I enjoyed spoiling myself so much on my fiftieth birthday, I decided to do it again on my fifty first. Just me and the whole day to myself. I had a manicure, pedicure, massage and I visited the physhic. I drew the Five of Cups Card that supported that I am one to look at the glass half full, remaining positive in my life challenges.
He stated there were many changes going on with the company I worked for and they were all positive changes. Yes, he was on target there. The old senior management was retiring and young blood was replacing them.
He told me to be patient, the company would be very successful and that they preferred to force people to leave verse firing them. I had seen this happening already, in my own office a year earlier. He stated there would be more work for me, but that I could handle it. More work, same pay, story of my life, but I was fine with that. Jobs were hard to come by and I was content where I was.
The next thing he said though, alerted me. I work in a branch office of a large company and my office is small. "Watch others, they will twist your words and be prepared for backstabbing, but do not participate in it." Well, that didn't sound too promising, but I made a note of it as I never know when these things might happen. It can be happening, going to happen or be years from happening.
He told me once again I was pushing opportunities for relationships on the back burner and I needed to stop. "You are too nice and you fear getting hurt again." Was he reading my mind? "I want you to go buy the book, "Why Men Marry Bitches." He proceeded to tell me the man he had been speaking of for a couple of years now, would be going through a divorce soon and I needed to be prepared to move on when I met him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, why men marry bitches? I bought the book. I am every thing but a bitch. How do you change your personality to attract men? This was going on the back burner, love me for who I am or I have no interest.
In mid June my boss called. The offices on the East Coast needed temporary help and asked if I'd pitch in. Sure, what was I going to say? My boss, he is not the best communicator and to him, every thing is top secret. I believe he just doesn't understand the big picture, so to not inform you is more from him not knowing what is going on than it being a secret.
Starting July 1, for three weeks, I needed to pitch hit. One adjuster was on vacation, one was retiring and one was on sick leave. As a manager, I would think you would tell your staff member who was on first, so that when they started fielding phone calls, you could inform the injured worker that the adjuster they had been working with had retired or was on vacation and would return on a certain date. Nope, I didn't have a clue who was on first, second, third or up to bat.
I came in the first day after Fourth of July and my email and phones were exploding with calls from the East Coast. I was not expecting an avalanche to fall on me. Workers Compensation basics are the same in all states, the differences can vary, but are important when adjusting a claim. For instance, how many days must you be disable before you are eligible for benefits? Some states it is seven days, some three, some are consecutive, some are not. How long do you have to be off, before the waiting period is paid, again, varies from state to state. I was handling four states that I was not familiar with the jurisdictions at all.
My boss was on vacation. The manager for the East Coast, was on vacation as well. My contact in the Home Office that could assist me, you got it, on vacation. What is a girl to do? In some of these states I needed to be licensed and I wasn't, so calling the state to ask a simple question like how long is the waiting period would trigger a normal person to ask, "If you have a license, why don't you know this?"
I did what any normal person would do, I reached out to a woman who I had worked with previously one other time that I had helped out the East Coast offices. I had exchanged emails, spoken to her on the phone and there was no ill will between us. I called and left a message. No response. I wrote an email, "I just got a butt load of claims dumped on me and I am not sure what the waiting period is in Delaware? Is it three consecutive days or three random days? The check is due and I need some help as every one is on vacation." Simple, to the point.
She never called nor responded to my email. Maybe she was on vacation as well. I did what I could do and hoped for the best. Within two weeks, my boss flew in to Indianapolis from Kansas. He wanted to meet me off site. This is not normal practice, so I asked why. We need to talk. Great, can I know the subject so I can be prepared? Nope.
I figured if it was going to get nasty, might as well do it in a place that I couldn't hear what he was saying so I wouldn't get so pissed off, so I told him to meet me at Buffalo Three for lunch. A loud sports bar.
I was recovering from a terrible bout with poison ivy and had been to the doctor that morning. He knew every year I came in contact with this and it is what it is. I showed him the brochure the doctor gave me and told him I was going to have the leaves tattooed on to my arm so I could compare them to the leaves I seemed to be battling in my yard.
He took the brochure and was studying it. Red flag. He didn't want to be there. He had walked in with a large file folder and he was stalling.
"I don't know what you are here about, but since you insisted we meet off site, I am guessing it isn't going to be pleasant, so what ever you have to say, let's get this over with."
I was not expecting this. He produced the email I sent and stated the employee I had sent this to was offended by the use of my word, "butt load." Wow. I looked at him and said, "Thank God I wasn't looking her in the eye, because I would have said, shit load." This had to be a mistake. Butt load, offensive?
He pulled out the policies on writing professionally when dealing with any and all parties and he produced a memo stating I had used offensive language. The psychic's words came to mind, "Others will twist your words
He said it was uprofessional to not only use the word, but that I had written to a person from a sister company and it made our company look inept to the outside world. Yeah, make note to self about that, I might be able to draw from that later on.
I informed him that I had not been given any information about my assignment and I had worked with this woman before. He offered nothing. He left and flew back to Kansas City. A good use of expense money was used in this trip to Indy.
I went back to the office and was fit to be tied, but I did what I could do with what I had been given. That is all he said, don't use the word butt load.
The end of the three weeks were upon us and I was looking forward to returning these files back to those who were returning from vacation and sick leave. They had hired a replacement for the retiree, but she had fallen and broken her ankle and was not able to start work for six weeks, so my assignment was to continue.
Not a problem. I assumed I would be handling one case load verses three. Again, I asked the names of the returning staff so I could redirect calls to them and again, nothing was provided.
I contacted this woman several times, once I apologized for my inappropriate use of words. No response was received. Odd, she was a manager and she wouldn't respond, but again, I received a call from some one higher than me and was told to "handle this" without any more information given.
Six weeks into this temporary assignment and someone, who apparently had a manager, who was informed and informed his staff, called. During our conversation I told her about the lack of response from the manager on the East Coast and was there some one else that I could reach out to.
Imagine how surprised I was to learn that I was to have no contact with this woman at all. Imagine how surprised I was to learn the company that had been handling these claims was a sister company that we had pulled the contract from and were bringing these claims in house with the new hire handling all of these claims. Yes, there were people returning from vacation and sick leave, but they no longer were under contract to do this work. Six weeks passed and I am told I am to have no contact with these people as there is ill will between their company and ours over the handling of the claims. And here I am calling them asking for help, when someone above me has told them they were not performing to standard and the work was being taken away. I guess I'd be sensitive too if some one said butt load to me. No, I wouldn't but, it was an excuse to comprehend the behavior. It wasn't like I called some one a M.F (Maternal Fornicator) for not reaching out to help me do their work. I was thinking this was a very big piece to the puzzle had I known it six weeks ago!
But this was typical of my manager. "There are things going on over your head that you don't have to worry about, that's what they pay me for." My head? Was about four inches higher off the ground than his and his was usually in the dark, stuck up some orifice that resembles a part of my offensive language.
I can have a difficult time working for someone who does not communicate or is intimidated by me. He was both. Karma is a bitch and I have learned that with patience, you can drive that bus with a smile as wide as the universe, you just have to be patient.
Slightly simmering from his visit several weeks later, I received a phone call from an attorney on the East Coast looking for authorization to proceed to trial. Understand I am not familiar with the who who's in that part of the region and he started to explain to me his predicament.
His secretary called "a man" to find out who the replacement adjuster was and how to go about getting the needed authority to proceed with settlement or trial. She was informed that this person was the "middle man" and knew nothing about what was going on. He was asked if the attorney could anticipate a return phone call once the adjuster was determined as this was an urgent matter at the time. I took me a second or two, this man worked as our outside counsel, he was one of us, not the plaintiff attorney, so why would he not expect a call from the company who hired him?
I am going to have the response cross stitched on to cloth and framed as it was priceless. "No, you can't expect a call back from the adjuster." The attorney was snickering as he told me this tale, it had been weeks since he had this conversation so he had time to settle down his blood pressure.
"Cindy, I have never had a client tell me I could not expect a phone call back from them. I called (the manager that I had used the offensive language) and told her, you can't make this shit up!" Another classic bound cross stitch wall hanging! And, should I be offended that he used the word shit? It does come from the butt and when loaded, it is a butt load, but I just snickered, I was much bigger than shit.
I asked him if he could find out the name of the person who informed him of this so I could correct them and let them know I was the person they needed to direct those calls to. He said his secretary had it and he'd call me back. We discussed the reason he called and as I hung up, I dialed my manager to inform him of this predicament as apparently we needed to advise this "middle man" that we do return phone calls.
As I was on the phone to address this and other issues, the familiar ding, "you've got mail" sound was heard. I was seconds from broaching this subject when I opened the email from this attorney who represented us and there before my eyes, karma was spelled in two words. The "middle man" was my boss.
Wow! Guess I can cut this conversation short. I had to put this in prospective. He told a person out side of the company that he was just the middle man and no, he, our attorney could not expect a return phone call from us, who in turn, called a woman who worked for our sister company to tell her, "you can't make this shit up," she being the one that he would have had the conversation with, had things not turned out the way they had. This scenerio was not different than what he had flown in to Indianapolis to discuss with me.
My whole mood changed. I knew the physic said no back biting in response to back biting, but he had threatened my employment if one more email was issued that he found offensive. In Indiana, they can fire you if they don't like how your shoes are tied with no warning. The company had always been fair to me, especially when I was hired and Bill was dying, but I didn't report to this man then.
My long, lean fingers wasted no time typing a novel to the senior vice president who apparently had been confronted by the woman and directed my manager to address it with me. Needless to say, it was a classic email, should be framed right next to the cross stitch selections I spoke of earlier.
Not long after that I received a phone call and was questioned intensively over the matter. The attorney received one as well. It didn't matter to me whether it was addressed or not with him. The principle was the same and if you are going to send some one in to my bubble to tell me I was unprofessional, that person had better have a clean slate himself.
It wasn't long after that when I received a call from my manager. He let me know in his own way, he had been spoken to. If he thought this was going to put me in a corner and rattle me, he didn't know me that well.
It was the first of many times that I went over his head and each time warranted. He told me the following year at my review that I was not going to get a pay raise. That didn't surprise me, this was a tit for tat relationship we had. What surprised me was he told me I was at the top of my pay scale. He could have just left it as that, no raise. The maximum raise you can even get is two percent and you have to walk on water and part the seas to be eligible for that, but he had to justify perhaps to himself why he was doing this.
I had no idea what my pay scale was, so I contacted Human Resources. It took over six weeks to get a response to several inquiries, but again, imagine my surprise when I discovered I was in the lower two percent of my pay scale and not maxed out. Sharpened up the fingers and let them rip across the keys.
The reason? We had just had a manager's meeting that we had been informed by the new senior management that we were all a team and there was a new open door policy, no secrets, no lies, if you wanted to know some thing about the reorganization, step up and ask. No lies? Apparently one of the team members missed class that day as he had flat out lied to me about the reason of no pay increase and to make matters worse? I hadn't asked for a reason.
The same inquiries were made, the same follow up was adhered to, the phone rang one day and it was my boss. Tanya and I were having a meeting when he called and I was a little light hearted when I picked up the phone.
"Sounds like you are on a beach there having a drink and way too much fun."
"Nope, just doing my job, what can I do for you?"
"Yes, I imagine you can't afford a vacation let alone a cabana boy to serve you drinks on the beach......" Guess some one had spoken to him again and he was letting me know. If you are going to be disrespectful to the people who report to you, you should know, respect will not be returned.
I am thrilled to announce the physic told me years ago I'd get a new boss who was my equal and believed in team work. It has been one month since that announcement was made and in those thirty days, I have been provided more information about what is going on than I had received in the six years I reported to the other. Life can bless you when you least expect it and it can come in the smallest packages.
The thoughts that wander through my mind. Some have suggested I write a book. I think I'll blog first
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Memories of Vacations Linger with Us years later
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| Cliff Divers |
I don't think this is an area that I would want to spend more than a day in. It is known for shrimping, produce,the largest poinsettia farms supplying many countries and of interest, it is where all cars are shipped to have every thing changed to Spanish and then sent all over Mexico and South America. Who would have known?
We had to shop, it was one of the stops. I saw this ring that I just fell in love with and the shop owner was anxious to sell it to me. I kept telling him I was broke as I had just bought diamond earrings for myself. He, of course, thought I needed to spoil myself. I was quick to point out, I had just done that and now I was broke! He kept dropping the price and although it was tempting, I didn't have any money to spend on more jewelry. I had to buy my spoons from each port that I started to collect years ago when I began this adventure of traveling. He went so far as to find me in another store to tell me he'd drop the price more. Sorry buddy, look at the ears! He followed me on the bus and dropped the price more. I just couldn't. Tanya was so surprised that I didn't buy it, I had the cash, but we were three days in to this trip and I needed to buy spoons!
There was a woman who had a baby strapped on her back with three little children waiting for the tour bus to stop. She was selling dolls that appeared to be voo-doo like. Every time the bus stopped in the down town area, she was waiting out side of the door. We couldn't figure out how she got from spot A to B before the bus. It wasn't like we were taking the long route to get there. But she was desperate to sell her dolls. I wanted to take her aside and explain that if the people on the bus didn't buy her dolls at point A, B and C, chances were they were not going to buy them at points D, E and F. But you can't fault her, she had all these kids in tow to feed!
Thanksgiving was finally here. We were in Puerto Vallarta. Now there is some where I could spend a week. It is a small village as the mountain range borders most of the city. Again, we took the city history tour to discover that Liz Taylor and Richard Burton were the biggest scandal this city had to offer in their history. The man who narrated the tour, Alberto, was very informative but every sentence started out with, "Let me tell you some thing." We have collected catch phrases from all our vacations.
In Hawaii, we had met this little girl who was maybe five, dressed cute as a button with a big flower on her hat and sunglasses. She sat in the back of the van with Tanya and I and her parents were in the front. Tanya was sitting next to her and started a conversation, she was quite the conversationalist. I started to join the conversation and she was quick to put me in my place.
"I can only have a conversation with one of you and I am talking to her."
"Excuse me, but I thought you'd like to talk to the Queen." Tanya started to tell her that I was the Queen. Her response was priceless, delivered like a pro.
"Why does that not surprise me?" We could not stop laughing and it became our catch phrase from Hawaii.
That evening, we decided we would go down to the formal seating for dinner and have our Thanksgiving feast. Tanya had been down the night before, but I chose to eat in the cafeteria. The table sat eight and the night before there was another couple who sat with her. But that night, they had reservations at one of the premium restaurants. We sat with another couple who had been assigned this table. There names were Joan and Richard from Sacramento. I did not want to have to be social, it is why I had avoided the formal dining area all week, but, they sat right down next to me. I was sandwiched between them and Tanya.
It was Joan's birthday and they had been on the horse expedition all day. They had met on E-Harmony and they shared their whole dating history with us. Do you understand now why I didn't want to go? I can't just sit there once they start their stories, I have to act interested which leads to more conversation. Tanya? Didn't say a word, she wasn't sitting next to them, I was. There were only four of us at the table so it wasn't like I could divert my attention to my napkin on the floor to avoid all conversations.
All during dinner I kept staring at Richard. If he was facing you head on, his nose was pointing west. I couldn't figure it out. Had it been broken? Had it always been that way? I mean really, it is the first thing you noticed. It wasn't slightly bent, it was oddly bent to the side!
When we got back to the room, I asked Tanya what she thought had happened to his nose. Can you believe she didn't notice? Didn't notice! I asked her how she could sit there for two hours and not notice his nose was sideways? Again, I notice details like this.
The next evening she wanted to go back to the formal dining room. I had about all the socializing I could stand, so I went to the cafeteria. She met up with me later and couldn't stop laughing. They were at the dinner table again that night and she said she could not take her eyes off his nose and couldn't believe she didn't notice it the night before.
I was sitting in a secluded area of the cafeteria when she came looking for me. Every evening during the dinner hour, a little man wheeled a cart around the room chanting, "Green Tea." It sounded more like Gring Tee. Tanya enjoyed her green tea and he enjoyed serving her. Every once in a while in the office now, I'll take a make shift cart I have there, micro wave a cup of water and wheel it over to her desk doing my best imitation of the oriental man chanting, "Gring Tee." We laugh at our memories we have shared on our adventures.
The final day we were on board, as the ship made its way back to LA, we had the best weather of the whole trip. Eighty degrees and not a cloud in the sky. Wouldn't you just know it, the vacation was over and we were headed back home.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Mexican Riviera - Time to Cruise
It was time for the annual vacation get away. We had two free airline tickets from our trip the year before, so the sky was the limit. We decided we would go on a Mexican Riviera Cruise to celebrate Thanksgiving. This year we did not rent a limo or have a sedan drive us to the airport, Tanya's son had the honor. They were to pick me up at my home around four in the morning for an early flight. I had been up all night as I saw no point in going to bed for five minutes. I was waiting in my drive way dreaming of ocean water and sunshine. Pulling out my lounge chair, I plopped it right in the center of the drive so when they pulled up, the head lights would hit me, sitting in my lounge chair, in a fur coat, waiting to be whisked away to the tropical weather.
I usually make all the arrangements for our trip, but this year, Tanya was responsible for booking us a room for one night. We would arrive in LA and spend one evening before we boarded the cruise line the next morning. She found this place on line and it was rather inexpensive. Our only requirement was that they could shuttle us to the cruise line.
The flight from Indianapolis to Atlanta was a breeze. The flight from Atlanta to LA, entertaining. A young boy and his mother sat behind us. It was his first flight and his name was Hayden. How do I know that? Because the mother kept saying his name over and over while giving him a blow by blow narration of every thing going on around him. I had to peek between the seat to see if poor Hayden was blind! She pointed out birds and explained that we would fly higher than birds and no birds could be seen later. She explained the plane flew like a bird only the wings didn't flap. I suggested to Tanya that Aunt Cindy should teach Hayden how to do the Bird to Morris Day's song The Bird, that would get the plane off the ground. Apparently Hayden was learning to read and the words on his plate that day? What, want and were. I about lost it when she read, "Want, see ant in want? I want an ant, want." Well, I want peace and quiet or some bird is going to be flying in between the seats at Hayden. Thank goodness, Hayden fell asleep, I don't know if I could have prepared myself for any more commentary on every thing going on around us. "Look Hayden, those are clouds. We are flying in the clouds. We see clouds from the ground but we can not touch them. We are in the clouds and yet, we still can not touch them. Trust me Hayden, she is lying. I can open up the emergency hatch and not only will you touch the clouds, you will be flying in them, flap those wings Hayden!
Don't get me wrong, I understand she was teaching her son, but it was this annoying little voice of hers that raised the hair on my neck. Squeaky little mouse with a nasal passage blockage. It was not a voice you could live long with.
We arrived in LA and was taxied to the hotel. We thought the driver was lost as we were driving around what appeared to be an industrial park but alas, he pulled up in front of our hotel. As we entered the room, all dreams of taking an adventure outside of our room ended. This room was made for a Queen! There was a fifty inch flat screen, DVD player, Ipod station, a shower that was made to party in with a deep, deep tub and best of all, a heated toilet seat! I fell in love with this toilet seat and thought I had to have one, until I found it for five hundred dollars. I think I will just carry fond memories of it for now.
There were no restaurants within walking distance. The two in the hotel served only Japanese food. I would rather starve than eat Japanese. We were in the Japanese community of LA known as Torrence, California.
We decided we would go to the grocery store located next door and just pick up some thing to eat, but that was even a challenge. Every thing was in Japanese. I know knew what it felt like to be in a country that I could not read the labels or the know what food I was selecting. I found Pop Tarts that had the American label on them, but I couldn't pay eight dollars. We ended up getting Japanese spaghetti, a pretty safe bet for a picky eater. Tanya slept all day and night. I think she slept close to twenty four hours. I read, watched TV, went back to the market and napped. I was not surprised to see on the news that there were storm warnings. I was on vacation! The storm warnings ranged from snow in northern California to mud slides in central California to flooding near where we were staying. The newscaster said this was "a first." I find that hard to believe as every where I vacation the news casters always report the weather is "a first" for the region.
Before we headed out the next day we were going to order room service, but one egg was fifteen dollars and a cheeseburger was twenty. I love cheeseburgers, but I have never had one that was worth twenty dollars. We ended up eating pop tarts and kitty cocktails, mine served as a virgin.
The weather was cold and neither of us packed for winter, we were going on a cruise to Mexico, not Alaska. Anxious to relax and get away from the pressure of work and noise, we discovered, this particular cruise had nine hundred and seventy kids on board. We were going to the dining room for dinner, but overslept, old people do that when they vacation, take naps in the middle of the afternoon. Our internal clocks had not recalculated to the west coast time change. Our evening meal was taken in the cafeteria along with the children. I preferred the cafeteria as the dining room was too time consuming, you had to wait for your fifty entrees and be social with people you didn't know. I wanted to get away from everyone and every thing.
We were both sick the entire cruise. Tanya was having issues with her stomach that is always brought on by stress and always seems to pop up just before we leave or shortly after. I was having a major sinus infection and was miserable. The weather was so cold we couldn't even sit pool side and enjoy the sun, so we spent our time in the room, napping and napping.
Our first port of call was Cabo San Lucas. I had purchased Bendyral on the ship for fifteen dollars for a few measly pills. Again, I was being held hostage by the desire of want and needs. I needed the pills to allow me to breath, so I had to swallow the price tag.
First things first. My whole reason behind the trip was to buy replacement earrings. I knew I could get them for much less if purchased outside of the States. We were going to walk to down town Cabo, but Tanya is not made for walking, so we rented a man who allowed us to sit in the seat built for two attached to his bicycle. I would not have taken his job for love or money. The roads were hilly and you could tell he was straining to get us there. He had a standard bike, no gears. I told Tanya I was surprised he was not thin as rail, but perhaps he was new on the job as he was a big boy.
We were on a mission, diamond earrings. I knew that I could not afford to replace what had been stolen, but I could get some thing nicer. I spent two hours looking at these sparkly gems when I finally decided on a pair. I gave the man my credit card without much thought. I knew I could put these on my card and still have credit for the rest of my trip. I have one MasterCard, with a very low limit, requested by me to control liabilities if the card were lost or stolen.
He rang up the purchase and it dawned on me, my bill was due later that week and until they received their payment, I had nothing open on the card to use in the event I found some thing later. We were one day into this trip and I was maxed out! Anxiety was setting in! I would get on line later and reschedule the payment earlier, that was my plan, but, I couldn't as the payment needed five days to process and it had already been issued.
I had cash but I prefer to put things on credit and pay it off at the end of each month. I was sick, not because I just dropped a large amount of cash on earrings, but because I did not have a credit card to use! I was having major withdraws. I never say no to Cindy and yet, here I was having to say, "No, you can't have that, look at your damn ears!"
We had lunch at Cabo Wabo, the restaurant owned by Sammy Hagar. My teeth fell out of my mouth when I saw the price for a cheeseburger, $75.00. Little did we know the sign in front of the seventy five stood for their cash equivalent, so the burger was only $6.95 in American money.
In the afternoon we had purchased tickets to take a catamaran to go see Land's End. It was just breathtaking, the water, the beaches and the rock
formations. From there we boarded a bus to go to the other side of the island to a restaurant that is open only when there are no ships in port. Can you imagine? The view was beautiful and a perfect spot for a wedding, if you were in to that, I was not!
We were done for the day, one port down. We headed back to the ship, where I took a nap and Tanya ventured out to the casino. We were going to meet up later for a movie and production show after grabbing a quick bite to eat. Tanya won one hundred dollars. That girl is so lucky when it comes to gambling!
She told me I should gamble to win some money and I reminded her of the black cloud that lingers over my head twenty four seven. "I am broke, Tanya, are you looking at my ears?"
She said she would give me ten dollars of her winnings and I suggested we visit the five hundred dollar toilet seat and watch it as it swirled down the drain as that is where it would end up if I gambled. I told her she should gamble it for me and so she did. I stood over her shoulder, much like I did Chappy on our honeymoon, she was up, she was down, she was up, she was down, it wasn't even my money and I was sweating bullets! We had made the deal whatever she won, we'd split. She had doubled her bet, we both could walk away with ten dollars in our pocket, before she could hit the button to flush it all away, my hand came over her shoulder and cashed her out. "Winners, we are winners!" A good gambler knows when to walk away. I was walking away with ten dollars more than I had when she sat down!
I usually make all the arrangements for our trip, but this year, Tanya was responsible for booking us a room for one night. We would arrive in LA and spend one evening before we boarded the cruise line the next morning. She found this place on line and it was rather inexpensive. Our only requirement was that they could shuttle us to the cruise line.
The flight from Indianapolis to Atlanta was a breeze. The flight from Atlanta to LA, entertaining. A young boy and his mother sat behind us. It was his first flight and his name was Hayden. How do I know that? Because the mother kept saying his name over and over while giving him a blow by blow narration of every thing going on around him. I had to peek between the seat to see if poor Hayden was blind! She pointed out birds and explained that we would fly higher than birds and no birds could be seen later. She explained the plane flew like a bird only the wings didn't flap. I suggested to Tanya that Aunt Cindy should teach Hayden how to do the Bird to Morris Day's song The Bird, that would get the plane off the ground. Apparently Hayden was learning to read and the words on his plate that day? What, want and were. I about lost it when she read, "Want, see ant in want? I want an ant, want." Well, I want peace and quiet or some bird is going to be flying in between the seats at Hayden. Thank goodness, Hayden fell asleep, I don't know if I could have prepared myself for any more commentary on every thing going on around us. "Look Hayden, those are clouds. We are flying in the clouds. We see clouds from the ground but we can not touch them. We are in the clouds and yet, we still can not touch them. Trust me Hayden, she is lying. I can open up the emergency hatch and not only will you touch the clouds, you will be flying in them, flap those wings Hayden!
Don't get me wrong, I understand she was teaching her son, but it was this annoying little voice of hers that raised the hair on my neck. Squeaky little mouse with a nasal passage blockage. It was not a voice you could live long with.
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| $500 to heat your rear |
There were no restaurants within walking distance. The two in the hotel served only Japanese food. I would rather starve than eat Japanese. We were in the Japanese community of LA known as Torrence, California.
We decided we would go to the grocery store located next door and just pick up some thing to eat, but that was even a challenge. Every thing was in Japanese. I know knew what it felt like to be in a country that I could not read the labels or the know what food I was selecting. I found Pop Tarts that had the American label on them, but I couldn't pay eight dollars. We ended up getting Japanese spaghetti, a pretty safe bet for a picky eater. Tanya slept all day and night. I think she slept close to twenty four hours. I read, watched TV, went back to the market and napped. I was not surprised to see on the news that there were storm warnings. I was on vacation! The storm warnings ranged from snow in northern California to mud slides in central California to flooding near where we were staying. The newscaster said this was "a first." I find that hard to believe as every where I vacation the news casters always report the weather is "a first" for the region.
Before we headed out the next day we were going to order room service, but one egg was fifteen dollars and a cheeseburger was twenty. I love cheeseburgers, but I have never had one that was worth twenty dollars. We ended up eating pop tarts and kitty cocktails, mine served as a virgin.
The weather was cold and neither of us packed for winter, we were going on a cruise to Mexico, not Alaska. Anxious to relax and get away from the pressure of work and noise, we discovered, this particular cruise had nine hundred and seventy kids on board. We were going to the dining room for dinner, but overslept, old people do that when they vacation, take naps in the middle of the afternoon. Our internal clocks had not recalculated to the west coast time change. Our evening meal was taken in the cafeteria along with the children. I preferred the cafeteria as the dining room was too time consuming, you had to wait for your fifty entrees and be social with people you didn't know. I wanted to get away from everyone and every thing.
We were both sick the entire cruise. Tanya was having issues with her stomach that is always brought on by stress and always seems to pop up just before we leave or shortly after. I was having a major sinus infection and was miserable. The weather was so cold we couldn't even sit pool side and enjoy the sun, so we spent our time in the room, napping and napping.
Our first port of call was Cabo San Lucas. I had purchased Bendyral on the ship for fifteen dollars for a few measly pills. Again, I was being held hostage by the desire of want and needs. I needed the pills to allow me to breath, so I had to swallow the price tag.
 |
| Cabo Wabo Catina |
We were on a mission, diamond earrings. I knew that I could not afford to replace what had been stolen, but I could get some thing nicer. I spent two hours looking at these sparkly gems when I finally decided on a pair. I gave the man my credit card without much thought. I knew I could put these on my card and still have credit for the rest of my trip. I have one MasterCard, with a very low limit, requested by me to control liabilities if the card were lost or stolen.
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| Land's End |
I had cash but I prefer to put things on credit and pay it off at the end of each month. I was sick, not because I just dropped a large amount of cash on earrings, but because I did not have a credit card to use! I was having major withdraws. I never say no to Cindy and yet, here I was having to say, "No, you can't have that, look at your damn ears!"
We had lunch at Cabo Wabo, the restaurant owned by Sammy Hagar. My teeth fell out of my mouth when I saw the price for a cheeseburger, $75.00. Little did we know the sign in front of the seventy five stood for their cash equivalent, so the burger was only $6.95 in American money.
In the afternoon we had purchased tickets to take a catamaran to go see Land's End. It was just breathtaking, the water, the beaches and the rock
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| The scene from the restaurant |
We were done for the day, one port down. We headed back to the ship, where I took a nap and Tanya ventured out to the casino. We were going to meet up later for a movie and production show after grabbing a quick bite to eat. Tanya won one hundred dollars. That girl is so lucky when it comes to gambling!
She told me I should gamble to win some money and I reminded her of the black cloud that lingers over my head twenty four seven. "I am broke, Tanya, are you looking at my ears?"
She said she would give me ten dollars of her winnings and I suggested we visit the five hundred dollar toilet seat and watch it as it swirled down the drain as that is where it would end up if I gambled. I told her she should gamble it for me and so she did. I stood over her shoulder, much like I did Chappy on our honeymoon, she was up, she was down, she was up, she was down, it wasn't even my money and I was sweating bullets! We had made the deal whatever she won, we'd split. She had doubled her bet, we both could walk away with ten dollars in our pocket, before she could hit the button to flush it all away, my hand came over her shoulder and cashed her out. "Winners, we are winners!" A good gambler knows when to walk away. I was walking away with ten dollars more than I had when she sat down!
Monday, April 29, 2013
2010 - Full of Life Lessons
My youngest nephew graduated from high school in 2010. My parents were living in Florida full time now and would not return to Michigan to attend his open house. It is just who they are. My mother does not fly, so it would have required a long drive in June and they were scheduled to spend the month of July at my home. For a couple who are retired, they are very regimented to a schedule. Mother, for one, does not like to be away from home, so traveling for her is unwelcomed. She is not one to be around people, so being outside of her home is being outside of her comfort level. It has taken me years to understand her but I am slowly discovering that this is just who she is.
My youngest nephew has the brains of my brother. Learning is not difficult. He has the wit and sarcasm of his Aunt. Since meeting him at fourteen, I discovered he is quick witted and sarcastic just like me. I never practiced my wit and sarcasm, it just comes naturally, but as a young teen, he would want to have conversations just to practice his responses. I missed so much not being a part of my brother's children lives.
He was only fourteen when he met our side of the family and he had just lost his father rather suddenly. He doesn't remember his dad being healthy, he remembers his dad as always having health issues. He was every thing my brother wanted to be, smart, athletic and not challenged with social issues that weigh heavily on the heart of my mother and her only son.
He was unable to comprehend why his grandparents did not want to be a part of his life. He kind of understood it when his father was a live and chose not to have contact with his family and refused his own family to have contact with us, but with him gone, none of his children understood the difficulty of their grandparents establishing a relationship with them.
I tried to explain best as I could to each of them the whys, but at times, I have difficulty understanding them myself. I know it is my mother and my father just goes a long to make things run smoothly, but for years, my mother blamed my Dad for not wanting to attend events or to excuse them from social interactions.
I had to be brutally honest with them and tell them just what my parents confided in me. There was no other way to sugar coat a difficult conversation. I understood their side of the story, they had just lost their father and perhaps were not themselves. It is an awful lot to pile on a child, the death of a parent and the introduction of his family that they had never met. Complete strangers that they knew so very little about.
My nephew had a strong argument. He was fourteen at the time and now at nineteen, he was more mature and not the child he was when they first met him. I made a deal with him. He could come visit when my parents came to Indiana. He had to understand that I would not tell my mother of his visit until he was close to arriving as she would be angry that I was meddling in her business. She chose to not see them and I was forcing it upon her.
We agreed that he could come for three days and if things were tense, he'd leave early and if they were going well, he was welcomed to stay. I told my dad a few hours before his arrival and we both agreed to not say a word to Mom. Robert pulled up and my Dad greeted him just like he would anyone. The issue is not with my father. We were all outside talking when I suggested we go in and face the music. As we stepped in to the house, my mother sat on the love seat doing a crossword puzzle, her back to the door, "Hello Robert."
"Hello Grandma." He proceeded to sit down next to her and together they worked crossword puzzles. You can not tell me she wasn't in heaven, but she will never admit it. We sat and chatted a while about his graduation and recent break up with his girlfriend of seven years. He was funny when he explained the situation. His girlfriend had started dating his best friend and as he said more than once, "I didn't see that one coming." He and his best friend had spoken of this situation and his friend assured him he had no interest in dating her, but never say never, they did date and it broke my nephew's heart. He was preparing to attend college in the fall so he had that to look forward to.
The next three days were heaven sent. He was not the fourteen year old my parents remembered. He has my brother's temper but he tries to control it. He and my father went out to play golf. I know my Dad was just over the moon golfing with his grandson. I had a list of projects for dad and I to do, but he and Robert knocked them out and dad was impressed that his grandson had "common sense." Some thing he preached all too often to his own children.
At night we would watch movies and talk. After three days, we decided he should spend the week and at the end of the week, no one wanted him to go home. My mom had to admit he had matured, but that lasted all of five minutes as he wrote to me shortly after that visit to tell me he had reunited with his girlfriend and she was pregnant. My mom, you never know whether what she says is how she really feels or if it is a reaction to hurt. I don't dwell on it as she wouldn't be honest with me if I asked.
I had been dreaming of an idea for a portable table for years. It came to me when Michael and I were boating on the weekends. I drew the schematics and applied for a patent. I am still working on the logistics of bringing it to fruition. It takes time to develop the idea and find the resource to produce it in mass as well as market it, but I am hopeful it will happen soon.
In September, I needed to have more drywall work done in the garage. It was not some thing that I wanted to do as the lower wall behind the water pressure tank and water softener needed to be replaced. There had been years of water damage from multiple sources and I had put it off long enough.
Shortly after I purchased my house, the neighborhood had a meeting to update us on the potential of our neighborhood being purchased to expand the highway. I had not been made aware of this when I bought the house and was disappointed as I had dropped a lot of money in renovations. I was in the process of building the shed at the time so I have refrained from doing much more to the home until more information was available, but some repairs just need to be done.
I hired a man who was starting his own remodeling company. After he completed the job, I asked if he would be interested in repairing the master bath shower. He said it would take four days to do, but I knew from previous experience, he was underestimating his time.
He was able to work within my schedule as I wanted to be home when he was there to work. He had other obligations to family, so I understood that he could only work certain hours, but I have yet to understand how people who want to work are never available to work.
He started the tear out and left. I finished it and the next day when he showed up to finish, he was surprised to see that I had torn the entire shower out. I let him know that I knew what I was doing and demanded he step up his game if he wanted the job.
I spent a considerable amount of time with this young man and treated him with respect and dignity. He shared his story with me that his father taught him how to do this type of work. He was proud of his website and brochures. He was just trying to get his foot in a door and hoped for referrals. He was a member of Angie's List, although that is not where I found him.
I gave him fifty dollars one night as it was his anniversary. I knew he didn't have money to do any thing special as they had two children to support and she was bar tending twice a week. He was so grateful for my kindness. The next day he told me they went to dinner and two movies and how much his girl enjoyed herself. This is just who I am. I am probably too kind for my own good as, no good deed goes unpunished.
Six weeks later, he was still working on the bathroom. I wanted a new vanity but the one in my bathroom would have required a custom made one, so I bought the materials and drew up the plans, teaching him how I wanted it constructed. He was so proud of himself when he finished it and said that he could now add that to his resume.
It was late October 2010, I had reached a point where I trusted him in my home and he'd been working there during the day when I was at work. He had finished most of the work that needed to be done and I was going to finish up some of the work before he came back to put the final details on the project.
It was October 24, 2010 when he sent a text to inform me the high winds we had that day blew his car off the road and he had a flat tire. The next evening I noticed my diamond earrings were missing.
I had worn them on the bus trip to Chicago and had taken them off, placing them on the vanity in the main bath when a few days later, I decided I best place them where they belonged, but I was lazy, I just placed them on top of my jewelry box, not inside of it. Two days later, they were missing from the top of the box.
I was beside myself as I was not sure if they had fallen off the box and I had swept them up or if they snagged on a piece of clothing and ended up in the washer. I took the sweeper bag out in to the garage and went through it, dust particle by dust particle, finding nothing.
I was sick to my stomach when I opened the door on my jewelry box to discover the diamond bracelet I had bought on the "divorce" cruise in 2001 was missing. I pulled the appraisals from the safe and discovered more pieces were missing. My gut told me where the jewelry was, but I didn't want to believe it. He started giving me every excuse to not finish the job and one day he finally showed up.
I confronted him. His latest excuse was that his father had died and he had business to take care of revolving around him. I looked in the newspaper and never saw a death notice for his dad. When he arrived that day, I did not mix words when I accused him. He swore he would never do that, although we had many conversations about his girlfriends brother being one to lift items off of customers in the past, he would never do such a thing.
Thieves are good liars so are addicts. I had filed a police report and within a few weeks, pieces of my jewelry had been discovered at local pawn shops. I understand stolen jewelry is not a top priority with the local police department, so I took matters in to my own hands.
The diamond earrings had been pawned and bought immediately. When I was told how much they were purchased for verses how much I paid for them, I was sick to my stomach. These were the earrings that I had continually traded up with the final trade after Bill died. There were still pieces missing but the police didn't have time to go searching. They had entered his name in to their system and when any one pawned an item with that name, it alerts the police. I left work one night and told Tanya I was going to go window shop at the pawn shops on Tenth Street in Indianapolis. She told me I was crazy to go to Haughville at night and I should do it during the day. I had no idea what she was talking about, I had never heard of Haughville, but discovered it is the most impoverished neighborhood in the city.
I waited as she asked and drove down the next day to the first pawn shop on my list. I had never been in a pawn shop and I have to say, it was quite a lesson. Puppers was riding shotgun with me so I was safe. Pawn shops are busy on a Saturday morning after payday. I was browsing the jewelry cases when I spotted my necklace. I didn't want to create a scene, so I waited until the line at the register cleared. I asked to see the manager and as he approached, I told him the necklace in his show case was mine and it had been stolen recently. He immediately informed me he knew nothing about it and refused to help me.
I went to the car to call the police detective to discover he had weekends off. The woman on the line told me to secure the number of the pawn ticket and the detective would review it on Monday. I went back inside and requested the necessary information, but was told they did not have to provide me such. I went to the corner of the show case, pulled my phone out and snapped a photo of the necklace. The shop was full again and I didn't care at this point of whether I was making a scene or not. I spoke loudly to the manager, "The police will be here on Monday to retrieve the stolen goods you have displayed. I have a picture of it, so don't try selling it between now and then." Every one's eyes were on me as I walked out of the store on to my next adventure.
The next stop was a pawn shop just down the street. As you walked in the door, bright shiny tires were stacked to create a hall of shame, shame that one would so openly display these at the door! I was surprised the rubber was not melting as the tires were so hot. A very large black man was behind the counter, leaning on it as he spoke to another patron. "Good morning beautiful, any thing I can help you with?"
"No. Just window shopping." I proceeded to browse the show case displays but came up empty handed. As I was leaving the building, Super Fly appeared from the back room. A man dressed in a long fur coat, fedora cap, leather briefcase and sporty sunglasses held the door for me as I exited. I knew I was staring, it is not every day you see Super Fly in the broad day light. He crossed the street waiting for the bus. I called Tanya, "You are not going to believe who I just saw! Super Fly rides the bus in Haughville!" We could not stop laughing.
I didn't find any more of my jewelry that day, but eventually it was all recovered with the exception of the earrings and an Omega necklace. I visited several more stores and found them to be a thriving business on a Saturday morning.
A few weeks later the detective called me to come into the station to identify the person of interest. I told him I had a photo of him as I took pictures of any one I hired just in the event it was needed at a later date. While he thought I was taking pictures of the project, I was taking pictures of him and his license plate.
Identifying some one in a line up, is not always as shown in the movies. I drove to the police station and looked at six pictures of six different men. I was surprised to see he already had a mug shot and questioned the detective about it. I was not surprised he had a similar problem three years earlier and had just been released from his probation.
Within a few more weeks, Crime Stoppers posted a picture of him in the local newspaper. Apparently he could not be found, so again, I took matters in to my own hands.
He was on Facebook, so I messaged his friends and family notifying them of the reward Crime Stoppers was offering for his capture. Some were down right nasty stating he would never do such a thing, some stated he was innocent until proven guilty, some of his family were interested in the story as they had not seen him in years and had just reconnected on Facebook. It was through this venue that I discovered his father was alive and doing well. His Aunts were a bit upset that he would use this as an excuse. Finally, the mother of his girlfriend offered to tell the police where he was for the reward if I promised to not tell her daughter.
He had not told his girlfriend, mother of his child what had happened. She had been interviewed as a suspect as he had given her some jewelry to pawn, telling her he found it in a house he was working on. The police were willing to work with her, if she was a witness for their case.
He had just proposed to her a few weeks prior when she learned of this latest escapade and after being told of what really happened, she ended the relationship. He was arrested within days and spent some time in jail before his mom was able to pay the bail.
I faced him in court almost a year after the incident. I drove down to the county court house and again, had a new experience. I stood in line to go through a scanner much like you find in the airports. All of these people in front of me and I was the one they picked to take to the side and frisk. The officer was nice about it as I am sure he detected I was out of my element standing there.
I walked up to the court room and asked to speak to the prosecutor. She advised me what to expect and suggested I sit in the front row where the sign clearly stated, "For Attorneys and Police." She thought I might feel more comfortable sitting there instead of among the others in the room.
Young kids were brought in to the room, dressed in orange jumpsuits to face the Judge. I couldn't imagine their lives were over before they had even started. Children stood there being accused of murdering others, drug charges and being under the influence. The next group were parole violators, who didn't understand when you are sentenced to community service, you need to show up or if you are not to be driving because you have several DUI's against you, getting pulled over drinking and driving will end up with you facing the Judge again.
Another lifestyle that I never thought I would experience in the flesh was there for me to breath in and thank God I was blessed with common sense and knowing right from wrong.
It was finally time to step up and be heard. He couldn't afford an attorney so he was provided one. The room was noisy with chatter. The Judge turned to me after he had heard his side of the story to ask if I had any thing to say. I had written out a statement as I was unsure if I would be able to talk as my emotions were raw that day.
As I began to speak, the victim of this senseless crime, his mother sitting in the court room, I spoke of my kindness to him, my disappointment in him, his lies that his father died and last but not least, he stole the one thing that my late husband had given me. You could hear a pin drop in the room. I sat across from him and never took my eye off him, but he could not look at me. He was sentenced to pay me for the earrings as they were not insured. He owes me over thirteen thousand dollars. I go back to court every time he has a date with the Judge. I want him to know, I have not gone away. I want him to look at me and know that I will be there every time he sets foot in that courtroom. He has not done well paying me as outlined in his probation papers. I have another court date in six weeks. I have written to the Judge to stress the importance of making him responsible for this. He is supposed to make a payment each month and he does if his feet are held to the fire, but if not, he makes one just days before his next court date.
I am hopeful the Judge will consider my plea and make him more accountable. I understand the system is filled with others whose crimes far out weigh his, but this is his second offense and apparently he did not learn the first time.
Tanya reminds me often, 'No good deed goes unpunished." I want to believe there are people who are good out there that just need a little help to get on their feet. I am learning, they don't want to get on their feet as they have done well laying around taking advantage of others.
My youngest nephew has the brains of my brother. Learning is not difficult. He has the wit and sarcasm of his Aunt. Since meeting him at fourteen, I discovered he is quick witted and sarcastic just like me. I never practiced my wit and sarcasm, it just comes naturally, but as a young teen, he would want to have conversations just to practice his responses. I missed so much not being a part of my brother's children lives.
He was only fourteen when he met our side of the family and he had just lost his father rather suddenly. He doesn't remember his dad being healthy, he remembers his dad as always having health issues. He was every thing my brother wanted to be, smart, athletic and not challenged with social issues that weigh heavily on the heart of my mother and her only son.
He was unable to comprehend why his grandparents did not want to be a part of his life. He kind of understood it when his father was a live and chose not to have contact with his family and refused his own family to have contact with us, but with him gone, none of his children understood the difficulty of their grandparents establishing a relationship with them.
I tried to explain best as I could to each of them the whys, but at times, I have difficulty understanding them myself. I know it is my mother and my father just goes a long to make things run smoothly, but for years, my mother blamed my Dad for not wanting to attend events or to excuse them from social interactions.
I had to be brutally honest with them and tell them just what my parents confided in me. There was no other way to sugar coat a difficult conversation. I understood their side of the story, they had just lost their father and perhaps were not themselves. It is an awful lot to pile on a child, the death of a parent and the introduction of his family that they had never met. Complete strangers that they knew so very little about.
My nephew had a strong argument. He was fourteen at the time and now at nineteen, he was more mature and not the child he was when they first met him. I made a deal with him. He could come visit when my parents came to Indiana. He had to understand that I would not tell my mother of his visit until he was close to arriving as she would be angry that I was meddling in her business. She chose to not see them and I was forcing it upon her.
We agreed that he could come for three days and if things were tense, he'd leave early and if they were going well, he was welcomed to stay. I told my dad a few hours before his arrival and we both agreed to not say a word to Mom. Robert pulled up and my Dad greeted him just like he would anyone. The issue is not with my father. We were all outside talking when I suggested we go in and face the music. As we stepped in to the house, my mother sat on the love seat doing a crossword puzzle, her back to the door, "Hello Robert."
"Hello Grandma." He proceeded to sit down next to her and together they worked crossword puzzles. You can not tell me she wasn't in heaven, but she will never admit it. We sat and chatted a while about his graduation and recent break up with his girlfriend of seven years. He was funny when he explained the situation. His girlfriend had started dating his best friend and as he said more than once, "I didn't see that one coming." He and his best friend had spoken of this situation and his friend assured him he had no interest in dating her, but never say never, they did date and it broke my nephew's heart. He was preparing to attend college in the fall so he had that to look forward to.
The next three days were heaven sent. He was not the fourteen year old my parents remembered. He has my brother's temper but he tries to control it. He and my father went out to play golf. I know my Dad was just over the moon golfing with his grandson. I had a list of projects for dad and I to do, but he and Robert knocked them out and dad was impressed that his grandson had "common sense." Some thing he preached all too often to his own children.
At night we would watch movies and talk. After three days, we decided he should spend the week and at the end of the week, no one wanted him to go home. My mom had to admit he had matured, but that lasted all of five minutes as he wrote to me shortly after that visit to tell me he had reunited with his girlfriend and she was pregnant. My mom, you never know whether what she says is how she really feels or if it is a reaction to hurt. I don't dwell on it as she wouldn't be honest with me if I asked.
I had been dreaming of an idea for a portable table for years. It came to me when Michael and I were boating on the weekends. I drew the schematics and applied for a patent. I am still working on the logistics of bringing it to fruition. It takes time to develop the idea and find the resource to produce it in mass as well as market it, but I am hopeful it will happen soon.
 |
| Patent Pending |
In September, I needed to have more drywall work done in the garage. It was not some thing that I wanted to do as the lower wall behind the water pressure tank and water softener needed to be replaced. There had been years of water damage from multiple sources and I had put it off long enough.
Shortly after I purchased my house, the neighborhood had a meeting to update us on the potential of our neighborhood being purchased to expand the highway. I had not been made aware of this when I bought the house and was disappointed as I had dropped a lot of money in renovations. I was in the process of building the shed at the time so I have refrained from doing much more to the home until more information was available, but some repairs just need to be done.
I hired a man who was starting his own remodeling company. After he completed the job, I asked if he would be interested in repairing the master bath shower. He said it would take four days to do, but I knew from previous experience, he was underestimating his time.
He was able to work within my schedule as I wanted to be home when he was there to work. He had other obligations to family, so I understood that he could only work certain hours, but I have yet to understand how people who want to work are never available to work.
He started the tear out and left. I finished it and the next day when he showed up to finish, he was surprised to see that I had torn the entire shower out. I let him know that I knew what I was doing and demanded he step up his game if he wanted the job.
I spent a considerable amount of time with this young man and treated him with respect and dignity. He shared his story with me that his father taught him how to do this type of work. He was proud of his website and brochures. He was just trying to get his foot in a door and hoped for referrals. He was a member of Angie's List, although that is not where I found him.
I gave him fifty dollars one night as it was his anniversary. I knew he didn't have money to do any thing special as they had two children to support and she was bar tending twice a week. He was so grateful for my kindness. The next day he told me they went to dinner and two movies and how much his girl enjoyed herself. This is just who I am. I am probably too kind for my own good as, no good deed goes unpunished.
Six weeks later, he was still working on the bathroom. I wanted a new vanity but the one in my bathroom would have required a custom made one, so I bought the materials and drew up the plans, teaching him how I wanted it constructed. He was so proud of himself when he finished it and said that he could now add that to his resume.
It was late October 2010, I had reached a point where I trusted him in my home and he'd been working there during the day when I was at work. He had finished most of the work that needed to be done and I was going to finish up some of the work before he came back to put the final details on the project.
It was October 24, 2010 when he sent a text to inform me the high winds we had that day blew his car off the road and he had a flat tire. The next evening I noticed my diamond earrings were missing.
I had worn them on the bus trip to Chicago and had taken them off, placing them on the vanity in the main bath when a few days later, I decided I best place them where they belonged, but I was lazy, I just placed them on top of my jewelry box, not inside of it. Two days later, they were missing from the top of the box.
I was beside myself as I was not sure if they had fallen off the box and I had swept them up or if they snagged on a piece of clothing and ended up in the washer. I took the sweeper bag out in to the garage and went through it, dust particle by dust particle, finding nothing.
I was sick to my stomach when I opened the door on my jewelry box to discover the diamond bracelet I had bought on the "divorce" cruise in 2001 was missing. I pulled the appraisals from the safe and discovered more pieces were missing. My gut told me where the jewelry was, but I didn't want to believe it. He started giving me every excuse to not finish the job and one day he finally showed up.
I confronted him. His latest excuse was that his father had died and he had business to take care of revolving around him. I looked in the newspaper and never saw a death notice for his dad. When he arrived that day, I did not mix words when I accused him. He swore he would never do that, although we had many conversations about his girlfriends brother being one to lift items off of customers in the past, he would never do such a thing.
Thieves are good liars so are addicts. I had filed a police report and within a few weeks, pieces of my jewelry had been discovered at local pawn shops. I understand stolen jewelry is not a top priority with the local police department, so I took matters in to my own hands.
The diamond earrings had been pawned and bought immediately. When I was told how much they were purchased for verses how much I paid for them, I was sick to my stomach. These were the earrings that I had continually traded up with the final trade after Bill died. There were still pieces missing but the police didn't have time to go searching. They had entered his name in to their system and when any one pawned an item with that name, it alerts the police. I left work one night and told Tanya I was going to go window shop at the pawn shops on Tenth Street in Indianapolis. She told me I was crazy to go to Haughville at night and I should do it during the day. I had no idea what she was talking about, I had never heard of Haughville, but discovered it is the most impoverished neighborhood in the city.
I waited as she asked and drove down the next day to the first pawn shop on my list. I had never been in a pawn shop and I have to say, it was quite a lesson. Puppers was riding shotgun with me so I was safe. Pawn shops are busy on a Saturday morning after payday. I was browsing the jewelry cases when I spotted my necklace. I didn't want to create a scene, so I waited until the line at the register cleared. I asked to see the manager and as he approached, I told him the necklace in his show case was mine and it had been stolen recently. He immediately informed me he knew nothing about it and refused to help me.
I went to the car to call the police detective to discover he had weekends off. The woman on the line told me to secure the number of the pawn ticket and the detective would review it on Monday. I went back inside and requested the necessary information, but was told they did not have to provide me such. I went to the corner of the show case, pulled my phone out and snapped a photo of the necklace. The shop was full again and I didn't care at this point of whether I was making a scene or not. I spoke loudly to the manager, "The police will be here on Monday to retrieve the stolen goods you have displayed. I have a picture of it, so don't try selling it between now and then." Every one's eyes were on me as I walked out of the store on to my next adventure.
The next stop was a pawn shop just down the street. As you walked in the door, bright shiny tires were stacked to create a hall of shame, shame that one would so openly display these at the door! I was surprised the rubber was not melting as the tires were so hot. A very large black man was behind the counter, leaning on it as he spoke to another patron. "Good morning beautiful, any thing I can help you with?"
"No. Just window shopping." I proceeded to browse the show case displays but came up empty handed. As I was leaving the building, Super Fly appeared from the back room. A man dressed in a long fur coat, fedora cap, leather briefcase and sporty sunglasses held the door for me as I exited. I knew I was staring, it is not every day you see Super Fly in the broad day light. He crossed the street waiting for the bus. I called Tanya, "You are not going to believe who I just saw! Super Fly rides the bus in Haughville!" We could not stop laughing.
I didn't find any more of my jewelry that day, but eventually it was all recovered with the exception of the earrings and an Omega necklace. I visited several more stores and found them to be a thriving business on a Saturday morning.
A few weeks later the detective called me to come into the station to identify the person of interest. I told him I had a photo of him as I took pictures of any one I hired just in the event it was needed at a later date. While he thought I was taking pictures of the project, I was taking pictures of him and his license plate.
Identifying some one in a line up, is not always as shown in the movies. I drove to the police station and looked at six pictures of six different men. I was surprised to see he already had a mug shot and questioned the detective about it. I was not surprised he had a similar problem three years earlier and had just been released from his probation.
Within a few more weeks, Crime Stoppers posted a picture of him in the local newspaper. Apparently he could not be found, so again, I took matters in to my own hands.
He was on Facebook, so I messaged his friends and family notifying them of the reward Crime Stoppers was offering for his capture. Some were down right nasty stating he would never do such a thing, some stated he was innocent until proven guilty, some of his family were interested in the story as they had not seen him in years and had just reconnected on Facebook. It was through this venue that I discovered his father was alive and doing well. His Aunts were a bit upset that he would use this as an excuse. Finally, the mother of his girlfriend offered to tell the police where he was for the reward if I promised to not tell her daughter.
He had not told his girlfriend, mother of his child what had happened. She had been interviewed as a suspect as he had given her some jewelry to pawn, telling her he found it in a house he was working on. The police were willing to work with her, if she was a witness for their case.
He had just proposed to her a few weeks prior when she learned of this latest escapade and after being told of what really happened, she ended the relationship. He was arrested within days and spent some time in jail before his mom was able to pay the bail.
I faced him in court almost a year after the incident. I drove down to the county court house and again, had a new experience. I stood in line to go through a scanner much like you find in the airports. All of these people in front of me and I was the one they picked to take to the side and frisk. The officer was nice about it as I am sure he detected I was out of my element standing there.
I walked up to the court room and asked to speak to the prosecutor. She advised me what to expect and suggested I sit in the front row where the sign clearly stated, "For Attorneys and Police." She thought I might feel more comfortable sitting there instead of among the others in the room.
Young kids were brought in to the room, dressed in orange jumpsuits to face the Judge. I couldn't imagine their lives were over before they had even started. Children stood there being accused of murdering others, drug charges and being under the influence. The next group were parole violators, who didn't understand when you are sentenced to community service, you need to show up or if you are not to be driving because you have several DUI's against you, getting pulled over drinking and driving will end up with you facing the Judge again.
Another lifestyle that I never thought I would experience in the flesh was there for me to breath in and thank God I was blessed with common sense and knowing right from wrong.
It was finally time to step up and be heard. He couldn't afford an attorney so he was provided one. The room was noisy with chatter. The Judge turned to me after he had heard his side of the story to ask if I had any thing to say. I had written out a statement as I was unsure if I would be able to talk as my emotions were raw that day.
As I began to speak, the victim of this senseless crime, his mother sitting in the court room, I spoke of my kindness to him, my disappointment in him, his lies that his father died and last but not least, he stole the one thing that my late husband had given me. You could hear a pin drop in the room. I sat across from him and never took my eye off him, but he could not look at me. He was sentenced to pay me for the earrings as they were not insured. He owes me over thirteen thousand dollars. I go back to court every time he has a date with the Judge. I want him to know, I have not gone away. I want him to look at me and know that I will be there every time he sets foot in that courtroom. He has not done well paying me as outlined in his probation papers. I have another court date in six weeks. I have written to the Judge to stress the importance of making him responsible for this. He is supposed to make a payment each month and he does if his feet are held to the fire, but if not, he makes one just days before his next court date.
I am hopeful the Judge will consider my plea and make him more accountable. I understand the system is filled with others whose crimes far out weigh his, but this is his second offense and apparently he did not learn the first time.
Tanya reminds me often, 'No good deed goes unpunished." I want to believe there are people who are good out there that just need a little help to get on their feet. I am learning, they don't want to get on their feet as they have done well laying around taking advantage of others.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
A Weekend Get Away is Much Appreciated
The presentation and dinner were very nice. Afterwards, we sat in the lobby and watched people. Who would have known it was prom night! I love to people watch. I love to watch from a distance and conjure up a story line. Much like watching a silent movie and making up the subtitles.
I understand times have changed from when I was younger and there are some things that I enjoy seeing. Young people going to the prom with a crowd of friends verses one on one. It allows the young to enjoy a passage of time that in years past some would have sat home wishing upon a star.
Proms around the country vary upon venue. In French Lick, the closest big city is Bloomington, Indiana. It is less than sixty miles away, yet the only way to get there are on the back roads and can take you close to a ninety minute drive . On our adventure down, we wondered what people did on the back roads of this Indiana landscape. We knew a lot of injured workers lived in these towns as we recognized the names of cities by where we sent weekly checks.
That evening though there was a celebration going on! As we sat in this historic property that combined ornate details and charm of the early nineteen hundreds, you could hear the rumblings of Ford F 150's roaring to a stop outside of the entrance, giddy young girls in their gowns hanging on to their farm boys preparing to cut a rug on the dance floor. As the evening drew to an end, the young poured out of the ballroom, heels draped over their hands, flips flops replacing them, young men, decked in bolero ties, converse shoes matching the band on their cowboy hat coordinating with their dates flowing garments.
The gowns were not form fitting, they snugged the bodice, the skirt blossomed out resembling a hoop skirt from years ago. The satin material covered in yards of tulle. I couldn't imagine these young girls awaiting to be whisked away to sweet dreams of their evening, without that hoop skirt covered in mosquito netting slapping them in the face as they jumped aboard the F-150. Tanya and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. The colors exploded out of this ballroom, some exploding from their princess gowns, laughter had by all.
We wondered where they bought their dresses that evening as gowns you see young girls wear today appear to come off Paris run ways, but as we drove out of town, on the main street of a small country town, was the only dress shop, the windows filled with mosquito netting in technicolor.
No trip is worth going on if there isn't a little bit of retail therapy involved. As we were preparing to leave, we walked around the resort and shopped in the little boutiques nestled on the first floor. No matter where I travel or who I travel with, people always comment on what a "good time" we must be having as I love to clown around. We were browsing in a swanky dress shop that was decorated all cute and colorful. I love a good bargain and I have been blessed with being able to find them throughout my life. These women, who write blogs now on being frugal, shoot, I could have written a series on that thirty plus years ago. This shop was not on the list of people who were shopping frugally. But a girl can dream of a really big sale in a shop she couldn't afford to step in or that she can afford any thing they have to offer, but didn't find a thing that interested her.
I was dressed in a black and white jogging suit, the shop was done in black, whites and hot pinks. There was a chair positioned off to the side that I am sure was placed there for the wallet these women lugged in to the store called husbands. I thought the chair was calling my name, in fact the whole corner was, as it sang, "Queenie, you need to sit here and blend in with the decor!" As I sat in the chair marveling at how coordinated I was with the shop the clerk thought I should have a hat! Now, I usually wear hats, but I didn't have one on that day. Most women don't wear hats or if they do they will wear a visor or a ball cap with their cute little pony tail hanging out the back. Ball caps are the only hat that I can not wear. My curly hair just pops out underneath and I look like Bozo.
You would think if a clerk was going to suggest a hat, she would be talking about one in her store, but this woman traveled down the hall to a competitors shop and snagged the hat bringing it back for me to have my Kodak moment.
After our little trip through the shops, we headed next door to West Baden for a history tour of the resort. I wish we had had the time to schedule the tour at French Lick, but we were limited and the tour of West Baden was quite interesting.
Some know it as the eighth wonder of the world. I was built in 1855 to capitalize on the abundance of mineral springs in the area and was fashioned after a great mineral spring in Europe. Celebrities from around the world flocked here for a little rest and relaxation. The original resort was host to an opera house, casino as well as a two deck pony and bicycle track.
The mineral water baths claimed to cure almost any thing. I experienced one of these mineral baths in Hot Springs, Arkansas years ago and I must say they are very relaxing. In Arkansas they actually have someone bathe you. It is not for the meek. In its prime, West Baden was the Disney World of the day. Until automobiles became popular and travelers headed south, this was the spot to be seen.
A fire destroyed the building in 1901 and was rebuilt. It is absolutely breathtaking. Prior to the completion of the Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina, it had the largest free spanning dome in the world. The atrium is over two hundred feet in diameter and the fireplace can burn up to fourteen foot logs at a time.
As always, in the atrium, chairs were calling my name. I wanted to snuggle up and bask in the sunshine beaming through the domed ceiling reading a book, sipping on a ice cold soft drink.
The tour was interesting. The history of the site and the stories of the past were enlightening of a time so long ago. The stories of over indulging and carelessness of previous owners reminded one of life, to see the beauty of this historic landmark, knowing the site had experienced much of what life has to offer, good times and bad.
I could just imagine in the hey day of this resort the women dressed much like the prom attendees, parasols in hand verses their heels and all taking afternoon tea in the atrium after their much needed spa day. A chance to step back in time to days when life was not so hectic and demanding.
Our drive home was rather uneventful. We were both wondering of a day that we could get away to a place where dreams are made.
I understand times have changed from when I was younger and there are some things that I enjoy seeing. Young people going to the prom with a crowd of friends verses one on one. It allows the young to enjoy a passage of time that in years past some would have sat home wishing upon a star.
Proms around the country vary upon venue. In French Lick, the closest big city is Bloomington, Indiana. It is less than sixty miles away, yet the only way to get there are on the back roads and can take you close to a ninety minute drive . On our adventure down, we wondered what people did on the back roads of this Indiana landscape. We knew a lot of injured workers lived in these towns as we recognized the names of cities by where we sent weekly checks.
That evening though there was a celebration going on! As we sat in this historic property that combined ornate details and charm of the early nineteen hundreds, you could hear the rumblings of Ford F 150's roaring to a stop outside of the entrance, giddy young girls in their gowns hanging on to their farm boys preparing to cut a rug on the dance floor. As the evening drew to an end, the young poured out of the ballroom, heels draped over their hands, flips flops replacing them, young men, decked in bolero ties, converse shoes matching the band on their cowboy hat coordinating with their dates flowing garments.
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| Prom Watching Lobby |
The gowns were not form fitting, they snugged the bodice, the skirt blossomed out resembling a hoop skirt from years ago. The satin material covered in yards of tulle. I couldn't imagine these young girls awaiting to be whisked away to sweet dreams of their evening, without that hoop skirt covered in mosquito netting slapping them in the face as they jumped aboard the F-150. Tanya and I laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes. The colors exploded out of this ballroom, some exploding from their princess gowns, laughter had by all.
We wondered where they bought their dresses that evening as gowns you see young girls wear today appear to come off Paris run ways, but as we drove out of town, on the main street of a small country town, was the only dress shop, the windows filled with mosquito netting in technicolor.
No trip is worth going on if there isn't a little bit of retail therapy involved. As we were preparing to leave, we walked around the resort and shopped in the little boutiques nestled on the first floor. No matter where I travel or who I travel with, people always comment on what a "good time" we must be having as I love to clown around. We were browsing in a swanky dress shop that was decorated all cute and colorful. I love a good bargain and I have been blessed with being able to find them throughout my life. These women, who write blogs now on being frugal, shoot, I could have written a series on that thirty plus years ago. This shop was not on the list of people who were shopping frugally. But a girl can dream of a really big sale in a shop she couldn't afford to step in or that she can afford any thing they have to offer, but didn't find a thing that interested her.
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| Holding Court |
I was dressed in a black and white jogging suit, the shop was done in black, whites and hot pinks. There was a chair positioned off to the side that I am sure was placed there for the wallet these women lugged in to the store called husbands. I thought the chair was calling my name, in fact the whole corner was, as it sang, "Queenie, you need to sit here and blend in with the decor!" As I sat in the chair marveling at how coordinated I was with the shop the clerk thought I should have a hat! Now, I usually wear hats, but I didn't have one on that day. Most women don't wear hats or if they do they will wear a visor or a ball cap with their cute little pony tail hanging out the back. Ball caps are the only hat that I can not wear. My curly hair just pops out underneath and I look like Bozo.
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| Dome Ceiling at West Baden |
You would think if a clerk was going to suggest a hat, she would be talking about one in her store, but this woman traveled down the hall to a competitors shop and snagged the hat bringing it back for me to have my Kodak moment.
After our little trip through the shops, we headed next door to West Baden for a history tour of the resort. I wish we had had the time to schedule the tour at French Lick, but we were limited and the tour of West Baden was quite interesting.
Some know it as the eighth wonder of the world. I was built in 1855 to capitalize on the abundance of mineral springs in the area and was fashioned after a great mineral spring in Europe. Celebrities from around the world flocked here for a little rest and relaxation. The original resort was host to an opera house, casino as well as a two deck pony and bicycle track.
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| The Atrium |
The mineral water baths claimed to cure almost any thing. I experienced one of these mineral baths in Hot Springs, Arkansas years ago and I must say they are very relaxing. In Arkansas they actually have someone bathe you. It is not for the meek. In its prime, West Baden was the Disney World of the day. Until automobiles became popular and travelers headed south, this was the spot to be seen.
A fire destroyed the building in 1901 and was rebuilt. It is absolutely breathtaking. Prior to the completion of the Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina, it had the largest free spanning dome in the world. The atrium is over two hundred feet in diameter and the fireplace can burn up to fourteen foot logs at a time.
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| Dreaming of days gone by |
The tour was interesting. The history of the site and the stories of the past were enlightening of a time so long ago. The stories of over indulging and carelessness of previous owners reminded one of life, to see the beauty of this historic landmark, knowing the site had experienced much of what life has to offer, good times and bad.
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| Fireplace built to hold 14 foot logs |
Our drive home was rather uneventful. We were both wondering of a day that we could get away to a place where dreams are made.
Friday, April 26, 2013
A Birthday Fit for a Queen
In 2010, I turned fifty years old. There has yet to be a birth date that scares me. I don't feel like I am fifty. I can remember as a child people I knew that were certain ages and I thought they were "old" but as I've reached those milestones, I don't feel that old at all.My father retired when he was forty nine and I remind him often that I too could have retired had he let me apply for a job at General Motors. I probably wouldn't have had the life I have had and I have no regrets, but I sure would love to be retired! Many of my classmates are nearing retirement or retired. I believe most of my cousins are retired and many of my friends are nearing that age as well.
I can't dream of winning the lottery, I don't play. I can't count on social security in another ten years as I doubt there will be much there or the retirement age will increase significantly. With my luck, it will raise as I approach that golden year.
I wasn't quite done helping Barry. He was living back with Juli and her husband and once more was kicked to the curb. Who do you call when you need someone to help? That's right, he called. I was not allowing him back in to my home. I had already had to call the police twice to have him removed from my property. It is not that I dislike him, I dislike drama.
I was able to help him move his stuff to a motel that is similar to an efficiency apartment. He was working a couple of jobs to make ends meet. I will give him this, he is a hard worker, he just has a problem with will power when it comes to drugs of his choice.
He was working in the parking lot of the mall in a tent that sells rugs and paintings every year in the month of July. They loved him and wanted him to go on the road with him. He took all the tests and passed them. He would live in a Winnebago parked in the lot next to the tent to act as a security guard at night and rug thrower during the day.
He was on his way to Fort Myers a week before I was to travel there in 2009 and he was afraid to leave. He has a warrant in Florida from years ago and he feared he'd get caught. I tried to explain to him as long as he kept his nose clean, in more than one way, he could live under the radar. It wasn't like he was going to cross the state line and a flashing light was going to go off warning the authorities. I think there were more reasons, but he wasn't saying. So he told his employer that he liked to partake in a little smoke once in a while and that pretty much sealed the deal that he was not south bound with the hammer down.
He took a job for a gold company in late 2009. He stands on a curb and swings a sign encouraging you to sell your gold. He has been on this curb through rain, sleet, snow and heat since. Any one who has been on the north side by Castleton mall, knows of him. He has done such a great job, when their other shops need an increase in business, they put him on the curb. For a man who is fifty four, he can get people's attention and draw a crowd.
He wanted to celebrate my birthday with me, by taking me out to thank me for all I had done for him. I wanted to spend it alone. Every significant birthday from age twenty on had been ruined by a man and I was not entering the second half of my life starting with another bad memory. He was heart broken that I would not even go to dinner with him.
My birthday celebrations seemed to go on forever that year. I took the actual day off and spent it getting pampered. I had a manicure, pedicure, massage, saw a movie, did some shopping and had a nice dinner.
I have some wonderful friends who always make sure my birthday is extra special. This year they took me to Peterson's which is a swanky little restaurant on the north side of Indy. Every one was going to meet me there. As I walked in the hostess asked if I'd like to be seated. I told her I was with the Poland party and she looked surprised. "You must be the Queen?"
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| Queen, Tanya, Tim and the Poland's |
"Why of course!" I asked her if she'd do me a favor. I had brought a crown with me and I wanted her to put it on a platter and walk a head of me announcing the arrival of royalty. She did a splendid job! Tanya was supposed to bring my sash that says Queen, similar to what they wear in beauty pageants, but she forgot and left in the office. It would have just been the icing on the cake to be wearing my Queen Sash as I was being announced!
We had great fun that night as we always do when we get together. A few weeks later, we had a "business trip" scheduled for French Lick, Indiana. Home of Larry Byrd. I had never been and a doctor who was trying to increase his business had a select few in as guests. Dinner, presentation and a room with a view.
I drove over to pick Tanya up for our weekend away. There is no better way to travel than in the Royal Carriage. I pulled into her drive way and as usual, she is "busy" with last minute preparations.
"You didn't notice what we were driving down in?" She looked out at the car and turned back to what she was doing, looked again and started laughing. I had placed the royal crown on the Lincoln to alert all along the way, they were among royalty. What was so hilarious about this, a few years later when Prince William and Kate were married, they copied my idea with the crown on top of the cars!
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| The Royal Carriage |
We wanted to go to breakfast but we had a late start. We were going to enjoy the drive down. It was a beautiful sunny day. We stopped in Greenwood, Indiana to do a little shopping and decided to have brunch at Ruby Tuesday's.
I was in prime form that day. I guess just getting away was what I needed as things in the office were stressful. The restaurant was not that busy as we were there shortly after the lunch crowd. We were seated, given menus and asked what we favored to drink. I always get the same thing when I go to Tuesdays, so I did not have to peruse the menu trying to decide what I wanted. Tanya on the other hand does not like to read books, but she does love to read magazines and menus, cover to cover.
The waiter came over to introduce himself. I introduced myself to him as well, as "The Queen." He let me know right off the bat there was only one Queen and that was his momma. "Does she travel in a royal carriage?"
"No." I pointed to my vehicle setting in the parking lot, a clear view of it from our table.
"Well, I do." From that point on, we bantered back and forth our entire visit. After our lunch, I asked him what they had to offer a Queen on her birthday. Most restaurants have a treat for birthday guests, but not Tuesdays.
I suggested he might look into this and he came back and informed me the manager would give me a scoop of Graeters ice cream. He brought the scoop over to the table and presented it with a large serving spoon.
"Do you expect me to eat my ice cream with this spoon built for Shrek?"
"Oh honey, just put the tip in." I don't know what came over me, but out from my mouth blurted,
"That is the same thing he said last night." The waiter had to go hide behind the bar he was laughing so hard. I looked at Tanya, "Did I just say that?" We could not stop laughing!
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| My Delightful Waiter |
We had such a great time. The waiter told me there was a chair in downtown Indianapolis fit for a Queen and I had to go sit in it. I had no idea where he was talking about, but Tanya did. I doubt I'll ever sit in that chair, but the memories of that day linger on! We had such fun. The waiter wanted a picture taken of the two of us. Tanya snapped that Kodak moment and we headed off for our adventures in French Lick.