camera crews filming, just customers filing in to the store to pick up their groceries. I could not cut through this cable. I cut through the plastic, but the cable was twisted and difficult to cut. I must have stood there for fifteen minutes working on this, struggling to cut through the cord.

I found it peculiar that no one stopped to confront me.  Here I was "stealing" this bike, but perhaps the way I was dressed or the car I was driving didn't reek of gangsters. I was soaking wet.  Finally a  black man stopped by and asked if he could help me. He took the cable cutters and in one click, snapped the cable, put the bike in the back of my car and wished me a happy day.  No questions, just happy to help a fellow human in need.

I jumped in my car and realized I needed to buy a birthday cake for one of my staff members who was celebrating her birthday the next day. I parked the car and went inside, stopping in the restroom to wash my hands. I picked up a cake, paid for it and headed back to my car.  As I stepped out of the store, a police car was driving slowly by, as if they were looking for someone and as I looked in the other direction, I discovered several police cars scanning the lot.
I am not stupid, I knew who they were looking for.

I got in the car and drove out towards the police car that was parked in the front of the lot.  Rolling my window down, I asked if he was looking for some one who "stole a bike?" As a matter of fact, he was.  They had gotten several phone calls from customers entering the store.

I introduced myself and explained the circumstances of the bike  heist.  He happened to be the officer who arrested Barry, so he knew a phone call had been placed to me.  He requested my identification and noted it on his pad. This really could not be happening to me, but it was.

He told me what I could expect the rest of the night.  What is involved in processing a person, bail, time frames.  It was all quite new to me.  I thanked him for his time and left.  If Barry thought I was bailing him out, he had another thing coming!  I drove back to the seedy motel and considered leaving his bike.  I knew he had some girl staying with him off and on to help pay for the room, so I had hoped that I would find her there.  Outside of his room was a ceiling camera.  I don't know why I noticed this, but I am just always aware of my surroundings.

His room was  on the ground floor and I had seen him crawl through the window when he had forgotten his key. The window was not secured at all, so I thought I'd slide it open and drop the bike inside.  Unfortunately, he had blocked it so I couldn't. I did glimpse inside and took note of the condition of the room, again, don't know why, just did.

I headed home, bike in tow and waited for the call.  I would have to deliver this some time sooner than later.  The call came at two in the morning.  Barry was beside himself.  He said he had been sprung from the joint at midnight and hitched a ride with some chick who took him to the Marsh store to pick up his bike and "some one stole it!" He went on to tell me some one had tossed his room and stolen all the tools I had bought him. He was weaving quite a tale and I let him.  When he was all done, I suggested he go to the front desk and have them watch the surveillance camera and he'd catch himself taking his tools out to the pawn shop that afternoon at two.  I described the condition of his room and suggested that no one had tossed it when I had been there several hours before.

"Sue, do you have my bike, man, I knew some one would steal it!" I should have played with his mind, but it was two in the morning. I reminded him he had called and I had done what he asked of me.  I told him about my close call with the officer who arrested him as well.

He on the other hand got off without a slap on the hand. The Judge had been called for midnight court and was running late.  I told him I already knew this as the processing unit had called me to confirm the information he had given them.  It was quite an exciting night at the Klebusch Kabin. They let him go as the Judge didn't have time to hear every case, just the ones over a certain dollar amount.  I knew this as well too.  I told him I'd bring his bike over in a couple of days and hung up.

My life was not boring, that is for sure. I learned more that summer about the ins and outs of lifestyles that I would never want to resort to, but so many live it every day.

Sleep is a necessity in life, sleeping too much is a waste of time

Within weeks after Barry was on the curb of his former room mates, I had an appointment for a sleep study.  I still  slept most of the day and the doctor's thought it was my thyroid.  I finally got their attention when I was in the office and fell asleep sitting up on the exam table within minutes of them leaving and returning to the room. 

A sleep study was ordered to see why I slept so much.  The thought process was I might have sleep apnea. Barry had been living at my house for two weeks and I was apprehensive about going in over night to the hospital for this study, but I needed it done and someone to watch Puppers.

I went in at 9:30 that evening and prayed every thing would still be there the next morning.  He hadn't given me any reason to not trust him at this point, but I was still skeptical. The room where the sleep study was performed was like a five star hotel.  I was wired up for testing and informed to just do what I normally do.  Within minutes, I was asleep.  I slept for six hours when they woke me up at five in the morning.

I  had passed the night time sleep study, so they needed to keep me for the day time sleep study.  I called my boss to tell him I would not be in the office and informed Barry as well.  The technician explained the "rules" of the study. I would be allowed to sleep for twenty minutes every two hours.  If I fell asleep within those two hours, I would have to come back another day for testing.

First, I felt fully rested and I couldn't imagine I'd be able to fall asleep every two hours! But what was I going to do? I was wired up to this machine and held hostage in a nice room with a flat screen television and a book.  Some would say I was in heaven.

My next "nap" was at seven.  I doubted I would be able to sleep, but at six forty five, I was begging them to start the test early.  Fifteen minutes later they calibrated the equipment and whispered in the microphone that I could sleep.  Twenty minutes later, they woke me up and again, I couldn't imagine I'd be tired in two more hours.

Breakfast was served after my first morning siesta.  Breakfast in bed, could you beat this?  My next siesta was at nine.  Again, fighting to keep my eyes open for ten minutes before this next round was a struggle.  Twenty minutes later, they woke me up. After my eleven o'clock siesta, lunch was prepared and served.  I could almost get used to this!

My last siesta was at three in the afternoon and by four, I was free to go.  I failed the day time study.  The testing revealed I could fall into a deep sleep called REM (rapid eye movement) any where from twenty seconds to the longest, one minute and forty five seconds.  A normal person takes up to ninety minutes to reach this stage of the sleep pattern. I was diagnosed with narcolepsy. I was a mess.  I had been diagnosed a few years earlier with restless legs, so I had been sleep deprived at one point in my life and now, I was catching up on lost sleep, by sleeping all the time.

I was referred to a neurologist for this disorder.  The first doctor I saw prescribed Ritalin. In adults who suffer from narcolepsy, this acts as a form of speed.  In children, it enables one to stay focused, especially those who suffer from attention deficient disorders. 

After several months, I was having all kinds of issues and had no idea what they stemmed from. The only thing I had changed was to add this pill to my morning regime.  Before I called the doctor though about the side effects I was having, I researched them on the medications I was already on.  I wasn't on but a couple and every one of them had the same side effects.  My conclusion was I had not had these before, so the Ritalin must have been the trigger.

I made an appointment with the neurologist and took in my research spread sheet.  I had listed the medications I was on, each side effect, the common denominator's and how long I'd been on each with no side effects, then the introduction of the new medication and the appearance of the new symptoms. My conclusion, I was having side effects of the Ritalin.

I laid out the spread sheet so the doctor could review it.  He was an arrogant man and informed me I shouldn't take and list the side effects and think about them.  In other words, he thought I was a hypochondriac! I went from calm to irritated in seconds.  I know my body and I know when some thing is not right.  He was not listening.  Just like the other doctor's who claimed nothing was wrong when I brought to their attention I was sleeping more than normal.

I switched doctors.  In my profession, I work with many doctor's and knew of a neurologist that had done miracles on several of my workers compensation claimants.  I made an appointment and she ran a few tests.  She concluded that I had narcolepsy and I was having side effects from the Ritalin.  She prescribed other medication and scheduled a follow up.  

The next follow up was within six months and it was winter time.  I wore a fur coat I had bought at a vintage shop.  It was not real, but apparently it looked real. She came into the exam room and instantly she had an attitude.  She just sat there staring at  me.

"What are you here for today?"  Her tone of voice confirmed her body language, she was having a bad day, or she did not approve of some thing.

"You wanted me to come in for a follow up."  One would think you should reference your chart to see why I was there? Just saying, I don't go to doctor's just for some thing to do.

"I certainly hope that animal you are wearing is keeping you warm!" Yes, there it was, she was upset that I had on a fur coat.  I wanted to tell her it was fake, but she had just pulled the pissed off trigger and I was ready to cut loose.

Her exam was not thorough at all.  She sat there in disgust at what I wore so I thought I'd give her a little bit of her own medicine. "Nice shoes, leather I presume? Wonder how many cows were killed for that pair?"  

I got up and left. Doctor's are a dime a dozen and I found her when I was treating with someone else, wasn't going to be a problem finding another. The next doctor I found was a dream come true. He is a caring and considerate physician.  He took time to listen to my full history and I mean listened because he manage to figure out I had more than narcolepsy going on in my life.

I had worn night splints on both hands for over fifteen years.  If I didn't, I would experience symptoms similar to carpal tunnel.  I had been wearing a bite guard for over ten years, ever since Chappy and I were going through a divorce and I suffered the intense jaw pain.  The doctor suggested I was just "wound a little more tightly than others" and a muscle relaxer at night would assist in relaxing me to a point I could rest without fighting it.

He suggested I take one half of this pill and was confident it would knock me out as it did his other patients. The first night, I took a half and nothing happened, not even sleep. The next night, I took a whole one and still nothing.  This went on for a long time.  I currently take four of these muscle relaxers at night and I can sleep roughly four to five hours and still be functional the next day. The doctor finds it hard to believe that I can take so many along with the medication for my restless legs and still function.  He thinks I should be in a coma, but as he said, I am tightly wound.

The best part of this is that I have not worn wrist splints in over two years.  I still need the bite guard as I grind my teeth while I sleep, but that is a small token to pay for four to five hours of sleep.

Sleep is needed to function and knowing what I know today, it was probably an issue long before it was discovered.  Lack of sleep or rest creates many other problems, especially with day to day life. It creates an urge to eat carbohydrates to boost your energy level, which can add weight. It makes you feel sluggish, which can reduce your activity levels. It can make it difficult to focus, which can develop in to problems of getting things accomplished.

I am driven.  It is my nature and so that has helped me work through this, but there are days, after long periods of time with limited sleep, that I crash and can spend the day doing nothing.  This manifests in to guilt. I feel guilty if I am not accomplishing some thing as my list of things to do grows greater each day.

Why are we so hard on ourselves? It is because we feel we are expected to achieve greater things? Are we trying to please others who look up or down to us? I find myself working against the clock, trying to achieve more in a day than most can accomplish in a week.  Why?  I know it will be there tomorrow, but so will many other things.  I need to learn to stop and smell the roses before it is too late.

I have taken time since Bill's death to do just that, but I need to do it more. Life is a gift that should be cherished.  You are given life by your mother and father, how you treat it, depends on how long you are blessed with it. 

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I was turning forty nine in 2009. Shortly after my birthday I had to have some drywall work done.  I can do drywall work, but I was tired.  I still was sleeping  more than normal and didn't have energy to do much, let a lone stay focused on any task I started. 

I hired a man looking for work off of Craigslist.  He would do the job for twenty dollars a hour and anticipated it would take a few hours. We had exchanged emails and spoke on the phone agreeing to meet.  He was living with a couple that he had met in Denver and they were moving back to Indianapolis, so he came a long with them.  They shared a car and he could only meet me on Sunday.

Sunday came and it was raining hard when the door bell rang. He was drenched.  The couple refused to let him use their car and so he rode his bike over to my home.  He lived about two miles from my house. I was impressed that instead of calling, he made every effort to show up on time. We headed to the store to get the materials needed and he started repairing the ceiling. He had to allow the repair to dry and would need to come back the next evening.  We had chatted for several hours while he was working and shared life stories.  He had told me he was a recovering drug addict and had been clean for nine years. His name was Barry.

He shared with me the story of how he met his "roommates" and that times were tough for all of them.  They were living in low income apartments and he was trying to find day jobs to meet his obligations to the monthly bills.

He headed out on his bike and I told him the next evening I would come pick him up after I got off from work. That day I had checked Craigslist again and discovered an ad for help. The person placing the ad was requesting assistance with food as her husband and room mate were struggling to make ends meet.  She signed it Juli.  When I picked Barry up, I asked him if the ad on Craigslist was the "Juli" that he had spoke of the night before.  He said, "Yes."

He came over and worked more on the drywall.  I told him to stop and I'd take him to the grocery store to get he and his room mates groceries.  He was so grateful for my kindness as I took him back to his home.  He took bags of food in to the apartment and I could tell that there was some tension between him and his room mates, but it was none of my business.  I was just helping out someone who was in a rough patch, times were tough as many had lost jobs and the economy had taken a dive.

I had one more night to pick him up and the job would be done.  That evening he shared with me that he found all of his jobs on Craigslist and if he did any thing that irritated Juli, she would not share with him any emails he may have received in response to his posts for work.

I asked why he didn't have his own email account and he stated he had no idea how to set one up. I sat him down and set up an email account for him and showed him how to navigate the web. Together, we plotted out a plan to post in several different categories to give him a greater market to draw from.  We were done and it was close to midnight.  He thanked me time and time again for helping him.  I drove him home anticipating never to see him again.

I pulled up in front of the apartment that was on the ground floor and noticed a sign on the door of his apartment. "What is the sign on the door for?"

He didn't think much of it, "The management will put signs on the doors  to notify you of things going on in the community."

"Why is your door the only door with a sign on?"  It was about this time I noticed boxes and items piled up outside the door under the stair well to the second floor.  He became panicked and jumped from the car.  He ripped the sign off the door and looked behind him to see the items thrown carelessly in a pile.  I sat in the car wondering what was going on when a tap came on the drivers door.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm looking for a man." It was the security guard of the complex.

"I think he might have just gone around the building."  I should have rolled the window up and drove away, but I sat there thinking he might need help. Some days my big heart needs to be cut out and replaced with a hardened  one. 

The security guard waited for him to return. He was visibly upset when he came from around the building with his bike. The guard informed him the couple living in the apartment had called security and wanted him removed from the premises He just stood there in disbelief.  The guard told him he had to leave the property.  Here sat all this stuff and a man with a bike.  Who wouldn't help?

I told him to pack his stuff in my car and he could address this in the morning when the office of the complex opened up. I had lost my mind.  To bring this complete stranger into my home, but where would he have gone?  He was new to the area and he didn't have a car, he rode a bike. He couldn't move all of his belongings on a bike!

I don't think I slept a wink that night wondering where my mind had disappeared. One minute it was there and the next minute it fell out and I was totally unaware of it. 

The next morning, I took him back to the complex and he was given grave news, his name was not on the lease and technically he did not have a right  to live there.  He had no where to go.  He had no money. Every day when he made money, he was to hand it over to Juli so she could pay bills or buy groceries. He came back to the car beaten. He had no idea what he would do. I made a suggestion, he could live with me until he had some money to find a place of his own.  For now, I had to get to work.  I did not want him in my house while I was at work, so I returned him to the house and gave him his bike.  He needed to go find work.

I came home that night and he appeared shortly after. He'd been out on his bike all day and nothing to show for it.  But he did check his email when he came in and had a job the next day.  I took him and picked him up after I got off of work.  He worked steadily for a couple of weeks by the ads we had placed on Craigslist.  Mentally, I kept track of the money he was earning and when I thought he had enough, I was going to cut him lose.

I suggested he find other employment besides day jobs, but I was about to learn of a whole different life style that I had never seen or experienced.  He did not have a driver's license, hence the bicycle.  Fifty years old and that had been his sole transportation for over twelve years. He had lost his license years ago for failure to pay child support in Washington State.  He had twin sons that he had lost custody of to the State due to his drug history.  The mother of these children also lost custody due to the same behavior.

He had been in prison for four or five years due to multiple charges but had been free for several according to him.  I became suspicious and ran a background check on him. Imagine my surprise when I discovered he was a fugitive!  I contacted the State of Washington to inform them I knew where he was, if they had an interest, but was informed it would cost more to return him to the State than it was worth to them.  I confronted him that night. He was cooking dinner and I was sitting at the kitchen counter when I casually dropped the news I had come upon.  Actually, I set it up to see if he'd be honest and he was. He told me what I already knew.

He had been working  and I suspected he had about two or three  hundred dollars.  I figured one thousand dollars would be sufficient to get him a place of his own.  I had shown him the Monon Trail which is a paved pathway that can take you from where I live eleven miles to downtown Indianapolis.  He would often get on the trail and look for work, or so he said.

One particular day he was not home when I got there and I had not heard from him. He hadn't worked in several days and I was getting impatient.  He showed up around six that evening  and I had locked the doors.  We had struck a deal, he was to look for work and keep in touch with me through out the day.  He had not been doing it.  He came to the front door knocking and I refused to answer.  He continued,  I opened up the window next to the front door and was  not surprised to see he was unable to look me in the eye and when he did, he was not in the right frame of mind.

He claimed he had been riding on the Monon and his wallet flipped out of his back pocket when he pulled on his shirt.  When  he noticed it was gone he went back and all his money was gone, his wallet ripped and thrown in a trash receptacle.  He held his wallet out as a means to prove to me his story was worthy.

"I don't believe you. They took all your money, but left your social security card and Identification? Do you know how much those two documents are worth to someone?  Have you heard of identification theft? No, of course not, they left the two things that you need but could not replace."

He refused to admit what he had really done with the money but I knew it had not been stolen.  I went outside and talked to him for some time about my disappointment in him and that this situation was not long term.  He was doing a lot of dry wall work, but  he didn't have tools of his own, so if some one wanted to hire him that didn't  have tools, he couldn't take the job.

I bought him some basic tools to help him, not much but enough for him to do what he did best. He found a job helping a slum lord prepare a house for rent.  No matter where he worked, when I would go to pick him up, everyone said the same thing, he was a hard worker and very picky about his work product.  I knew this as I had hired him myself.  A Saturday afternoon came,  he had ridden his bike to one job and needed to report to the rental property that afternoon.  I was sick and didn't feel like driving him, so I allowed him to take my car.  I knew he didn't have a license, but he had about eight hundred dollars and one more week of working on this job, he could  move on.  He'd been in my home for over six weeks.

He called at seven to say he was wrapping up and I never heard from him again.  I was frantic.  He wouldn't answer his phone and he had my car.  I debated about calling the police, but I didn't, not yet, I knew  he wouldn't steal the car, some thing had to be wrong.  I am a good judge of character, most of the time.

Six thirty in the morning, the doorbell rang.  He didn't have a key to my home.  He sat on the  stoop, head dropped, tears in his eyes.  I was upset, but I was glad to know he was safe.  He admitted that he had done some thing stupid.  He had run into people that he used to party with and had spent the night at their apartment.  He had blown his money, eight hundred dollars on an eight ball.  

I had no idea what this was, were we playing pool?  No, an eight ball is cocaine.  He bought some and "shared" it.  I couldn't help but ask him, ' Are you just fucking stupid? You have worked for weeks to get this money and you blow it on an eight ball?  Just how long do you stay high for eight hundred dollars?"

"Thirty minutes."  I was shocked.  People do this every day? Hard earned money snorted and not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out, their whole life wrapped around thirty minutes of what they called bliss. He was back to square A, not a penny in his pocket.

The Queen Enjoys the Land of Her People

We went on the Rock and Roll cruise. I am the first to say, it was a disappointment.  Perhaps because it was on a Tuesday night, two days before Thanksgiving.  I can not imagine this boat owner continuing this sinking ship if the entertainment was the same we had experienced.  He was the Captain, the bartender and the entertainment.  It was cool and windy the

Captain, Bartender, Singer
with Cindy and Tanya

night we hopped on board so dancing while the boat was rocking was not an option.  Remember, I am on vacation, this is normal for me to experience such luck. My feng shui apparently was left behind on the mainland, my positive chi was not present with me on the islands.

We went to a show to see American Idol, Jasmine Trias. I will give you this, that girl could sing. Our travels took us to Germaine's Luau where we experienced the most tender pork you could imagine.  The imu, which is an underground oven is covered in leaves that are removed during a ritual of dancing and chanting.  The aroma of this pig is mouth watering.

Luau Entertainment

As you dine, the kane (men) and wahine (women) entertain you with colorful dances of the Pacific.  It is truly entertaining not to mention how wonderful the food was. We were able to see the country side as we drove from Waikiki to Kapolei. I couldn't imagine living on an island and not being able to go any further than one end to the other,  but I love to visit them.

Getting ready for our evening was always filled with laughter.  I can get ready in less than thirty minutes, Tanya, well she has the "hair" thing that most women have.  I was very fortunate to be born with natural curly hair, wash, rinse and fly, it's the only way to go. As I would wait for her, I had to find some thing to keep me preoccupied.  One evening, I decided to shower last, giving her more time to prep and me less time to wait.  I walked out of the bathroom dressed in towels and announced I was ready for the evening.  She glanced over her shoulder as she was digging for something in her suitcase, which finally had arrived to the islands.  She had to do a double take as she noticed I had the bath towel around my waist and the two hand towels over my shoulders like suspenders, tucked into the waist skirt.  We could not stop laughing at the crazy things I think of and carry out!

Holiday Bed Dress

The best night though was Thanksgiving.  I was bored waiting so I conjured up my holiday wardrobe using the bedding. She is a great companion to travel with.  We both are so laid back and do not feel the need to be stuck to an itinerary. I am a little more daring than she is, but she keeps me from doing crazy things. She was in charge of my camera several times for that Kodak  moment to remember our travels to the Pacific.  Every shot she took was blurred.  I have now banned her from being the Queen's personal photographer.

Our travels took us to the flea market.  I was told this was the only place to shop on the  island if you were looking for a bargain.  I agree, the prices of items at the flea market were far less than at the ABC store or any other tourist trap you find.

Flea Market Floozie

Tanya discovered my hidden talent. As we were strolling down aisle after aisle, she found me humming and strumming for my people. She had no idea I knew how to play the ukulele. I had to remind her often it was the instrument of my land and who better to play than the Queen her self!

Our week was too short, but we both agreed, the trip was one of the best and we had found traveling companions in one another.  This marked the maiden voyage of many travels for the two of us.

Hawaii Bound

I had wanted to go to Hawaii for years.  When Chappy and  I divorced, I demanded  half of his frequent flier points and was awarded same.  I figured since he flew so much to be away from me, I should at least benefit from that. Most airlines charge you twenty five thousand points for one free ticket. I had enough for two free tickets and have points left over, or so I thought, to fly to Hawaii, the ticket was fifty thousand points. I exchanged my points for a free ticket for me and the rest of the points so Tanya could get a discounted ticket.

A regular ticket was going to run about sixteen hundred dollars, but with my points, Tanya was able to fly for much less than that. I scoured the Internet for deals and found a week at a hotel just across the street from the beach.  This was a celebration of life, so  we rented a limo to pick us up to transport us to the airport. Our flight was early.  I don't think I even slept that night.  

Limo Express

The limo arrived and we were off. I had no doubt that we would have a memorable trip.  It is all in the small details. I had a folder with all our travel documents to insure I knew where we were going and how to contact them if there were issues.  Remember, I do not have the best of luck when I go on vacation.

We wore velour pants and jackets.  I only mention this because it results in a comical moment later. The flight is long, eleven hours, we were too excited by the time we got there to realize we were in a different time zone and sleep would be difficult. During the flight, I had to use the rest room, when I returned to the seat, I had the most horrific news to deliver to my traveling companion.

"I think from the waist down, I could be your sister." She looked at  me wondering where this was headed. Tanya has learned, you never know what to expect to come from my mouth. I am quit witted and funny.  She was one of many who suggested I write this book or do stand up comedy.

"Really?' She was looking skeptical, I'm not sure why, I would not lie about something this serious.

"Yes!" I raised my pant leg to reveal legs as black as the Ace of Spades.  The dye had transferred from my pants to my legs "Look, what if it doesn't come out? I'm going to look like a double stuffed Oreo cookie, black legs, white gut and black hair! What am I going to do?"

She could not stop laughing, neither could I. I had warned her going on vacation with me was a crap shoot as nothing ever went right, whether I was faced with tropical storms, hurricanes or bladder infections in a third world country. We arrived in beautiful Hawaii only to discover my luck would continue. Tanya's luggage was lost. The authorities thought it was just "lost" in the terminal and then much later informed us it might still be in Atlanta where we had to change planes. Regardless, they would deliver it where we were staying, "Where might that be?"

Ohau' Airport

I reached in to my bag for the folder which contained our itinerary and the location of our hotel, it was not there, I had forgotten it on the counter at home.  I went in to panic mode! It had all our information on accommodations, our Thanksgiving dinner plans, transportation, it was my memory back up! "We are staying at a hotel, Waikiki some thing."

The woman looked at me, I am almost sure she was thinking, "Stupid tourist!" Thank goodness she only said, "Ma'am, most all of our resorts are Waikiki "some thing." This is Waikiki Beach."

I knew that it was within walking distance or next to the Zoo and so I shared that with her, that would narrow it down. "Ma'am, every thing is within walking distance or near the Zoo." I was striking out big time with my powerful knowledge of Oahu's  geography.

She made a few calls to discover we were booked at Waikiki Resort. We had missed our free transportation so rented a taxi, in five o'clock traffic. At last we were at the hotel and checking into our room. It had been a very long day, but the night life was just beginning in Waikiki.  We headed to our room to unpack, well for me to unpack. Tanya had nothing to change in to as her luggage probably would not arrive until the next flight came in from Atlanta.

At Last - We Made It!

Our room was a disappointment. She went to use the bathroom only to discover the pipe under the sink was missing and all the water drained on to the bathroom floor.  My only concern, I needed to see if I could wash the black off of me, I had heard it was near impossible, but I was determined to reclaim my white legs once more. As I was sitting on the edge of the tub, black dye streaming down the drain, staining every thing I touched black, Tanya was ranting about the room.  No light bulb, to small, plumbing not up to code, so I suggested we call the front desk and see if we could move.  

Our Room

She headed down to the front desk as I continued my search for white legs. When I was done, I walked down to the desk to find Tanya's head a bobbing and a weaving, oh, this was not good.  Tanya is like me, very calm and collected. I walked up to discover they could put us in another room for a slight up charge of sixty eight dollars a piece.  We were there for a week and the room they had put us in was smaller than a postage stamp. We paid the extra money and were escorted to our new suite.  It was such an improvement!  I unpacked and we took off on our first adventure, to see what the strip held for us and to grab a bite to eat.

I did not envy Tanya.  We had no idea when her bag would arrive, but they were hopeful by noon the next day. We headed out to see if we could find some thing that she could change in to that was not as warm as the velour suits we had on.  Our first stop, ABC Store. As we walked in, I was  getting in  vacation mode, James Brown was playing, Get on the Good Foot and I was jiving in the aisles promising Tanya we needed to Get on the Good, not the bad foot we were currently on and get funky! My new found skin color infused me with some  soul and fancy foot work.  We could not stop laughing.

ABC on every corner

We walked down the strip and every other door was an ABC store! I kid you not. As I recall, there are thirty seven locations in a one  mile radius of Waikiki alone. Each store, no different than the rest, small convenience stores  offering a little bit of every thing for the shopper in you.  At one particular intersection, we found an ABC on every corner! It became a joke with us.  We stopped and grabbed a bite to eat and walked the strip to see what the week held for us in adventures.

We signed up to take a Rock and Roll cruise, bought tickets to see Pearl Harbor, planned a night to experience a luau, a day to take in the world famous flea market at Aloha Stadium and beach time.  Our beach time was limited though, I was on vacation and the weather was overcast.  We spent on day laying on the beach, Thanksgiving. 

Every night we'd walk the strip and watch the people.  The sidewalks were filled with natives entertaining the crowds for cash. You didn't have to walk far to find the next act and while some were the same each night, you might find a new one on the curb to catch your attention. 

Room with a View

The Queen Kapiolani Hotel was right behind where we stayed.  I had to go see what this Queen K was all about as I am the Queen and my last name starts with a K.  I kept telling Tanya I was there to "visit my people" and as usual she thought I was blowing smoke up her nose, but she witnessed it and she will tell any one we meet about the day we went to the Queen K Hotel.

As we walked back to take in the hotel named after the most powerful wife on the islands, I was two or three steps in front of Tanya.  My legs are long,  I am always ahead of any group I am in, it was nothing else, but before me came a young woman who was listening to music on her Ipod, she looked up, spotted me and stopped, bowing to me and asking me if she could sing me a song.  Silly girl!  I wanted to whisper to her "Not here, I am incognito, don't bring attention to  me you silly peasant" but it was too late, Tanya had witnessed the woman wishing to sing to the Queen.  It didn't just happen once, it happened on the way back to our hotel, another person stopped bowing to me and wishing to sing. Tanya was in awe, I? Just another day in the park for this Queen.

Some Years Are Just so Great!!

In 2008, I was turning forty eight. The year was full of friends, fun and firsts.  My father was turning seventy five and I was not able to travel to Florida to celebrate, so I organized a "card" party to surprise him. With the help of many, I was able to shower him with over fifty birthday cards and lots of well wishes from those who live in his community.  He was so surprised by all the attention and had no idea I was the one who organized this.  

In my attempt to pull this off, I reached out to people he had worked with at General Motors as well as those he played golf with and ran the Monday night Bingo, I reunited with a "child" of one of my father's co-workers.  Her father worked with my Dad and they often came to the cottage over the years.   She was four when I first met her, I was fourteen and I often babysat her when our parents went snowmobiling. 

Cindy, Karie & Christopher

After I married Killer, I would make plans to pick her up to take her and Worm roller skating. She was two years younger than Worm and both had challenging  childhoods. I had not seen her in years and often wondered what happened to her.  Her parents had shown up at my brother's funeral, but I didn't have much time to visit. My  parents did and had secured their email.  Dad had shared with me the card and letter he had received from their daughter and I reconnected with her soon after.

She was living in Arkansas and attending college.  She was thirty eight years old and had a nine year old son. She was struggling. After we had spoken a few times, I suggested she come visit me in Indiana.  She didn't have transportation  to make the journey, so I rented her a car and she and her son came to spend Spring Break with me.

Jewelry Show

Her son, Christopher was such a charmer and we grew very close that week.  He learned as all children around me do, if I say some thing, I mean it.  He and I had a week of challenges as he knew how to wrap his mom around his finger,  but not Cindy. The first day they arrived, they had driven straight through and she was tired.  I took Christopher out for lunch to get to know him.  His clothes were too short for him, his shoes needed to be replaced, so we went shopping and he got spoiled and I learned all about Pokemon.

I spent the week transforming his mom. I taught her how to coordinate her  clothes, accessorize her wardrobe, updated her makeup and taught her how to do her hair.  She had never had any one spend time with her to show her these simple things.  I knew I had been been successful when Christopher told his mom she "was beautiful."  He had never told her that before and she was so touched by the special attention I had showered both of them with.

Jewelry Show

Our birthdays all fell in the same week, so we got dressed up and went to dinner to celebrate before they headed back home.  By the end of the week, Christopher wanted to know if he could call me Aunt Cindy because he didn't have anyone who cared for him like I had.

In May of that year, I decided to try selling the jewelry I had been making.  My intentions were to just make jewelry for myself, but when ever I wore it, I always had so many compliments, more than when I wore costume jewelry or my own expensive pieces.

I set my garage up for my first show and invited ten to twelve friends over for a trunk show.  I was so surprised when I sold over fifteen hundred dollars, that I started to think I might consider selling this in other avenues, but I had no idea what to do or how to go about it, plus the recession was hitting so not many were interested in spending money. If I was going to do this, I had to be smart about it.

Bus trip to Chicago

I had many firsts as well, I was invited to join friends at a new restaurant that had not opened, but was having friends and family in to "practice" before the doors opened to the public.  I took the train trip to a town north of here for pizza. And I took a bus trip to Chicago with a bunch of women in the

Granite City Opening

insurance industry to spend the day on the million dollar mile. 

I had gone back to see the psychic. The card I had selected was the magician. It meant that all the tools were in front of me to do what I wanted. Mark told me that I was very creative and  was  thinking, analyzing and researching a project that I needed to just do and I'd be successful  I had never mentioned that I was doing all of this over making jewelry.

He told me he saw a large group of friends with me off to the side and they  would accept me now forgiving and forgetting rumors from years ago.  I had no idea what he was talking about, but soon, I'd be attending my thirtieth reunion.  I would reunite with classmates that I had not seen nor spoke to in thirty years. I was hesitant to go alone as I did not have fond memories of high school, but an old friend contacted me through Face book and we agreed we'd go face our demons together.

Having Fun In Chicago

I drove up to Haslett to meet my old friend.  I had not seen him in years, but discovered he had lived across the street from Killer shortly after I moved out and had lived just blocks away when I was living there.  It really is such a small world.

We stayed up all night catching up on the past thirty years. It was as if no time had passed between us.  He really didn't want to go to the reunion, so we made a pact, we'd check  on each other through the night and if either of us felt the urge to leave, we'd go.  We ended up being in the group of the last to leave.

Deb & I reunite

It was an interesting night for both of us.  I reconnected with those that I was close to in school, my partner in crime had driven up to attend as well, she was living in Louisiana at this point in her life. I even faced one of those boys that made my life so miserable in school and he was no different that night, but I was more confident than I had been thirty plus years ago and he didn't stand a chance that night with his crude remarks. It was nice to see others and how we had matured from those days at Dewitt High School

I traded in my car that I had bought just before Bill  died.  I had bought the car on line, it was a 2004 Buick Rendezvous. He was the only man who did not take issue with my purchasing a car without his assistance.  I bought a 2008

Love Note from B

Lincoln MKX and just loved it.  The Henshaw in me came out, I put every piece of chrome on this car imaginable and decked the inside out with any thing you could buy on the market to spruce it up.  It reminded me of Killer and how he would drop so much money into a car making it different than what he bought.

2008 Lincoln

Two thousand and eight was a great year, but one of the best parts? I finally made it to Hawaii.  I needed to use the airline tickets that I had been awarded from my divorce seven years earlier. 
They would expire if I didn't take advantage of them. I had hired a woman a year earlier at work and we hit it off. I wanted to go the week of Thanksgiving and most people are unable to travel that week due to family obligations.  I suggested she go with me to Hawaii, but she had a large family that she'd have to cook for.  I just loved her response, "They can cook their own meal this year." We were on our way to paradise.  Life was good.

An Advanced Degree in Medicine? You can still make mistakes

I had noticed a difference in the way I felt, but wasn't sure what it was.  If I rolled over in bed, I'd get sick to my stomach.   If I turned my head to quick, I'd get dizzy.  I was sleeping twenty four seven.  I could fall asleep in seconds if I was not moving. I found it difficult to "walk a straight" line.  I just felt I had lost my center.

I developed what I refer to as the "pink elephant" syndrome.  I have always been focused, but I would start a task and the pink elephant would walk by and I'd follow him. Never finishing any thing I started. My vision started to be blurred and bright lights really bothered me, especially at night if I was driving.

A month after I fell, I decided I needed to have this checked out.  I am not one to go to the emergency room as I figure that is for emergencies, not paper cuts, but there was seriously some thing wrong. I drove to the hospital and checked in.  I was put in to a room immediately. The doctor came in and took my history and was confident he knew what it was.

Love Notes from B

After his examination, he thought the impact had dislodged a crystal in my inner ear that traveled to my middle ear that was creating the issues with my equilibrium.  It made sense.  Imagine a pinball machine and the ball traveling down the board, each time it hit a sensor, a dinging heard.  This crystal was the ball and each time I felt the uneasiness, it was hitting a nerve, so every movement of my head, created this disturbance. But he wanted to run tests.  I understand running tests, but the tests came back negative, so he sent me to a specialist.  

I was seen by a neurosurgeon, who, after his examination, came to the same conclusion, but was more interested  in talking to me about my job and that he would like to expand  his business more in the workers compensation arena. He prescribed physical therapy.  His idea? I'd have to learn to walk again to gain my balance once more.  I went to therapy one day, the therapist directed me to these bars and wanted me to walk from one end to the other for five minutes. She went to help some one else.  Are you kidding me?  You think this is going to cure my issue, walking back and forth between two bars?   Learning to find my balance again on balance bars was absurd! I walked out.

I drove to Florida that year, two months after I fell. I'd been to the doctor but they were of no help to me. Every year  I drive to Florida to visit my parents. Over the years, I have chosen to drive through the night as the traffic is not as intense in the larger metropolitan areas. I leave around six at night and pull into my parents sixteen hours later. This year though I was miserable. Any movement to check my mirrors or blind spot threw me into a dizzy spell.  The head lights of oncoming traffic increased the pressure in my head. I made it to the Florida state line and was in tears.  I called my parents, I was four hours from their front door.  I had to stop, but when I start this trip, I am determined to get there, so I put on sunglasses and continued my trip south bound.

Love Note from B

When I drove back home, I had to figure out what was wrong.  I slept more than sixteen hours a day and on weekends, I slept non stop.  No one listened to me.  I had been to my family physician and he suggested I had the same thing the other doctors had spoke of, but he sent me to neurologist who specialized in eyes and ears.

I had lost faith in doctors, but this doctor restored it.  He asked me what my symptoms were and then had me lay down and sit up real fast.  I hated this, every doctor made me do it and it made me sick to my stomach.  He quickly pulled out a flashlight and pointed it in to my eyes. This doctor knew how to inflict pain!  He wanted to give me a hearing test first.  Can you believe it?  A hearing test!  He needed it though to confirm his diagnosis.  My hearing was perfect so he promised me in twenty minutes I'd be back to normal.  His diagnosis was exactly what the ER doctor had told me. I had dislodged a crystal and his plan was to return it to my inner ear and the dizziness would disappear.

The treatment was bizarre.  I laid on a table while a technician took a three prong vibrator like you'd find in any store and placed it behind my right ear, which is where they figured the problem was.  I started on my right side while she placed this vibrator behind my ear, every few minutes I turned to my stomach, left side and finally on my back.  When she was done, I had to sit up quickly and that was it. I was cured.  The only think I  needed to do was to sit upright for forty eight hours to insure the crystal settled in to the inner ear and embedded itself in to the wax.

I had bought a sleep number bed that I could raise the head and foot of. I slept in a V for two nights and the dizziness was gone.  Within sixty hours of this treatment, my neighbor, Louie and I went to the Colts Football game. We had a great time, but on the way back to the car, I missed a curb and lost my balance falling into a brick wall.  People just kept walking over me and not stopping. Lou helped me up and I feared I would be back to square A.  I was.  I had to go back and have the treatment again.

During my vacation in Florida that year, I decided to teach myself how to make jewelry. I had made a few pieces, but I was able to spend more time perfecting my skill during those two weeks.  I found it therapeutic to create and I started knitting again. My maternal grandmother had taught me to knit forty years earlier and it came back to me with ease.  

I still was having some side effects from the fall, but at least the dizziness was gone.  Two Thousand and Eight was just around the corner. Many more changes were on the horizon, some good, some not.